Check Up

Took Jordan to his 5 year check up today. He's doing really, really well. Healthy. So healthy, in fact that the doctor commented on how long it had been since he'd seen us last. Such a far cry from this time 4 years ago when we practically lived in Dr. O's office.

Dr. O. We love him. He's gone above and beyond his call of duty to keep me sane and my children healthy. I love that my kids have a doctor who listens to us...even if he doesn't agree with what we're saying. Like today, when I told him that I wasn't sure if I wanted Jordan to continue his immunizations. I expressed my concerns: seizures, autism, small stature, his suspected weak immune system, and the fact that Jordan has had some not-so-pleasant reactions to vaccines in the past. He listened. Made his "pro vaccinations" speech and then we agreed to disagree for at least one more year. No pressure. And that was that.

I'm trying to remember all of the "stats"...height, weight, etc. Is it bad that I can only remember that Jordan now weighs 34 pounds? I'm drawing a blank on his height. He didn't have a growth spurt this year, but his BMI is right on target for the first time in....forever. He used to be in the -5th percentile for height and weight, but not anymore!

One weird thing. Jordan didn't pass his vision screening. Not really sure what that's all about. He was supposed to be describing pictures and all he said he saw were letters. Strange. We've made an eye appointment to have it checked out by a specialist.

Everything else was routine and easy. No shots, finger pricks, or urine samples. We did opt for a flu screening, since both of the boys have been exposed. Thankfully, it came back negative. During the exam, Jordan had a hilariously serious conversation with the doctor about dinosaurs, his brother, and skinny jeans.

And then we were done. Came home. Visited with my sister and my daddy for awhile. Now the boys are snacking and we're about to have reading time.

Ew...I just realized that I forgot to return DVDs to NetFlix and Red Box. Guess I'll have to wait an extra day to find out what happens with Elana and Stefan in the Vampire Diaries. : /

Jordan's 5th Birthday Party

We celebrated Jordan's birthday on Saturday...even though he won't actually be 5 until

Friday. Which has caused quite a bit of confusion for him. I think he had fun at his party anyway.

As with most of our birthday parties, the day began with some stress. Chris had some work to do. The kids were a little antsy. And I had tons of errands to run. So Jordan and I dropped Daddy off at church (where the party was to be held) a few hours beforehand so he could get his work done and then we headed out to pick up a few last-minute things.

Of course, I ran late. Don't I always? I was leaving the mall at 12:45 and wondering how in the world I would get everything done by 2:00. And then my phone rang. I answered the phone to hear one of my favorite voices say "Auntie Erin, do you need any help with Jordan's party? I'm in town with nothing to do..."

Ahhh, Josalynd...she was such a God-send that day! Not only did we get to visit, but she helped us set everything up on time. I'm so thankful for this girl!

And she's just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside!

But back to Jordan's party.

I think everyone had a good time. Jordan was blessed with many, many gifts and it was so nice to get together with some friends we hadn't been able to see in awhile.

My friend Rachel was kind enough to take pictures for me. Love this girl. She's also a God-send and was such a big help to me. It was so nice to be able to focus on the party and to not be worried that we wouldn't have any pictures. Because she's such a talented photographer, I had a hard time finding a photo of her...she's usually behind the camera instead of in front of it! I managed to find a shot of her taken before Christmas at another birthday party.

Isn't she pretty?

But again, back to Jordan's party...



Even the big kids enjoyed themselves!

I made the ice cream cake...my first birthday cake ever. I was proud of myself....even if there was no baking involved!

Jordan and his friend Elijah. Adorable in their skinny jeans.

I got this one from Mrs. Nesbitt

5 years old!

Lately

Lately I have been:

1. Teaching my boys handwriting. I finally broke down and began to teach Shaun how to write in cursive. Against my wishes. I personally feel like this is a dying art with no real purpose, what with us being smack in the middle of the computer age and all. But...he expressed an interest and I felt as if I should support it. We began today, learning the "undercurve swoop" and mastering the letters "i" and "t". He did a great job! Tomorrow its on to "u" and "w".


Jordan's been writing, too. The old fashioned way. He can write his name somewhat legibly, and now we're moving on to the other letters. One of his favorite activities is to "practice his letters" on his dry erase booklets. Really. Here's a shot of him practicing on an ordinary sheet of paper. (We were at church for Shaun's drama class and I forgot his bookbag in the car.)


2. Trying to get healthy. A group of my girlfriends and I have a plan. A plan that's gonna work once and for all. How do I know its gonna work? Several reasons. All of which I'll blog about later.

3. Getting really excited about getting healthy.

4. Reading.



5. Saving some money by switching car insurance companies.

6. Celebrating Jordan's 5th birthday.

7. Wondering how on Earth he can really be 5 years old in only 4 short days.

8. Weepy.

9. Encouraged by my friends...


10. ...and feeling hurt by some others.

11. Watching Season 1 of "The Vampire Diaries".

12. Reading 1 Corinthians and feeling extremely convicted.

13. Meeting new friends at our co-op.

14. Feeling extremely blessed.

Shopping for Skinny Jeans

My little Jordan will be turning 5 years old next week. Yesterday he informed me that he wanted his own skinny jeans to wear to his birthday party. So I took him shopping. And he wore this the whole, entire time:

I don't think I could make this stuff up if I tried.

Hold Fast

Its January, and we're fasting again. A corporate fast, so that means I can blog about it.

:)

In an effort to keep things positive around here while we're still snowed in, I've been trying to fill our house praise music. I had Mercy Me playing on my iPod as I was making lunch today. The "Coming Up to Breathe" album. I don't think I've listened to that album since last January's fast. Not sure why. I love it. Its one of my favorites. Especially "Hold Fast". I heard it again today and was transported right back to January 2007.


2006-2007. Aside from the time after Shaun's birth when we weren't sure if he would survive, late 2006 through early 2007 was the darkest time of my life. Shaun was in kindergarten and struggling. Really struggling. We were beginning to realize that his disabilities were not strictly physical. Throughout his life, my one "sanity saver" was to say to myself: "At least he doesn't have a learning disability". I would repeat this to myself daily. After each doctors appointment. When we finally received the "cerebral palsy" diagnosis. When he was fitted for leg braces and when I watched him struggle to do things that "normal" children could do easily...I would chant to myself: "At least he doesn't have a learning disability. I can't handle the physical stuff, but thank goodness he doesn't have a learning disability".

That little "lifeline" was ripped from my hands in the beginning of our kindergarten year. During IEP meetings his teachers would toss around words such as "processing delay" and "self-contained classroom". And a piece of me would die.

On a recommendation from Shaun's doctor, he had began seeing a psychiatrist and a neurologist. The neurologist discovered that Shaun had epilepsy and had been having mild seizures. Another blow. A few weeks later we saw the psychiatrist. After waiting in her office for over 3 hours, she talked with us for 10 minutes and we left with (false) diagnoses of: Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, ADD, Depression, Anxiety, a sleep disorder, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Of course, we also left with a prescription to treat each of these issues. And so began the medications.

I feel slight resentment towards this psychiatrist. I really, really don't see how you can justify all of those diagnoses in a 10 minute interview. I admit why she may have suspected some of the problems. Shaun was a handful back then. Moodswings. Outbursts. Lack of self-control. Violent fits. All to the extreme. And I didn't hesitate to tell her all about it. I was overwhelmed and desperate for some help, and I did what she told us to do. When the (very expensive!) meds didn't help, we just upped the dosages. Again and again. Until God gave me another answer. A year later we discovered that Shaun's problems were really caused by a combination of epilepsy, food sensitivities, and some vitamin deficiencies. How I wish I had an extra 3 hours to waste...I would go back to that psychiatrist and parade my kid around her office to show her that he can, in fact, display self-control without any meds.

Oops. Sorry. Totally didn't mean to wind up on my "Evils of Unnecessary Medication Soapbox". Back to 2007.

And then there was Jordan, who was almost a year old. He was supposed to be my "healthy" child. The "easy" one, if you will. As all this stuff was mounting with Shaun, I also had a relatively new baby. Who, as it turned out, was sick a lot. Lots of reflux. Lots of crying. RSV. Asthma. Many ear infections. Pneumonia. Sinus infections. Breathing treatments. ER visits. My view of him as "easy" began to waver just a little.

One day, he was sick and we were at the doctors office-again. I seriously felt as if we lived there. Between my two boys, lots of the doctors and nurses (and receptionists and lab techs) new us and new us well. They would come by to chat. I'm actually pretty good friends with our doctors former nurse today, 4 years later. But anyway, we took Jordan in for another ear infection. As the doctor was checking his throat, she commented on his teeth. He was almost 12 months old and was only beginning to cut his 2 middle teeth on the bottom. I had noticed that the teeth looked a little sharp, but dismissed it. My plate was overflowing and teeth took a place at the bottom of my priority list.

The doctor felt of Jordan's teeth and suggested that we see a dentist because "...if he bites someone, he could really do some damage. They need to be filed down". I didn't really think anything about it. Like I said, teeth just didn't seem that important in comparison to all the other issues we were dealing with at the moment. We scheduled a dentist appointment for the next week.

The day before we saw the dentist was the day Shaun was diagnosed with Epilepsy. So I was a little emotional. Or a lot. I feel bad when I think back about this day, because when Jordan was seeing the dentist, Shaun was on my mind. It wasn't until the hygenist brought Jordan back to me and asked us to wait five minutes for the xrays to develop that I began to panic. I sat with Jordan in the dark theater room of the dentsists office watching "Backyardigans" while five minutes turned into 45. And I was in a panic. My heart was racing. I couldn't breath. Blood was pounding in my ears. Then the dentist came into the room and asked me if she could talk to me. The dentist. That's when I really knew something was up. When the dentist herself came out to get me. I picked Jordan up and followed her to her consultation room.

I half-listened while she began talking to me about Ectodermal Dysplasia. I half-listened because I was trying not to cry. I tried to focus on the information she gave me: pointed and missing teeth (Jordan's xrays showed both), non-working sweat glands, sparse hair, dentures...while trying in vain to hold back tears. Then the dentist gave me a pamphlet with pictures of kids on the front who looked an awful like my child. Pale. Petite features. Thin, feathery blond hair. Strange-looking pointy teeth. I know that last part sounds harsh, but that's what I remembered thinking. And I thought that I didn't want my baby to look that way. I almost lost it but I didn't. The dentist gave me the name and number of a geneticist and a dermatologist and told me to make appointments. I somehow managed to make it to the car. Buckled J into his car seat. Calmly dialed my mom's work number. She said answered the phone and that's when I lost it: "Mama....there's something wrong with Jordan. His teeth...the dentist...wah wah wah...gasp....sniffle...". There's nothing pretty about me when I cry. :)

My sweet mom calmly told me to meet her at Chick fil a. She was able to calm me down and we looked over the pamphlet together. She made me see that this wasn't the worst thing that could happen. We made appointments with the specialists and decided to do some research on our own. I felt better, but this was still another blow.

So there I was. Falling apart. My family was in shambles. I was in a deep depression. Overwhelmed. I had no friends. Chris was working all the time and barely bringing home a paycheck. We were brand new to our church, so we didn't have any support from a church family. I had no friends. My marriage was failing. I felt completely alone. Abandoned by God.

My mom had given Chris "Coming Up to Breathe" for Christmas. I put it in on the way to the grocery store one night and was hooked. I heard "Hold Fast" and cried my eyes out. Listened to it again in Kroger's parking lot. And again on the way home. And again and again. For the first time ever, I allowed a song to minister to me. And minister it did! I remember crying through this song in my kitchen and thinking this:

"To anyone who's hurting"...Um. Yeah. You think?

"To those who've had enough"...Me! Lord! I've had enough. I really, really don't think I can handle anymore.

"To all the undeserving"...I can't deserve all of this. And neither do my children.

"What I've learned in my life, One thing greater than my strife is His grasp"...If you're greater than all of this, God, then make it stop!

And later, "Okay. I can do this. I can. Maybe, maybe, maybe we're all going to be okay".

And, eventually, we were. The kids are fine. We learned how to deal with their "stuff" with God's help. We began to trust Him with all those things that were out of our control. I'm so thankful that God brought us to our church when He did. I can see now that it was all in His perfect timing. As always, He knew what we needed when we needed it.

Here it is. "Hold Fast". If you've never heard it before, I hope you like it! It still serves as a reminder of where I've come from and the hope I have in Jesus.

Hold Fast

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope

You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes

Snowbound

That's been us this week. It snowed Sunday night. A lot. And it all stuck. And then it all froze over. Which made driving difficult.

So, the Hubs had to spend a few days at the hospital, where he works. He was on-call and had to be within 30 minutes of the hospital at all times. Which left me home alone. With my sweet, lovely, hyperactive children. Stir crazy doesn't begin to describe it.

Okay. It wasn't all that bad. We played a lot of video games. Shaun "skated" on the frozen snow in the yard. Jordan became addicted to "The Wonder Pets" on NetFlix. Shaun beat several levels in "Lego Star Wars". We all engaged in countless light saber battles. Jordan learned to write his name. Shaun finished a up a unit in math. We ate a lot of peanuts and vegetables. We squabbled. We played with Legos, Moon Sand, and Play Doh. Jordan performed a few puppet shows. My dad braved the elements to drive over for a visit. We screamed like school girls when the Propane man drove up in his big huge truck to make his delivery before we ran out of Propane. (I think we were really just excited to see a human who wasn't related to us)

By this afternoon...after Day 3 of being stuck inside with nowhere to go, we were more than just a little sick of each other. So my sister and her family came to visit. Then, in a desperate attempt to get out of my house, I convinced the Hubs that we needed some groceries. We piled in the car and slid to Kroger. I planned to spend $20 and would up spending $60. Ouch.

Our Thursday activities have been canceled for tomorrow due to the "inclement weather". So we'll be here again. Hopefully we'll get out and do something on Friday. When the temperature will actually be in the 40s.

40 degrees. That seems downright balmy right now.

Have I mentioned that I don't particularly like the snow?

Turning 30

As it turned out, I was worried for nothing. 30 was my best birthday yet. No depression. No anxiety. No silly gag gifts. Only a few "getting older" jokes. What I did get, on my birthday, was time with my family and some peace of mind. And some great gifts, too!

On my actual birthday, my family threw a joint party for myself and my niece Jaycee. She was six and I was....well. You know! I was dreading this party. I don't relish being the center of attention. But it was nice. I was loved on and spoiled. And my mom had Italian Cream cake. I spent time laughing with my aunts and my cousins. It was a good night. I don't have any pictures though. Bummer.

Tonight, I celebrated with my girlfriends. I had planned a GNO....a non-party. Just dinner and a movie with my favorite ladies. But, these awesome friends of mine conspired behind my back and treated me to the sweetest night I could imagine. Original poems. Fondest memories. Tears and laughter. Cards and gifts, too. Seriously, I will never forget it.



I am so, so blessed!