Just Some Funnies

Jordan is going through a phase.  He's been starting every sentence with "to tell you the truth".  Such as...

"To tell you the truth, I'm not going to church tonight."

"To tell you the truth, those guys on the Spartan team were calling us cuss words."  

"To tell you the truth, I'm not ready to go to bed yet."

To tell you the truth, he sounds like a little old man and it's hilarious.  

*****

Today in church, I ran into a lady in the bathroom.  She asked me if Violet was my baby.  I replied, "That's my girl!" and she said she was taking care of her in the nursery.  She went on to tell me how sweet my little Vi is and then said that she remembered when Jordan was in her class.  I was about to ask how in the world she remembered him from so many years ago when she said, "I'd never forget Jordan".  Yes, he is quite unforgettable.  

*****

My teenager has been broody around the house. Extra broody.  His broodiness rivals that of Edward Cullen in New Moon. I would be annoyed, but he broods the way I brooded when I was his age.  So I just smile and remind myself that this, too, shall pass. 

He did, however, go visit his baby sister today at church while she was in her class.  Violet's teachers let him hold her for a minute and she cried for him when he left.  It's funny how she can bring out his soft side. 

*****

Recent conversation with Violet:

Me:  "Violet, let's get ready for Jordan's football game.  Are you going to wear your green shirt?"

Violet:  *silence*

Me:  "Are you going to cheer for your brother?"

Violet:  *claps her hands*

Me:  "Are you going to wear your pretty green bow?"

Violet:  "Nah!"

Given her extreme refusal to wear hair bows, I assume Nah means No!

*****

Violet loves dolls.  She loves to pretend to be a mommy.  Here she is with her newest doll.   See how much she loves her baby?

A few minutes later I had the idea to use Violet's favorite blanket to wrap up her baby.  I did so, and handed her back to Violet.  Vi took one look, ripped the blanket off, and threw her baby on the floor.  Ha ha!

*****

I received a phone call from Jordan's choir director last week.  She had to tell me that at their last rehearsal Jordan got in trouble for looking under the stall while his friend was using the bathroom.  When I questioned him about it he said, "He wasn't even using the bathroom."  I asked how he knew that.  And he replied, "Because we'd already used the bathroom.  He just ran back in there to hide from me because I was shaking water from the sink all over him".  While I searched for the words to say next, Shaun piped in with, "Jordan, when are you going to learn to not goof off in the bathroom?".  Is it wrong that I was relieved that Jordan wasn't being a Peeping Tom? 

Castoff. Finally!

So Shaun's cast(s) is finally out of our lives forever.  It only took 3 visits to accomplish this.  Ugh.  Three days.  Three 45 minute, one way drives.  Three antsy kids tagging along.  I'm so glad that last week is over!  

When we went C.H. Martin's, the company who made Shaun's brace last Thursday, they didn't have any boots in his size.  So... the cast had to stay on one more day.  Jeff, who has been making AFO braces for Shaun since he was not even a year old, had to make a different plan.  He took the cast off.  Measured for an AFO.  Then duct taped the cast back on in hopes that it would last just one more day.

Seriously, he used duct tape.  It really can be used for everything.  He asked his assistant to bring him some and she laughed.  He had to tell her he was serious.  Ha!

After this creation, he put a rush on Shaun's AFO and made it overnight.  There's always a waiting list at C.H. Martin.  We've never gotten a brace in less than two weeks.  So Jeff really bent over backwards to take care of Shaun.  Like I said, he's been taking care of him since he was a baby and he goes to church with us too.  It's nice to have that relationship with the professionals who take care of your kids.  

The next day, on Friday, the kids and I went BACK to Suwanee.  We were worked in for our appointment, so someone new helped us.  Jordan kept eyeing a set of parallel bars and asked what they were for.  The guy helping us explained that in addition to making braces, he also makes prosthetic legs and those bars are used to help people learn to walk on their new legs.  Of course, Jordan asked what a prosthetic leg was and the guy replied, "You know.  A fake leg.  Kinda like mine!". And he pulled up his pant leg to show off his prosthetic leg.  Jordan was mesmerized!  So mesmerized that he sat still for the whole appointment.  And we were finally able to throw that cast into the trash!

That skeletal foot in the background is what was left of Jordan when he wouldn't sit still.  Ha ha!  These appointments are always long.  Thankfully we had a big room so Violet could walk around.  And Jordan was so, SO good after that leg incident!

Shaun's had a little trouble with his brace.  It's always hard when he gets a new one, and it doesn't offer as much support as the cast. It's slowed him down a little, but we were expecting this.  He wants to wear it because he doesn't want to have surgery again.  And it has a Bulldog on it, so it's a good conversation piece.  :)

Total Castoff...Not!

Today was supposed to be a big day...Shaun's cast was coming off!  The five of us were SO excited.  Wearing a cast is the pits.  When the person who's wearing the cast is an active teenage boy, it's REALLY the pits.  I've never worn one myself, but this is Shaun's 3rd or 4th cast (is it terrible that I can't remember?) so I kind of know what I'm talking about. 

Being the mother of a teenage boy who needs help bathing due to wearing a cast is the pits and also downright awkward for everyone involved.  I was really relieved when Shaun opted to sponge bathe instead. 

But today, it was coming off!  Yay for regular showers, wearing two shoes, and a whole host of other things getting back to normal.  Here is my excited  boy on the way to the doctor's office.

  Once we were at the appointment, my first clue that things might not be going as we had anticipated was that the nurse said she needed to look at her notes to see if the cast was ready to come off.  She left and stayed gone a pretty good while.  Another lady came in next, the nurse practitioner, who we'd never seen before.  For the record, she was very nice and knowledgeable.  I really liked her until she presented us with our dilemma:  Shaun's foot wouldn't be ready to go without support for 2 more weeks.  She really wanted to leave the cast in place until then, but she needed to check the incision and he has an appointment tomorrow to be fitted for a brace that he'll wear until December.  So our options were to leave the cast on and reschedule the brace appointment, or remove the cast and put another one on that the brace people remove tomorrow so that they can measure his foot.  We opted for the latter.  

Another lady came in with the cast saw.  This was what Jordan had been waiting for.  Ha ha! She began sawing away.  And sawing some more. And grunting in frustration.  Finally, I asked if something was wrong.  And she told me that the saw wouldn't saw through the cotton that was between the "mended" cast and the original cast.  Remember when we had to have the cast repaired because the heel had a hole?  I was so confused at first and then she explained that a cast saw will only saw through hard surfaces... not cotton or fabric or even skin.  Very good to know, I suppose.  The boys and I learned something new.  She called in for help and changed the blade on the saw and between the two of them, the "mended cast" finally came off.  

The saw lady left the room again to put the original blade back on the saw.  And when she plugged the saw in again, nothing happened.  There was a short in the electrical outlet.  It had been just fine ten minutes earlier.  We searched the room, found another outlet that was behind the chairs Jordan and I were camped out on and had to rearrange the furniture.  Finally, finally that cast was off.  The saw lady washed off Shaun's foot, the nurse practitioner came back in to assure us that the incision was fine, and then the saw lady began to put Shaun's foot in another cast.  He was thrilled, as you can see here.

She put the cast on, broke it apart, put it back on, taped it up, and sent us on our way.  And it only took about two hours.  Sigh.  

Tomorrow we go back to Lawrenceville and prayerfully the casts will come off for good. He'll wear a boot until the brace is ready, about two weeks.  

Shaun was a good sport about the whole thing, considering.  He was even able to laugh about it.  Laughter makes everything better, after all.  :)

Our Drama-filled Trip to Ellijay

Ellijay, GA.  I hadn't been there since I was little, if I had even been there at all.  It seems like I went there with one of my grandmothers to pick apples.  Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.  At any rate I have memories of both Mamaw and Granny talking about going to Ellijay to pick apples.  

Jordan just so happened to have a football game in Ellijay last weekend.  Ellijay is quite a drive from our area in North Hall and we had to leave early.  We had been out late at a homeschool party the night before and I knew we'd all be tired and scrambling to get ready so we made plans to get breakfast on the road.  

We left the house and drove by no less than 10 gas stations.  But we didn't get gas.  We had planned to stop in Dawsonville to get gas and breakfast.  Only our turn came up before we got to Dawsonville.  I distinctly remember telling my sweet husband that we should just go on to Dawsonville and fill up the car.  And fill up our stomachs.  It was just a little way down the road and we had plenty of time.  But no.  He made the turn and we headed toward Ellijay.

When the coach was giving out our "game day" instructions earlier in the week, he described the drive to Ellijay as a "long but pretty drive in the country".  He wasn't lying.  What he didn't tell us was that there were no gas stations or restaurants once we turned off the main road.  And I do mean NONE.  And my gas light came on about one mile after we made the turn.  

Again, I said to my husband, "We might need to turn around.  We don't know how far away the next station is.  And Jordan needs to eat now, not right before his game..."

Alas, he didn't listen.  We drove.  And drove.  And the gas light was staring us in the face.  Or at least it was staring him in the face, as he was driving.  We saw nothing but trees, pumpkin patches, and and apple orchards.  At this point I was a nervous wreck.  I had never, ever ran out of gas before and couldn't believe it was happening now.  We got all excited at one point because we saw a big Texaco sign through the trees.  We began praising Jesus... until we realized that the station was closed down.  Chris kept telling me to check the "Around Me" app on our phones to find the nearest gas station.  He didn't believe me at first when I told him it came back with "no results".  

I seriously do not know how we didn't run out of fuel.  We drove a good 45 minutes after the gas light came on.  It was a miracle, I tell you!  Chris kept muttering, "Please Lord, just help us make it to the school" while I muttered, "who cares if we make it to the school- we still have to make it home!"  The boys, on the other hand, were only concerned about wether or not they were going to get breakfast.  This further stressed Chris and I out.  It was not our finest moment.  

Finally, finally we came to a little gas station with these cute gas pumps...

and a sign reading "CASH APPRECIATED".

If you know us, then you know how often we carry cash. Hardly ever. I asked Chris if he would go in and beg for mercy since he's better with people than I am.  He went in the store and stayed a long, long time.  He finally came out with the last 4 biscuits in the store and more importantly, he was able to pump gas!

The really funny thing is that we were about 2 minutes away from the school where the football game was to be held.  

We were all so happy and excited to get there.  We all piled out of the car and Chris told Jordan to grab his jersey.  And Jordan asked Chris where his jersey was.  Can you see where I'm going with this?  That jersey was at home.  On the couch.  Ugh.  We were in a panic.  At the same time we realized that Shaun had a jersey since he helps out with the team.  Chris told Shaun to give Jordan his jersey.  Shaun yelled no way because Jordan stinks.  And Jordan yelled no way because it would be too big.  And I yelled no way because Shaun didn't have another shirt to wear.  And Violet yelled... I guess because the rest of us were yelling and she felt left out.  Ha!

Just then, Coach Jamie pulled up. Coach Jamie  owns a t-shirt printing company.  He had a trunk full of shirts and found one that fit Shaun.  It was even green.  Jordan put on his big brother's size large jersey and it didn't look too bad.  

We lost the game.  It was really close, tied up until the last quarter.  I screamed until my throat was sore because that's just what I do.  When the game was over we were all exhausted from all of the stress.  What a day.  One we'll never forget, that's for sure.  And I don't think we'll ever attempt a visit to Ellijay without filling up the car first!

"When worms have ears" and other idioms.

"Saved by the Bell" is now on our Netflix queue.  I was probably a lot more excited about this than is considered normal for a 32 year old mama.  We've been having so much rain over the past few weeks, not to mention some creepy happenings involving crazies in our area.  This had lead to us being holed up inside more than usual.  

One day I decided that I could not watch one more episode of "Kickin' It" and I turned on "Saved by the Bell", telling the  boys that I had a great show for them to watch.  I just knew they'd love it.  And they did.  At first they tried to resist, but soon they were captivated and dissolved in laughter on the couch.  Much like my sister and myself when we were kids.  

One rainy afternoon we were watching an episode involving a school dance.  Of course, Screech asked Lisa to be his date and of course, Lisa said NO! Her exact words were, "I'll go to the dance with you... when worms have ears!"

My kids went nuts.  They laughed and laughed. And then we had a quick language lesson on idioms.  One great thing about homeschooling, or parenting in general is that you can make a lesson out of anything!

So we learned about idioms.  And the kids made up their own.  They started out silly and got worse and worse...

*When poop can talk.

*When monkeys have wings.

*When burps smell great.

And then they evolved to...well, I'm not sure what:

*When boys have boobs.

*When girls have wieners.  

Gotta love boys, I guess.  It was pretty funny and I know for sure they will always know the definition of an idiom.  

I'm afraid that it's backfired on me, though. Whenever I ask them to do something, they throw an idiom at me.  

"Hey Jordan.  Brush your teeth."

"I'll brush my teeth... when poop can talk!  Bwahahahaha!  Hey Shaun, I said 'When poop can talk.  That means NEVER!"

Or:

"Okay, Shaun.  Time do practice piano."

"I'll practice piano.  When guys have boobs."

He is very nonchalant but Jordan will usually dissolve into laughter and shriek, "You said when guys have boobs.  That means never!  Ha ha ha!"

I just shake my head and laugh too.  Laughter is good medicine. 

That Royal Baby

I've been kind of obsessed with Will, Kate, and the Royal Baby lately.  I don't think I've been this excited about the birth of a baby since last summer.  ;)

I was practically giddy this past Monday when I heard the news that Duchess Kate was in labor.  I was glued to Fox News.  So were a lot of my friends, apparently.  

I love the way the birth was announced... "Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge was safely delivered of a son at 4:24 p.m."  How royal sounding is that?!  I burst out of my bedroom and announced "It's a prince.  We have a prince!"  Okay, I realize that "we" don't have a prince.  I'm an American citizen and proud of it.  I was just so excited!  My family was less than impressed with the news and I found myself looking at three sets of rolling eyeballs.  

The next day I was busy doing laundry at my sisters- our washing machine died- and shortly after I went home she sent me a text:  "News update:  less than 30 minutes til we see the new prince!"  Once again, I parked it in front of the tv and waited.  And waited.  And then finally they appeared!  I cried a little bit... they just looked so happy.  And Kate looked beautiful.  And I LOVED the way Prince William carried the car seat to the car and drove his own car away from the hospital.  

Sigh.

Jordan was watching with me, but he wasn't impressed.  He took a look and said, "That's it?!".

Of course we got all excited the next day when the new prince's name was announced.  George Alexander Louis, in case you missed it.  Or rather, His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge.  Sigh again.

Later on that day I discovered a "Royal Name Generator" on Facebook.  My royal name is Duchess Aquarius the Allusive.  Of course I had to find royal names for all of us:

Chris:  King Arturo the Ever-Moving
Shaun:  Grand Emperor Simon the Ever-Moving
Jordan:  Emperor Simon the Ever-Moving
and Violet:  Grand Dame Wanda the Allusive

I must admit that I smiled when I saw that my three guys' were "Ever-Moving".  How fitting!

It's been an exciting week in the news!

Girl friends, face punches, and drugs. Oh, my!

Jordan has been so funny this week.  Here are a few of our conversations, to the best of my memory.

Jordan:  Mom.  What would you say if I had a girl friend?

Me:  You mean when you're older?

Jordan:  No.  Now.

Me:  You're too young to have a girl friend.

Jordan:  But if I did.  What would you say?

Me:  I'd say there's really no point in you having a girl friend since you don't have a job or a car.  Flash backs of Judah Smith sermons filled my mind.  Anybody remember that one?  J-O-B?  

Jordan:  Well I want one.  And just to let you know, I'm on the lookout.  

Here's one more, from later the same day.

Jordan: When Violet gets a boyfriend, I will tell him to leave my sister alone or I'll punch him in the mouth.

Me:  Wow, that's really harsh.  What if I said that to your girlfriend one day?

Jordan:  Mom, you could never say that.  Unless she was on drugs.  Then you could say it.  He then got up and ran out of the room.  

Me:  Wait.  What?!?!

I love this funny, feisty son of mine!   

Dream

It was raining cats and dogs when we got home from church last night and I left my book in the car.  I'm reading Insurgent by Veronica Roth if you're interested.  I usually read after the kids are asleep, but it was raining so hard that I didn't want to go outside to get it.  Plus, I couldn't talk Chris into going out there for me.  

I have a "thing".  I can't go to sleep if I haven't read anything first.  Just call me quirky.  The other day my sister and I had the kids at the park and we discovered a cute little library in the town of Clermont.  It's called "The Dip" and it's absolutely precious.  Three little ladies run it strictly on a volunteer basis.  All of the books have been donated and there's no computer system... they just write the book's due date on the little card in the back of the book.  Just like we did back in elementary school.  Oh my gosh... I love it!

The last time we were there I checked out A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle.  Yes, another book for kids.  I had always wanted to read it when I was younger but somehow never got around to it.  I never got around to it this time either, since I was so wrapped up in other books.  I was just going to return it and had it sitting in the library bag by the front door.  I picked it up to read last night just to have something to read before bed.  I read this preview on the front cover:

It was a dark and stormy night; Meg Murry, her small brother Charles Wallace, and her mother had come down to the kitchen for a midnight snack when they were upset by the arrival of a most disturbing stranger.

Sounds like a good book to me.  But, Violet was having a hard time settling down for the night and by the time she went to sleep it was after midnight.  I wound up falling asleep watching reruns of Duck Dynasty.  

The next thing I knew it was 3:00 in the morning and I was shaking my head, thinking "What a crazy dream".  It started at my grandma's house.  I was throwing some scraps of food off the front porch after dinner one night.  I turned around and saw a woman in a black hooded cloak getting ready to ring the doorbell.  This woman looked the way I had imagined the "disturbing visitor" looked in A Wrinkle in Time.  For some reason, I thought she was my friend Glenda.  Not sure why...she's not at all disturbing.  I said hello to her and she jumped.  Apparently she hadn't seen me there. When she did see me, she ran away.  FYI, it wasn't Glenda after all.  

The scene then changed to my parents house.  A houseful of people was there, including all of the Robertson grandchildren from Duck Dynasty.  All of the kids were up in my old room having a slumber-like party while the adults were talking downstairs.  I went to check on Violet when I remembered that I had a missed call and voicemail on my phone from several hours earlier.  It was the creepy lady from my grandma's porch.  She hissed three words..."Jase is gone".  

Jase, as in Jase Robertson.  How had we not noticed that he was missing?  I've never met him personally,  but I think he would sort of stick out in a crowd.  We also somehow figured out that the old woman had cast a spell on us.  My  mom, myself, and a few other adults cautiously crept to the door that leads out to what used to be the garage at my parents house, before they turned said garage into an extra room.  My mom was about to open up the door when I shouted, "Wait!  We need some anointed oil!".  

My mom thought this was silly, but she humored me anyway and allowed me to run to my purse to retrieve a small vial of lavender essential oil.  Not exactly anointed, but close enough, I guess.  We slowly opened up the garage door and found a garage full of frogs that where multiplying as we watched.  Frogs.  As in one of the curses God brought down on Egypt in Exodus.  The started to hop into the house and everyone freaked out because those frogs were huge!  I smeared my "anointed" oil on the threshold of the door and bound those frogs out of the house in the name of Jesus.  The frogs disappeared and  my mom told me that she would never, ever doubt the use of anointing oil again.  

Things got a little fuzzy after the frogs vanished, but I do remember that somehow we found Jase Robertson.  He was safe and sound.  

I don't think I need to eat chili late at night again.  Ha!

Graduation Day

Graduation Day was today!

Our co-op ended its 3rd year with a bang today.  The kindergartners and first graders graduated.  We also had one high school graduate.  Everyone else gave presentations of what they've been working on all  year.  

Jordan "graduated" with his class even though he's technically in first grade already.  The k's and 1's were together this year and he really wanted to wear that cap and gown!

When asked how he could make the world a more beautiful place, he replied- "I will make the world more beautiful by singing!"  Amen!  His teacher also asked all of the students to write about what they do before bed.  My little man's response?  "I never brush my teeth."  Sheesh.  That's not true, by the way!

The middle school Creative Writing class spent the year writing memoirs.  Shaun worked really hard on writing a paper about his Pawpaw who passed away in July.  At first, it was really hard for him to write down his memories.  He has such a tender heart.  We stuck with it, though, and he wrote a very touching piece about his Pawpaw.  He chose not to read it aloud at graduation, but we took it by Granny's and my parents house on the way home this afternoon.  

I was juggling Violet and my phone during Shaun's class's turn and she had started squirming, so this is the best picture I could manage.  

After the program we had refreshments outside on the playground.  It was a beautiful day and he kids played while us moms fellowshipped.  

Great day!

5

Alice in April by:  Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Yes, I checked out two of these books.  Actually, 3.  I haven't read the other one yet.  I read two of the three last Friday when we were all iced in.  

I had never read this particular "Alice" book before and I was actually really excited to get it.  I was not disappointed.  More of Alice's journey through middle school with lots of laughter, tears, and most of all, the awkwardness!  One passage that sticks out the most is when Alice is getting a physical.  The nurse tells her to get undressed and Alice panics because she's afraid the doctor is going to walk in before she's "ready".  Who hasn't worried about that while at a doctor's appointment?  I laughed and laughed.  

This book was a little... deeper than the others I've read.  Growing up gets harder and harder for Alice, just like in real life.  

I have since decided that I must purchase these books for Violet to have when she's ready to read them.  :)

4

The Agony of Alice by: Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

I promise that I really do read "grown-up" books.  Truly.  I am, in fact, in the middle of a fantastic Dean Koontz novel right now.  Sometimes, though, I'm too tired to think about what I read.  I just want to read something easy and funny and not have to pick apart the plot or think about it too much.    

The other day in the library (the same day that I set off the alarm) the kids and I were in the teen section looking for XBox games.  Speaking of the teen section... have you been over there lately?  Apparently, all books for the young adult audience must have vampires, witches, goblins, or wizards as the main characters. I'm all about a good vampire series, but I was dismayed at the lack of selection for teens in the library.  

Anyway.  Moving on. 

I was browsing the books in the teen section while waiting for the boys to choose their games.  In the midst of all that fantasy nonsense, a set of brightly colored books caught my eye way up on the top shelf.  The "Alice" books.  My elementary school librarian thought I would like these when I was in fifth grade.  And she was right.  Mrs. Gailey was usually right about what I'd like to read.  I loved that woman!  

So, I first read The Agony of Alice in fifth grade.  I laughed out loud then, and I laughed out loud last Friday when I read it again.  Alice just reminds me SO much of myself.  She's awkward.  She does some really dumb things.  She has a quirky way of thinking.  She is so stinking funny.  

I can't wait until Violet is old enough to read about Alice.  Maybe we'll read them together.  Or maybe I can introduce my niece to Alice and she'll love her as much as I do.  

3

Superfudge by:  Judy Blume


Truthfully, Shaun read most of this one.  I "made" him read it for school while I listened and asked questions after each chapter.  I loved it so much that I had to list it here.  

I've been a fan of Fudge and his brother Peter since my teacher, the wonderful Mrs. Westmorland, introduced them to me in fourth grade.  When Shaun was in 4th grade, we read Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.  He's always been able to identify with Peter. Back then, he and Peter had the same "biggest problem"...their little brothers!  Now that Shaun and Peter are in 6th grade, the similarities continue as the Hatcher brothers adjust to the arrival of their new baby sister.  Weirdly, I can also identify with some characters in this book:  the parents of Fudge and Peter.  I used to think Mrs. Hatcher was such a "Debby Downer" and now I see myself in her.  I'm not the only one.  Shaun actually told me that I reminded him of Peter's mother.  I'm getting old, I guess.  : /  

I loved, LOVED this book and so did Shaun.  We laughed and laughed as we read it.  Those are the best books... the ones that make you laugh out loud. I have absolutely nothing negative to say.  We've already been to the library to get the next one in the series.  

Just a couple of girls, out on the town...

Violet and I had a "girls day" last Saturday. We left the house at 1:30 and didn't get back until after 11:00.  She was so good.  Only cried a few times and has earned the title of "Best Behaved Baby". This is in addition to her title of "Best Dressed Baby".  :)

Our first "event" of the day was my friend Tonia's wedding shower.  She's getting married in December.  The day before my birthday, in fact, and I am so excited for her.  It was fun to get together with her, eat lunch, shower her with gifts, and wish her God's blessings. 

After the shower, I drove to my friend Kendra's house for her annual birthday tradition of going out to dinner and painting pottery.  We ate at a Greek restaurant that I've never been to before, and it was amazing.  I had a "Peasant Salad".  We had never heard of it before, but its just a Greek Salad without the lettuce.  Lots of peppers, onions, olives, cucumbers, and tomatoes.  And of course, the Feta cheese.  I also shared some pizza with my friend Jessica and it was delicious, too.  I just might have to go back there in a few weeks for my own birthday!

Here's the birthday girl.  My beautiful friend Kendra.  I am so thankful that God brought us together.  We share many of the same struggles and she also homeschools her three children.  She has always been an encouragement and a source of accountability to me and I love her so much!  I don't know if she'll ever read this, but if she does...I don't know what I'd do without you, Kendra!

After dinner we walked to the pottery store.  My friend Claire was nice enough to help me with Violet while I painted my ornament so that I wouldn't paint it upside down or anything.

I made an ornament with Violet's footprint on it to commemorate her first Christmas with us, and I think it's pretty safe to say that it was my best attempt yet.  I haven't seen the finished product yet, but it couldn't be worse than this one!

It was a really fun day and I enjoyed having my daughter with me.  Even though she cried her eyes out during the entire drive home!

Don't Touch Molly!

Elf on the Shelf.  My sister-in-law is doing it this year for her girls and they are having such a good time with it.  I've always thought the whole concept was creepy, but we might just have to try it for Violet (and maybe Jordan) next year- Emma and Hailey are enjoying it so much.

We were over at their house this afternoon and I noticed Molly the Elf on the kitchen counter in a Barbie convertible.  After dinner, Jordan noticed it too, and got the car down to roll it around.  My sister-in-law panicked and said, "Don't touch Molly!  She'll lose her magic!".

Jordan just looked at her like she'd lost her mind.  Apparently that's the way the game's played.  (I must read up on all the rules before we do it next year!)  

While Mandy was apologizing to Jordan for raising her voice, Shaun came into the kitchen and wanted to know what the big fuss was about.  My mother-in-law began to explain the whole "Elf on the Shelf" story and why no one was allowed to touch Molly the Elf.  Shaun just listened with a strange expression on his face.  Then his Nana asked him if it all made sense.  He just looked at her and said, "No.  Not really".  We all laughed and Uncle Rob said, "I don't know Nana... seems sort of far-fetched."

Shaun is so old and over the whole Santa thing, and it was sooo funny.  He thought that Nana was trying to convince him that the elf was real and he wasn't falling for it, but at the same time he didn't want to hurt her feelings.  

Ha ha!  We told him to just play along with his cousins.  Let's hope he's still willing to keep up the charade for Violet next year!

"Opera"

Today was one of those days for Jordan.  He had such a hard time concentrating and was pretty wild.  He needed to get a lot of energy out, so he played outside a lot.  It was also a school day, and he just wasn't feeling it.  Neither was I, honestly.  I'm sick today.  I picked a few battles in the name of math and writing, but I just didn't have it in me to fight with my youngest strong-willed boy over what he read today.  

Instead of using our reading curriculum I told him to go get a book from the library box.  He came back with a "Little Bill" book, which he chose from the library himself when he found out the Bill Cosby had written it.  We're HUGE Cosby fans in this house.  But.  Jordan still wouldn't read.  He could read it.  It wasn't too difficult.  He just didn't want to.  So, he sang it instead.  

Yup.

He sang the entirety of The Meanest Thing to Say, complete with flourishes and crescendos.  He also sang the answers to the questions I asked him. It was one of the funniest things I've heard in quite a while.  

If I Wanna Make 'Em Smile...

My kids have a new favorite meal.  They ask for it constantly.  The funny thing is that I came up with it for the first time a few months ago when I had to scrounge around for food in the pantry and fridge because we were completely out of groceries and I was too tired and stressed to go to the grocery store alone with all three kids.  

Here's what I did.

The night before I foresaw that a trip to Kroger would be necessary if we wanted to eat dinner.  I also knew that Chris would be working late and although I had began to drive again after my c-section, going to Kroger with all of my children was just not something I felt like I could do.  So, I rummaged around in the pantry and found a bag of dried black beans.  I'm not even sure when I had bought them, but the date on the bag was good so I scored!

The next morning I put the beans into the Crock Pot after boiling them for about 10 minutes to soften them up.  I added a little olive oil, onion, and some salt and pepper and then turned the heat on low.  The boys saw me doing this and immediately began complaining that they didn't like beans.  I told them to shut it.  In a nice way of course.  And we went on with our day.  

The beans cooked all day.  We went to co-op classes and were greeted with a heavenly smell when we came home.  The kids (the same boys who so rudely voiced their disdain for beans) wanted to know what that wonderful smell was.  

When dinner time rolled around I whipped up some instant rice.  I put some rice and beans into a bowl and topped it with grated sharp cheddar cheese, a little salsa, and a dollop of sour cream.  I called the boys to the table and braced myself for the complaining to begin.  

It did begin, but was silenced with the first mouthful of that tasty goodness.  I seriously could not believe the way the boys carried on.  Jordan wanted to know how I had made something so good.  Shaun said it was the best meal he'd ever had.  They both had second bowls and even thirds.  

I gave myself a little pat on the back for evading a trip to the grocery store and we even had enough left over for lunch the next day.  

I've made that meal three more times since and I still laugh at the way the kids carry on when they find out that beans are for supper. 

So easy, and so healthy.  

And it makes everybody smile.  

The Nutcracker

I have to post about this.  I just can't not write about it.  But be warned.  If you can't handle the possibility that my friends and I might be just a little bit immature and uncultured, read no further.  

...........

Okay, then.  This story really begins oh, maybe five years ago.  Approximately.  My mother decided that it would be fun for  my sister and I to take her daughters (she only had 2 of them back then!) to The Nutcracker.  Mom even bought our tickets for us.  Honestly, ballet is not my favorite thing in the world. But it was Christmas, and the tickets were free, and I even back then I loved spending time with my sister, so we went.  Somehow we wound up on the front row at Pearce Auditorium, just us two sisters and two small girls.  

The ballet began and everything was fine.  And then the male dancer came out.  I don't even know what the name of his character is...I told you ballet is not my favorite!  The main male dancer in The Nutcracker. He danced onto the stage and my eyes almost popped out of my head.  I glanced at my sister out of the corner of my eye and looked straight into her own wide eyes.  And it took everything we had not to giggle.  

That male dancer was not covered.  At all!  Skin tight pants (tights?  whatever they're called) and a short little shirt.  And his "business" was all up in our faces since we were on the front row.  Seriously, his outfit left nothing...nothing to the imagination.  I listened for other gasps of surprise and disbelief from other members of the audience, but apparently we were the only ones who noticed.  Or the only ones immature enough for this to be a distraction from the ballet.  

After the show, my nieces called my mom to tell her all about their first ballet experience.  My little niece Keri-lyn spoke first:  "We just went to see... the...the... The Nuts..."

And that was it.  My sister and I burst into peals of laughter that continued until our stomachs hurt.  Poor little thing was trying her hardest to remember the name of the ballet and we were not helping at all.  Ha ha ha!

I went home that night convinced that this was just normal ballet attire.  

The next year my sister-in-law won tickets to see The Atlanta Ballet's production of The Nutcracker at The Fox Theater.  The first thing I noticed was that the main male character kept  his private stuff private!  He still did the whole tights/pants thing but he also wore a long tunic-type shirt.  Nothing inappropriate or trashy here!  I went home that night convinced that the guy from last year's production back home in Gainesville had simply been the unfortunate victim of a wardrobe malfunction.  

Last week, we took a little homeschool field trip to Pearce Auditorium to see... yup.  You guessed it.  The Nutcracker.  One of our fellow homeschool kids was actually in this production, so we were really excited to go.  

Here's a shot of the kids before the show began. 

The ballet began, and everything was fine.  Until the main character came out.  My sister swears it was the same guy from our first Nutcracker experience.  And he was wearing the same outfit as before, only in white.  Once again, my eyes met those of my sister's and we muffled our snorts of laughter and tried to enjoy the show.  We didn't say anything to the kids about anyone's outfits and the kids didn't mention it to us, either.  

When we finally came home later that night, after having family pictures taken and Christmas play practice, The Hubs asked the boys how they liked the ballet.  

Jordan looked kind of funny and said, "Well.  There was this man.  And you could see his wiener.  And his butt, too".  

Chris just looked at me and I tried in vain not to burst into laughter again.  

Then Shaun spoke up:  "Oh yeah!  You could see everything.  And I was sitting beside my cousins.  And I was thinking, I can't believe that Jaycee is seeing this.  And Keri-lyn.  And LAYNA!!!"

Chris looked at me again and raised his eyebrows.  I admitted that maybe the guy should have had a little more clothing on.  And I felt bad and awkward that the only thing my kids took away from the ballet was an image of a scantily-clad man.  

Another group of friends were going to the same ballet the next day and I warned them!  They thought I was over-reacting at first but later on told me that they felt exactly the same way I did.  

Seriously?  Why'd the guy have to wear that?  Does he dance better with his stuff bouncing across the stage?  Us adults had some laughs but truthfully, a lot of our kids were uncomfortable.  

Some friends and I were talking at church yesterday (we were at Christmas rehearsal and had a ton of time to kill... lots of time to talk!)to a woman who's been involved in ballet for years and years.  She was shocked that any dancer would wear something like that, especially in white.  She even said that things like that were huge no-no's in her ballet circle.  And that we should send that ballet company a letter.  

What do you think?

"Arting", Hearts, and The Art Club

Yesterday, Jordan suddenly decided that he's into art.  We came home from swimming and he immediately brought his pencil box full of markers and crayons to the table and began "arting".  

You've never heard the term "arting" before?  Well, it simply is "the act of making art".  

Jordan "arted" until it was time to go to a birthday party and then he scooped up his supplies to take with him so that he could "art" in the car.  We had many, many new pieces of art by Jordan by the end of the night.  

This morning, he was at it again.  Only instead of drawing pictures he was into writing notes.  I was in Heaven watching him sit still and work voluntarily.  Here are two samples of the many, many, many notes he wrote today.

"I love Mommy.  Jordan loves Mom. Jordan"

"I love Violet.  Jordan loves Violet."

I love all of the little hearts he drew for "love".

He also wrote notes for Pop, Susie, and his cousins.  Of course he had to run next door to deliver said notes.  When he came home he announced that he was having an "art club".  

And that's just what he did.  Teddy and Hippo came to the Art Club's first meeting.  They had Cheeze Its for snack.  "Arting" makes one extremely hungry. 

I've had the most fun watching him create today!