A Little Down Time

I haven't been writing very much lately, and I don't like that.  Life has been happening rather quickly these days and that doesn't leave me with a lot of down time.  I'm going to try to make at least two posts per week because I don't want to forget these days, crazy as they are.  

Presently, the house is quiet except for the  dishwasher and the ramblings of Drs. Stevens and O'Malley as background noise.  The soon-to-be one year old is napping and the Hubs just left with both boys for piano lessons and football practice.  Usually on Mondays we make a family outing of it...we hit Shaun's piano lesson, have a quick dinner, and then visit the library before Jordan has football practice.  I've been a little sick with a summer cold so I decided to stay home.  There are so many things I should be doing.  Like cleaning, folding up the mountain of clean laundry that has taken over the laundry room, or going over the boys lesson plans for the rest of the week.  Instead I'm on the couch, blogging, and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy.  I love it when I have a little down time!

School:  We started school a few weeks ago.  We're on Day 16 of our school year and it's going really well.  I feel like we're accomplishing so much.  Shaun has studied Carl Sandburg, Robert Frost, and we started reading The Jungle Book last week.  I'm surprised at how much I like it.  Shaun likes it too, he just won't admit it.  Ha!  His math is coming along as well.  Yay for Khan Academy! Spanish is something new Shaun is studying this year and I'm proud of how well he's catching on.  He's come so far since we began this homeschooling journey 4 years ago.  Back then he couldn't focus long enough to finish an assignment and now he pretty much can do everything on his own.  

Jordan is in second grade now.  His reading skills have exploded.  A few years ago, when he was in kindergarten I worried if he would ever learn to read.  A very wise woman told me to "let it rest" for awhile, and against my better judgement, I did.  That was the best thing I could have done for him.  He pretty much taught himself to read last year, in his own time.  When he was ready.  I should've known he wouldn't be rushed!  He's studied the poetry of De La Mare, Rosetti, and Mother Goose so far this year and we've been reading lots and lots of books.  It seems that he and his brother are opposites in that Math is really easy for Jordan.  But then, he struggles with spelling and grammar, which Shaun has always rocked out with.

Extras:  Shaun is still working hard at piano.  He gets better and better every week and has such a good ear.  He can play by ear, which makes him not want to practice.  I can relate because I was the same way when I took piano! Solution Choir started up again yesterday and then tomorrow is his first rehearsal with the North Georgia Children's Chorus.  We're really excited about this!  He's also helping out with Jordan's football team and he'll play basketball this winter and of course baseball in the spring.  

Jordan's playing football.  Honestly, I'm surprised that he's stuck with it.  It's intense!  But he loves it.  And he's good at it.  I'm so glad he found something to do because I worry that he gets lost in the shuffle sometimes.  Typical middle child issues.  I was not thrilled at all when we signed him up.  I hate football.  Or at least I thought I did until the first game on Saturday.  When I heard the words "tackle by Jordan Smith, number 1" over the loudspeaker I kind of turned into a crazy football mom.  He's also singing with Generation Praise again.  

Co-op starts up again in a few weeks and I'm glad we started our school year when we did.  It's always good to find our "groove" before our commitments begin.  

And me.  I'm just trying to keep up with everybody else!  

Say the Words!

I was at the park with the kids today when I had a "moment".  I glanced down at Violet, grinning up at me from her stroller as we watched the boys run around like crazy on the playground and was suddenly filled with gratitude that I am able to spend days with my kids.  No, it's not always easy and most days at some point I want to scream and pull my  hair out.  Those feelings aside, I am confident that I am living out what God has called me to do in regards to educating our children.  

I thought of Chris, who works really, really hard so that I don't have to work and we can keep the kids at home.  We may not live in a fancy house or have lots of material things.  We may have to sacrifice, but we have what we need and he works hard to provide for us.  And God whispered to me, "You should tell him!".  

It's not easy for me to share my feelings, but I did it anyway.  I sent him a text that read, "Thank you for working so hard so that I can stay home.  :)".

And right away he replied with, "Thank you for teaching my kids the right way."

Wow.  Of course, I cried.  

Four years ago we prayerfully made the decision to homeschool together.  I have never once doubted that we made the right decision for our family, the path God guided us toward.  Chris has never doubted, either.  But to hear those words of affirmation... it was so encouraging.  To know that he appreciates what I do at home the way I appreciate what he does at work.  I was walking on air the rest of the day.  

I write all of this to encourage my married friends to encourage your spouses!  I know, I know... my own marriage is far from perfect and I'm the last one who needs to be handing out unsolicited marriage advice, but I just could not believe how much hearing encouraging words from my husband made my day.  It made me want to be a better wife and it made me feel so close and connected to him.  This is the way we're supposed to feel toward each other, but most of the time life happens and we spend more time squabbling than speaking words of appreciation.  

I am so glad I listened to God today and took the time to send Chris that text. I think he blessed me more than I even thought about blessing him.  I hope he was encouraged, too. Everyone needs to feel appreciated and I am going to make an effort to speak encouraging words more often.  Lots more often!

Ice Day

It iced yesterday and the schools in our area were closed.  My kids heard about this on the news they decided that they should have an Ice Day too, and agreed.  

The Hubs had to go to work for awhile, but the kids snuggled up with blankets on the couch watching movies and playing XBox.  I did laundry and cleaned up the kitched and worked some more on my bedroom.  It hasn't been cleaned since Violet was born and the clothes are taking over.  We had Pumpkin Black Bean Soup and crescent rolls for lunch.  I read a lot.  I checked out a Dean Koontz novel from the library a few days ago and I finally got into it.  Now, I can't put it down.  

Chris finally made it home safe and sound from the elements.  He said the roads were quite icy, so we made plans to just not leave the house.  The boys spent the evening playing XBox with their daddy.  Did you know that it's Double X P weekend?  I have absolutely no idea what that means, but apparently it's important.  

Violet even got in on the action:

No one should be concerned... we were all right there beside her so she couldn't fall off the couch.  :)

I also made another one of those "thrown together because I didn't have a chance to get to the grocery store" meals.  Here's the recipe, if you think you can handle all the work! Ha!

Crock Pot Mexican Chicken and Rice

Ingredients:

4 Boneless chicken breasts, thawed

Salsa

Rice

Cheese

Sour Cream

Put chicken into the Crock Pot and dump a jar of salsa on top.  Set on low and go about your day.  

After 5 hours or so, mix it all up.  The chicken will be so tender it just breaks apart.  The end result looks like barbecue.  I added a little more salsa and continued to cook.  

When you're almost ready to eat, throw some instant rice on the stove.  When it's cooked, serve up the rice and top it with the chicken mixture.  Top everything with a sprinkle of cheese and a dollop of sour cream.  In a perfect world, I would have added some canned black beans, but we were all out.  I served this dish with green peas and it was so good. My kids and The Hubs all had seconds and it really filled us up.  

I don't know if you can actually call this a "recipe" but I will definitely be making it again.  I'm eating leftovers for lunch as I type and it tastes even better!

Shaun's basketball game was canceled this morning and we all slept in, which was much needed.  Shaun is the only one of us who's an early riser.  I think he woke up around 6:00.  

Someone is turning 7 years old on Monday, so I hope to go get his present later.

3

Superfudge by:  Judy Blume


Truthfully, Shaun read most of this one.  I "made" him read it for school while I listened and asked questions after each chapter.  I loved it so much that I had to list it here.  

I've been a fan of Fudge and his brother Peter since my teacher, the wonderful Mrs. Westmorland, introduced them to me in fourth grade.  When Shaun was in 4th grade, we read Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.  He's always been able to identify with Peter. Back then, he and Peter had the same "biggest problem"...their little brothers!  Now that Shaun and Peter are in 6th grade, the similarities continue as the Hatcher brothers adjust to the arrival of their new baby sister.  Weirdly, I can also identify with some characters in this book:  the parents of Fudge and Peter.  I used to think Mrs. Hatcher was such a "Debby Downer" and now I see myself in her.  I'm not the only one.  Shaun actually told me that I reminded him of Peter's mother.  I'm getting old, I guess.  : /  

I loved, LOVED this book and so did Shaun.  We laughed and laughed as we read it.  Those are the best books... the ones that make you laugh out loud. I have absolutely nothing negative to say.  We've already been to the library to get the next one in the series.  

Smooth Sailing

Yesterday was one of those days that I used to dream about before we became a homeschooling family.  Everything went smoothly.  Everything was completed.  I felt like the boys actually learned something.  I was even able to sweep the kitchen floor.  The boys were SO glad to spend some time outside after all the rain we had last week.  Dinner was enjoyed by everyone and the Hubs even came home from work at a decent hour.  Days like that just don't happen often around here.  

Today was good, too.  The kids and I, along with two of my nieces, went to lunch before co-op. It was me plus 5 kids in a restaurant and everyone behaved!  Everyone enjoyed their day at school and then we all headed to Hamilton Mill for Shaun's appointment.  Long story short, the appointment didn't happen and we drove all the way out there for nothing.  Oh well. It was still a good day.  I'm so thankful that I'm able to stay home with my children.  They're so precious to me. 

Back to School

School "officially" began for us again today. Or technically it began yesterday.  It's almost 1:00 a.m. as I type this.  

Co-op was back in session.  Lots of changes, all of them for the better.  Shaun really enjoyed his classes.  He's taking a dissection class and a class on the Titanic.  He seems excited about both.  We will all go on a field trip to the Titanic exhibit at Atlantic Station this spring.  I'm really excited about that!  I think Shaun had a good day.  He even read aloud in front of the class.    

Violet and I spent the afternoon in the baby class.  Every parent now has to stay with her own baby, so we had plenty of help in there!  

Jordan had a little  bit of trouble.  In PE of all things.  Apparently Ms. Jessica is a slave driver and Jordan does not know how to do sit-ups. :)

  Chris found him in the bathroom crying about it.  Sigh.  He does this every time he has to learn something new.  The first time he went roller skating, he threw his skates down and informed everyone at the rink that skating was stupid.  All this because he couldn't skate with the wind without practicing first. The same thing happened with the sit-ups today.  I'm not sure what to do about it.  At least  he didn't scream that sit-ups were stupid!

We practiced them when we got home tonight and now he knows what he's doing.  I just pray that he shows his teacher what he can do next week.  

Job 21:22

I'm glad I had this verse to fall back on this week.  What a week.  

Co-op started back up again today.  I was in a sour, discouraged state and honestly just didn't want to be there.  But, I sucked it up and went inside and tried to act as though everything was great.  I really didn't want to be around all of the other mothers with their perkiness and their praise reports.  I know.  That's mean.  

Our group leader said something I so needed to hear during announcements.  She had been reading a devotional meant to encourage us during the fast (I missed most of it because Jordan had to go to the bathroom)and she pointed out that most of the time she or someone in her family is hit with a struggle whenever they are involved in a fast.  She went on to say that this was usually just Satan himself trying to break them down before they got their break through.  

Yes, I really needed to hear that.  

We had some unexpected news in our own little family this week.  Smack in the middle of our fast.  As usual.  I've almost come to expect it.  But still, it feels like a low blow.  I got mad, screamed "why", and then wallowed in a funk before I even remembered that it's not my place to tell God how to run His affairs.  It seems like I'm always needing reminders of this!  

And so, we'll keep on keepin' on.  Even if we don't feel like it.  We'll wait on God to give us answers and healing in His own time.  We will focus on being content and remember all of the times when God has shown out for us in the past.  We'll give our future, and the futures of our kids, to God and wait patiently until we finally see the end of our story. 

At the end of the day, I was glad that I went on to co-op.  I tend to close myself off a lot of the time- a sure way to feed depression.  I had a "therapy session" in the baby class.  Surrounded by my sisters in Christ, I was encouraged and we laughed a lot.  It's always so good to laugh!  God also brought a new friend into my life today.  I was once again reminded that He knows what we need, when we need it.  

Pulled Over

Last week, as we were on our way to the post office for the first field trip of the school year, the Hubs got pulled over.  We were driving along at the speed limit, minding our own business, and then BOOM!  Flashing blue lights.  

"I wonder why I'm getting pulled over?" wondered Chris.  "I wasn't speeding."

"He probably could tell that you were on your cell phone", I snarked.  This had been a sore subject with us for days.  I can't stand the way he messes with his cell phone while he drives.  Everybody knows it's dangerous.  I've told him it's dangerous.  But he never listens.  

Anyway, we get pulled over.  Mr. Policeman comes to the window.  He asks where we're going in an extremely nice way.  The Hubs informs him that we're on the way to a field trip.  I notice Mr.  Policeman looking at the book I was reading, which happened to be sitting in the console.  Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire Hunter.  Unfortunately, it was back side up, with the picture of Honest Abe holding the head of a vampire in one hand and a bloody axe in the other.  For a moment I wonder if I should flip it over, but then I remember that we have more important matters to attend to.  

Mr. Policeman tells tells us that Chris had come close to the yellow line while going around a curve and he just wanted to make sure his blood sugar wasn't too low or anything.  

???

That's really what he said!

Then he looks at my husband and asks, "When's the last time you had something to drink?"

I almost laughed out loud, but managed to control myself as Chris said, "You mean alcohol?  I don't drink!"

Mr.  Policeman just looks at him and says skeptically, "You mean to tell me that you've never had a drink in your life?"

"Not since high school."

Policeman:  "Okay, well, can I see your license?"

He takes the license and goes back to his own car.  I look at Chris and burst into laughter.  "Bwahahaha!  He thinks you're drunk!"  The idea of it was so ridiculous, it was funny.  We don't drink alcohol.  Ever.  The last time I had anything alcoholic to drink was literally ten years ago, and even longer for Chris.  

The policeman comes back to the car and asks Chris to step outside.  I'm still giggling, thinking I'm going to have to watch my husband walk the yellow line, when Jordan pipes up in a scared voice, "Mom.  Is dad drunk?"  I do my best to calm his fears and assure him that his daddy doesn't drink and, therefore, cannot be drunk- just a bad driver. 

Chris comes back, get's in the car, and drives off.  Of course, I beg to know what happened and this is what I find out:

Right after we left the house, a little old lady passed us on a double yellow line.  Said lady had the nerve to flag down the policeman and tell him that we were driving "crazy".  Let me repeat that... a driver who passed us on a double yellow line, in a school zone, turned us in for crappy driving.  The hubs said that when he brought up this fact, the policeman burst out laughing and explained that he didn't know anything about that, but that he had to check the situation out.  He also said that he made Chris get out of the car because he didn't want to accuse him of drinking in front of his family.  Except that he already had done that!  

What a weird start to our day.  One good thing is that I haven't seen the Hubs driving with his phone in his hand since.  Another good thing:  I'm still laughing about it!

sam and pam

Today was another one of those hectic days. One of my nieces had an appointment, so the other two came to stay at our house. My sister got caught up in town and the girls wound up staying with us a lot longer than we had planned. Not really a big deal, but it didn't leave any time for school work. Before they came over, the boys completed one assignment each... Jordan did phonics and Shaun some math. But that was it.

After dinner I told the kids that they would have to finish some more work before bed. Shaun did his reading and spelling and Jordan finished his math. Shaun did really, really well with his reading tonight. Maybe we should do it in the evening every day? I'm not sure what that was all about, but he was more focused than he's been in a long time and he was able to read his entire selection with just 2 helps from me... and he knew all the answers to the questions without having to go back and look anything up. I was proud, to say the least.

Jordan's reading is also coming along. I took a good friend's advice and started Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons with him a few months ago. I was surprised at first, because it turned out to be the same method Shaun's teachers used to help him learn to read in kindergarten. It looks really strange, but it works. Here's a sample page I found online:


I figured that if it worked for Shaun, it would also work for Jordan. I seem to be correct so far. The lessons are short, which always works best for my children and contain lots of review. Jordan has responded really well. He read his first book a few weeks ago, which was really exciting- even if the pages each contained only one word.

The other day I was boxing up all of the K12 stuff I need to ship back and going through all of the materials that I get to keep. I found a whole set of paperback phonics readers that are mine to keep. I browsed through them and thought I'd give them a try, even though Jordan might not be quite ready yet. And then tonight, Jordan and I curled up in my bed and he read aloud the riveting story of "Sam and Pam at Bat". This is the first "chapter" of the level one phonics reader. He worked so hard and was so proud of himself. And of course I was proud, too. Even when he stumbled, he kept at it with fierce determination and when he was finished he looked up at me, grinned from ear to ear and said, "I'm good at reading now!".

We called Shaun in so that Jordan could show off his new skill. And then something happened that I never dreamed would take place: my children began fighting over who was going to read a story to me first.

Voluntary reading time. Not something that happens every day around here.

why I'm thankful, day 9

I gave Shaun a writing assignment today. A standard creative writing exercise that required him to brainstorm some topics, pick the one he wanted to write about, and then create an "idea web" so that tomorrow he'll be ready to write a paper.

I wanted him to do this by himself. He wasn't happy about that. Like most boys, Shaun doesn't like to do anything that requires him to sit still and think- but I made him do it anyway. His brainstorming list included pirates, XBox, God, and... something else. Star Wars, I think.

He chose to write about God. Heaving a huge sigh, he wrote GOD in big capitol letters and then started listing the main points for his idea web. He sat at the dining room table while he did so, while I got lunch ready in the kitchen. As usual, I walked by to check to make sure he was staying on track. He asked if I wanted to see what he'd come up with so far, and of course I said yes.

I looked at his paper and felt like shouting... his first main point about God was simply: He Wins.

Oh, how true this is. And how encouraging to know that my kid knows that God wins.

You see, I've been a little panicked lately. Lots of things are happening in our family. How many of you know that I don't do change well? And to top it off, I can practically feel Satan trying to beat down our door. I really hate it when he does that.

But, at the end of the day... GOD WINS. He's got this. As we sang in church tonight, "He holds it all together". How thankful I am for this truth, and that my Lord used Shaun to remind me.

what I'm thankful for, day 5

Today I am thankful for the Gladiator Reading Program. So are the kids. Reading three books earned them free tickets to a hockey game. We all had a great time.

We homeschooling moms have to stick together.


He was trying to decide which team to cheer for.



Sweet Shaun.

why I'm thankful, day 4

Today I'm thankful for my husband. When I said I'd marry him 13 years ago, he said he'd always make me laugh. And he has. Even during the rough times, at the end of the day, he can always find some way to make me smile. He keeps me grounded. He challenges my faith by refusing to worry. He is our family's spiritual leader. While I may be the kids' academic teacher, Chris teaches them the really important things- to love the Lord, to serve Him, and to worship.

He works very hard to make sure our family has what we need. He is faithful. He prays over us and he anoints my head with oil while I sleep when my depression gets the better of me.

We balance each other out nicely...his exuberant zest for life is the perfect compliment to my quiet awkwardness... and vice versa.

God was looking out for me even during my rebellious teenage years when he allowed our paths to cross. He knew what I'd need in a life partner. My Abba Father even used my boyfriend to introduce us way back then. I love that God has a sense of humor!

Here he is. The man I married. I think this picture captures his personality perfectly. I'm so thankful for him!

why I'm thankful, day 2

Today I'm thankful that I was able to sit on the couch with this little boy while he read his first book to me.

mpn

Mom's Night Out was a little different this month. We painted, which made the night Mom's Paint Night instead of the regular old MNO. Despite the facts that I'm not artistic at all and my projects are usually a disaster, (anyone remember this night?)I had a blast. I think we all did.

Our instructor has taught Shaun's art classes for about a year now, and she's fabulous. She has a way of drawing a person's creativity out and she was able to relate each of our paintings to each of our lives. While we were painting, we were supposed to write down scriptures and words as the Lord gave them to us. Except I was too busy concentrating and giggling to do this. Bad, I know. The whole point of this project was to meditate as we painted and allow God to speak to us as He saw fit. I just couldn't do much meditating. I was too worried about messing my painting up. Maybe next time I'll be able to relax and just let what happens, happen. Several of the ladies present were able to meditate and can I just say that the Lord really had some good words for them. I was blessed by what everyone had to say. And of course, I cried. Did you know that I'm a crier?

One thing I like about Mrs. Lynn is the way she presents each completed project to the class and discusses what she sees in each of them. Or rather, what the Lord allows her to see. She's pretty right on most of the time. When it was my turn, she held up my painting, paused a bit, and then said, "I see the shield of faith". Wow. She went on to talk about how maybe bad things happen and they bounce off the shield. I don't know how true that is of me currently, but that's what I strive for. To have complete faith that everything's going to be alright. To completely trust in my Father that he's got this...whatever this is at the moment.


If you can't tell from the photo, our paintings say FAITH, with a mustard seed dotting the "i". I love each woman in this picture. We all have our stories. Times in our lives when our faith was tested. Times we've failed and succeeded. And times when our faith is where it should be. We're all strong but still have moments when we're weak, and we're not afraid to admit that. I'm so blessed to have these ladies in my life. Their testimonies and stories of faith have each had an effect on my life. I think I've written before about how God really new what he was doing when we began to homeschool the boys. He knew I needed friends.

There's just something sweet about a friend who shares your faith.

another little God thing

Our little family got together with our friends the Haag's yesterday to collect cans for His Harvest House, our church's food pantry ministry. We met in their subdivision. The dads pushed a wheel barrel, the kids went door to door asking for food donations, and Kendra and I watched to make sure no one was kidnapped. They did really well. I was proud of them all... even if Jordan had to be reminded constantly to stop peeking in windows. Sigh.

Here are some pictures from our day.




One gentleman didn't have any cans... so he donated cash instead!

This was what we had at the end of the street. Not too shabby!

The whole gang, minus most of the adults.

The best part of the day occurred at the last house we visited. Kendra summed it up beautifully in this email she sent out to our homeschool group:

"Today we had a Can Food Drive Collection Day on the HSC calendar. The Smiths (Chris, Erin, Shaun and Jordan) joined my family this morning to collect cans in my neighborhood. We step out of our driveway and I tell the kids to practice their speech by going to our friends' house across the street. While Brandon, Chris, Erin and I stayed on the road watching them ring the door bell a lady walks by with her dog and recognizes Chris from the hospital. He tells her what we are doing, and she said to be sure to come to her house. Because of this invitation we turned right instead of our preplanned left and worked our way up to the top of the street. We get to the last house, the kids are at the door and the man who answered the door doesn't understand what they are asking. So I walked up to explain to him we were doing a can food drive and then it was like "oh... ok." He then proceeded to tell me that his mind is foggy because his 21 year old son, a police officer, was killed last week in a motorcycle accident on 985. Long story short, Chris and Brandon were able to pray with him and we just stood there and listened to him talk about his son for about 35 minutes. He thanked us and told us that God sent us to him at this time.

Had we not been collecting cans on this day... Had Chris Smith not been with us... for one of my neighbors to recognize... and invite us to her side of the neighborhood... which caused us to change our plan... WOW... I just stand amazed how God carefully orchestrated today for the sake of this one man and his family. Every person mentioned played a part to send God's Love to a broken and grieving man, to hug him, cry with him and pray for him! I'm so honored to have been a witness to Him at work through us, even we least expect it."

Wow. Just... wow. We were trying to teach our kids about compassion, and they wound up learning a lot more. I'm so glad that God worked it out so that this family could be loved on and ministered to, and I'm honored that He used us to do it.

who am i?

Anyone who's been around me at all lately knows that I've been a nervous wreck since the second week in August. That's when the school year began. We had enrolled Jordan in the K12 program. For those who don't know, it's basically public school that's taught at home. I thought this program was best for several reasons:

1. It's free. 'Nough said.

2. It's structured. I thought we needed this for Jordan, my little wild man.

3. It's all prepared for you. No coming up with lesson plans... just follow the lesson guides.

4. I was (am) terrified of making colossal mistakes when teaching Jordan to read. I didn't have to worry about this with Shaun. We didn't begin homeschooling until Shaun was in 3rd grade... most of the core stuff was already covered. Jordan, however, is a "fresh slate". There's sooo many ways I can mess him up.

K12 seemed like a good idea in theory. And so I signed him up. Even though my close friend had quit the program cold-turkey during the middle of last year because it was so stressful and required so much busy-work. And even though this is indeed a public school program... and I had basically sworn off public school after Shaun's experience. And even though I adore the year-round school schedule we adopted with Shaun. And even though I hate answering to "the man". My self-doubt got the best of me.

On our first day of school, we were still doing schoolwork at 9:00 pm. Yuck. But I stuck with it. I figured we just hadn't found our groove yet. But really, the more I tried, the more Jordan resented it. He, like his big brother, needs short and to-the-point lessons. He doesn't need to go over the same skill 4 times in one math lesson. He becomes bored extremely easily. Phonics was the worst. It was painful.

With K12, each child is required to do most of the assignments. Some assignments are optional, but for the most part everything is required. And the fact is that my child simply cannot sit though all of that busy-work. After he's had his fill, his brain shuts off and trying to keep going is pointless. I can't tell you how many times I've pulled up his lessons on the computer only to hear him whine "Oh, not (shapes, m's, AABB patterns, etc) again!"

I began to get so frustrated with him. I can't tell you how many times I asked him, "Why can't you just sit still and finish this?" This is complete Deja vu from Shaun's kindergarten homework. Then one day, Jordan walked into the school room where I was straightening up the bookshelf. He looked at all of his materials and said, "I like doing school, I'm just not good at it." Oh, ouch. That hurt my heart. Wasn't this the kind of self-esteem crushing thing we were trying to avoiding by homeschooling in the first place?

The thing is, he is good at it. It's just that he doesn't need to do so much of it. And I'll tell a little secret. Some of that work that he was required to do? I lied and said he did it even when he didn't. And he still aced all of his tests. So there. :)

Anyway, after he said those pitiful words, I immediately gathered him up in my arms and told him exactly how good he was at doing his school work. And then I sent both kids outside to play so that I could meditate about what to do. As I watched them zoom around the yard on their bikes and scooters, I heard from God. "I made them this way. Who are you to try to change who they're meant to be?" I love it when He's direct and to the point, don't you? It reminded me of another time He spoke to me clearly. I blogged about it here.

That was 2 weeks ago. We went on vacation last week and Chris and I took that time to pray about what to do. And tonight, I withdrew him from the K12 program. I feel as free as a bird. I had ordered a new phonics program from Amazon a few weeks ago, and we'll start it tomorrow. I had also purchased Math U See for kindergarten last spring. Between that and the classes he takes at co op, he should be covered. And I won't have to worry about logging hours or forgetting to enter in his attendance every night.

As for my self-doubt... it's still there. Not as prevalent as before, but it's still hanging around. God has brought some "seasoned" homeschooling moms into my life lately and they've been such a source of encouragement. It's nice to hear some needed advice about curriculum and what not. I was talking to a friend at church today and she said, "One good thing about homeschooling... it keeps you praying!" How true. God has led us down this journey, and I know He'll give me the knowledge and ability to teach my children everything they need to know. His promises to us are Yes and Amen. I only wish I wouldn't forget that all of the time.

harvest moon

Jordan and I read Theme in Yellow by Carl Sandburg for a Language Arts lesson on Monday. He really liked it a lot. It turns out that Autumn is his favorite season, as it is mine.

Later on that night, we went to my parents' house for one last swim before the pool is closed up for the season. The water was really too chilly to swim, so the kids didn't stay in for very long. For once, fall seems to be coming early in Georgia. We looked up at the sky and saw a Harvest Moon. Just like the one we read about earlier.

I called Jordan and told him to look up at the Harvest Moon. He was amazed. He watched it for quite some time.

THEME IN YELLOW

I SPOT the hills
With yellow balls in autumn.
I light the prairie cornfields
Orange and tawny gold clusters
And I am called pumpkins.
On the last of October
When dusk is fallen
Children join hands
And circle round me
Singing ghost songs
And love to the harvest moon;
I am a jack-o'-lantern
With terrible teeth
And the children know
I am fooling.

Carl Sandburg

Here is Jordan and his Harvest Moon. Cousin Micah is also checking it out. The moon was beautiful that night... this picture really doesn't do it any justice. I love it when God gives me such nice visual aids!

quoted

Shaun always surprises me. I get all anxious and nervous about teaching him a new skill, and it's all for nothing. Like in math this week. We were learning the 9 multiplication facts.

Honestly... I still don't know all of my 9's. I had to give myself a refresher course before we started, and it didn't do much good. I'm not the smartest at math.

But, Shaun picked up his 9's very quickly. Much more quickly than I ever anticipated. We started on Tuesday. We watched his Math U See video together and went over some flash cards before getting started on lesson 1. And he finished his worksheet in about 5 minutes. And it was all correct. And I asked if he was cheating. He wasn't.

After I was finished bragging on him, he looked up at me and said, "Yeah, I think you really taught me something this time."

This made me laugh so hard. But then I thought... what does he think I'm doing every other time we have school? Ha ha! I'm glad he felt confident enough to realize he learned something.

new girl gets out of her comfort zone

I stepped out of my comfort zone Monday night. It was MNO for the co-op. The new co-op my family joined last month. I'm the new girl. Okay, I'm not the only new girl, but I'm one of them. This is not easy for me. I love people, but I don't really make friends easily. People who are close to me usually don't believe this, but I'm shy and quiet around people I'm not familiar with. It takes me a little while to get warmed up. I am NOT comfortable around new people. At all.

So, joining this new co-op was hard. We were part of a wonderful co-op last year at our church. Most of my friends were members. I had a support system. So did my kids. We were comfortable. Then, I heard about this other co-op which is only five minutes away from our house. This co-op has been around for a few years. It's bigger, more diverse, and offers more classes that the boys really need.

I agonized over this for weeks. I prayed a lot and talked it over with Chris. We both agreed that we should favor what's best for the kids' education over where we would be most comfortable. So, we switched.

I was worried that the people there wouldn't be nice. I worried about not fitting in and about the kids being unhappy without their old co-op friends. Mainly, I just wanted us all to fit in. Isn't that what everyone wants? To fit in and be accepted?

Turns out I was worried for nothing. This place is crawling with niceness. Seriously... everyone's nice. And inviting and I've felt so welcomed. But still, it was hard for me to commit to meeting some of these ladies for dinner. Especially when I found out my sister couldn't go. I like to hide behind my little sister sometimes.

But I bit my lip and went anyway, even though it was pouring down rain and our area was under a tornado watch. I'm so glad I did. Even though we had to go to four different restaurants because the first three were either crowded, already closed, or closing in 15 minutes due to Labor Day. We finally got settled in at Out Back and I had a really good time. We laughed and cried. Those are the marks of a really good evening.

And yes. At the end of the night, I felt like I fit in. Still the "new girl", but not an outsider. It's a nice feeling.

Here's to getting out of my comfort zone. Maybe I should try it more often.

musical rooms

Life has been hectic lately. We're still trying to find our "groove" for this year. Shaun is doing really, really well in school. Jordan is too... when he can make himself sit down and do it. Have I mentioned that I don't think his curriculum is working out for him? That's a whole 'nother post.

Anyway. Life is hard right now. New co-op. New school year. It is so much harder for me to home school 2 children than it was to home school 1. I'm not sure why I didn't think of this before. I don't think we made the wrong decision. I just haven't gotten used to this yet.

I've spent the past few weeks barely getting by. At the end of the day, I'm spent. I hadn't checked my email in about a month because I just didn't have time. I peeked into my inbox the other day and saw that I had 500 messages. Instead of reading them all, I opted to just delete everything and start over. I feel good about this decision. I went to the grocery store yesterday, for the first time in 3 weeks. I didn't wait so long because we had no money, I just didn't have time. So we've been eating out a lot. I found "Crock Pot Girls" on Facebook and loaded up on crock pot dish ideas for the next 2 weeks. It's nice to have food in the house again.

Clutter has taken over. The Hubs finally had enough and declared today a work day. He took a load of our old, unused stuff off to the dump. Said we needed to have a place for everything and to keep everything in it's place. We rearranged some rooms. The old school room is now his computer room. Jordan's old bedroom is now the new school room. I'm in here now. It's quiet, down the hall from the living room and out of the way. I can see this room becoming my reading room as well.

We moved some of the boys "louder" toys downstairs. That way, they can play without annoying everyone and we can also get a break from each other during the day. My kids and I love each other, but breaks are often needed.

There's still a lot to do, but I can breath now. Breathing is nice.