The Last...

For the past few days, I've been playing a new game.  Its called "The Last".  Everything I do, I think to myself, "This is the last time I'll __________ until the baby comes".

Such as:

The last time I'll go to the grocery store.  

The last time I fill the car up with gas. 

The last day I have with the boys all by myself.  

The last doctor's appointment.

The last time I get to have a "sleep in" morning.

The last time I go to church.  

The last time I watch "Twilight". 

You get the idea.  

Its kind of sad.  A lot of sad, actually!  Things are going to be so different!  I'm worried about not being able to pay each kid the same amount of attention.  Chris and I will be outnumbered!  I don't want anyone to feel unloved or left out.  It will be interesting to see how this all plays out, that's for sure.  

Tonight I'll be playing a big game of "The Last".  On the agenda:

The last time we go to church as a family of 4.

The time I go to sleep at night pregnant. 

The last time I kiss my two boys goodnight before they become big brothers. 

The last night I spend as the only female in the family.

The last night I spend before my husband and I have a daughter.

Big stuff.  

37 Weeks

I hit 37 weeks on Thursday.  Something happened that I wasn't expecting.  I woke up terrified.  I was 37 weeks pregnant with Jordan when he started having issues.  If I hadn't been at the doctor's office at the right time, who knows what would have happened.  But I was, and everything turned out fine.  I know the fact that I'm 37 weeks today doesn't mean that something's going to go wrong now.  My heart knows that God has everything under control,  but like I told some of my close friends today, my head just won't stop thinking!  I asked several of my friends and family members to pray for me to have peace today.  I only have one more week to be pregnant and I want to enjoy it.  I don't want to spend it being a total neurotic basket case.  

I felt the prayers that were prayed for me that day.  I love it when that happens!  By lunchtime I was calm and collected and the boys and I enjoyed our day.  I had to take them with me to my ultrasound appointment today because all of my babysitters flaked out on me.  Ha ha!  Really, my sister (who is my number one sitter) had to take my niece to Atlanta for a doctors appointment.  My grandmother was watching her other three kids and Chris had to work.  Children are allowed at Dr Allaire's office, so I just took the boys with me.  

At first they wanted no part of it, but I bribed them with a Mellow Mushroom lunch.  After that, it was smooth sailing.

Thank goodness for the Nintendo DS.  They had something to do while we waited.

Once the ultrasound started, the first thing the tech said to me was, "Oh, look.  Baby's practicing her breathing!"

This was such a God-thing,  because one of the reasons we knew something was up with Jordan was because he wasn't breathing at all during his last ultrasound.  God knew what I needed to hear to ease my mind.  We also found out that Violet is weighing in at about 8 pounds, 6 ounces.  Woah.  She's already passed Jordan's birthweight and she's only two ounces behind Shaun's.  And her "real" due date isn't even for 3 more weeks!  I guess we don't have to worry about my high blood pressure restricting her growth!  

Shaun was really interested in the ultrasound, which was a far, FAR cry from the way he felt the last time he went with me!  He couldn't get over the size of his sister's head, which I admit did look quite large.  Thank goodness for c-sections!

Only 5 days left.  To say that we're excited is an understatement.  I'm not sure if they boys are more excited about having seeing their sister or about not having a pregnant mother anymore.  :)

I took this picture yesterday.  The kids and I went to work with Chris and I was listening to his sermon backstage.  

I'm beginning to develop an Instagram addiction.  

Together Again!

My friend Elissa was in town this week.  I haven't seen her since she moved away last November.  I was so excited to see her again! You know you have a true friend when you can go almost a year without seeing each other and then you're able to pick right up where you left off.  

We met up in Buford and may or may not have bought matching purses.  That's really  not as dorky as it sounds since we don't live in the same state anymore. No one will ever see us with our purses!  She also spoiled Violet a little bit.  

Funny story:

A few weeks ago I was in Target with my mom.  I saw the cutest little baby girl outfit involving a skull t-shirt paired with a black tutu.  To clarify, the skull was very feminine and even had a pink bow on it.  I fell in love with that outfit but wondered how other people would feel about it.  I knew my mom would give it a big "No!" so I turned to a friend who just happened to be there in the infant section.  I asked her if she'd let her own baby girl wear it, and she shot me down.  Undeterred, I spotted another woman in the baby section.  This particular woman was pierced, tattooed, and was wearing a Metallica t-shirt.  "Excuse me," I said.  "Would you let your baby wear this outfit?"

"Um... no.  I wouldn't".

I was really surprised, but I took that as a sign that I shouldn't dress Violet in that shirt, even though I loved it.  So I picked something else.  When I met Elissa at Target on Tuesday, she handed me a pink bag.  Inside was... the pink skull outfit.  I was so excited!  I can't wait to see Violet in it.  Elissa said she  had to get it because "It's so Erin".  Ha! She also painted the sweetest picture for Violet's room.  It matches perfectly.  I'll post a picture soon.

We met another friend, Glenda then and the three of us had lunch at Mimi's and then I paid my first visit to Charming Charlie's.  Wow, am I hooked on that store now!  They were having a BOGO sale, so I scored a necklace and a headband for less than 5 dollars.  

Here we are outside at the mall.  Apparently it was purple day.  I didn't realize how big I'd gotten until I saw this picture!

I wanted to post a picture with Glenda, but she won't allow it.  :(

I was really, really tired after that and Chris and the kids weren't due to be out of the movies for a few more hours, so we just went back to Elissa's hotel room so I could rest.  I'm no fun anymore, but she was nice enough to not say so.  

It was really good to get to talk and catch up on each other's lives.  Have I mentioned how much I've missed her?

I'm so thankful that God blessed me with her friendship.  

Pulled Over

Last week, as we were on our way to the post office for the first field trip of the school year, the Hubs got pulled over.  We were driving along at the speed limit, minding our own business, and then BOOM!  Flashing blue lights.  

"I wonder why I'm getting pulled over?" wondered Chris.  "I wasn't speeding."

"He probably could tell that you were on your cell phone", I snarked.  This had been a sore subject with us for days.  I can't stand the way he messes with his cell phone while he drives.  Everybody knows it's dangerous.  I've told him it's dangerous.  But he never listens.  

Anyway, we get pulled over.  Mr. Policeman comes to the window.  He asks where we're going in an extremely nice way.  The Hubs informs him that we're on the way to a field trip.  I notice Mr.  Policeman looking at the book I was reading, which happened to be sitting in the console.  Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire Hunter.  Unfortunately, it was back side up, with the picture of Honest Abe holding the head of a vampire in one hand and a bloody axe in the other.  For a moment I wonder if I should flip it over, but then I remember that we have more important matters to attend to.  

Mr. Policeman tells tells us that Chris had come close to the yellow line while going around a curve and he just wanted to make sure his blood sugar wasn't too low or anything.  

???

That's really what he said!

Then he looks at my husband and asks, "When's the last time you had something to drink?"

I almost laughed out loud, but managed to control myself as Chris said, "You mean alcohol?  I don't drink!"

Mr.  Policeman just looks at him and says skeptically, "You mean to tell me that you've never had a drink in your life?"

"Not since high school."

Policeman:  "Okay, well, can I see your license?"

He takes the license and goes back to his own car.  I look at Chris and burst into laughter.  "Bwahahaha!  He thinks you're drunk!"  The idea of it was so ridiculous, it was funny.  We don't drink alcohol.  Ever.  The last time I had anything alcoholic to drink was literally ten years ago, and even longer for Chris.  

The policeman comes back to the car and asks Chris to step outside.  I'm still giggling, thinking I'm going to have to watch my husband walk the yellow line, when Jordan pipes up in a scared voice, "Mom.  Is dad drunk?"  I do my best to calm his fears and assure him that his daddy doesn't drink and, therefore, cannot be drunk- just a bad driver. 

Chris comes back, get's in the car, and drives off.  Of course, I beg to know what happened and this is what I find out:

Right after we left the house, a little old lady passed us on a double yellow line.  Said lady had the nerve to flag down the policeman and tell him that we were driving "crazy".  Let me repeat that... a driver who passed us on a double yellow line, in a school zone, turned us in for crappy driving.  The hubs said that when he brought up this fact, the policeman burst out laughing and explained that he didn't know anything about that, but that he had to check the situation out.  He also said that he made Chris get out of the car because he didn't want to accuse him of drinking in front of his family.  Except that he already had done that!  

What a weird start to our day.  One good thing is that I haven't seen the Hubs driving with his phone in his hand since.  Another good thing:  I'm still laughing about it!

Shameless Complaints...

Warning:  If complaining pregnant women annoy you, do yourself a favor.  Stop reading now.  Because I'm going to complain.

I'm in the homestretch of this pregnancy.  I can glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel.  It's very faint, but I can see it!  Up until this point, I've felt pretty good.  Don't get me wrong.  I've had the back aches and lack of sleep that are the norm for most third trimester pregnancies, but for the most part I can't complain.  

Until today.  

I've felt absolutely awful yesterday and today. I'm  hurting.  Seriously hurting in my back.  And my butt and the backs of my thighs.  I look like an 90 year old grandma when I walk.  At first this only happened in the mornings and a warm bath would cure it.  Now it's all day every day and the only thing a bath does is give me 15 minutes of peace and quiet.  Which is still nice!

Another thing that's bothering me:  my vagina.  It feels like it's falling out.  Constantly.  Again, this is a new thing.  I've always carried my babies low, but I've never hurt like this before.  Last week we learned that Violet already weighs 6 pounds and 13 ounces. And yesterday I saw my OBGYN and he confirmed that all sweet 6 pounds and 13 ounces of her are sitting right on my cervix.  His exact words were, "Wow, that little head is really down there.  You must be really uncomfortable".  Ha ha! 

I've also been having some contractions, I suppose of the Braxton-Hicks variety.  Kind of painful, but not painful enough to do any damage.  

What could do some damage, however, is how grouchy I've been.  I feel so sorry for the Hubs.  I've been so unreasonable and emotional.  He really can't do anything right.  Not really, but that's how it must seem.  I'm getting really overwhelmed with things that need to be done around the house and I'm hurting too badly to do much of anything that involves walking around and bending over.  

Have I mentioned all the tiredness?  This afternoon I was so tired that I fell asleep during Jordan's reading lesson. I dozed on and off for an hour and a half while the children entertained themselves.  I never do that!  The boys were good sports about it, though.  They played XBox and ate leftover macaroni while I napped.  

I think my stomach also grew by a couple inches last night.  Every t-shirt I own, including those belonging to Chris, are barely long enough to fit over my stomach. Oh, and my legs and ankles are swelling.  Nothing too bad, but I can tell a difference in the way my pants and shoes fit.  Nothing makes a girl feel attractive like having boot-cut jeans fit more like skinny jeans.   

I think I've covered everything now.  

I only have two more weeks left.  Technically, two weeks and two days. I really am so blessed. Sometimes I think about what we went through with her months and months ago, and I'm overwhelmed with what God has given to us.

Violet will be here before we know it.  Until then, we have these new pictures to look at.

She definitely has Shaun's nose!

  

Yes, she is worth every ounce of discomfort.  

Family of Four

Friday didn't go as planned.  We (The Hubs, the kids, and I) were supposed to go visit the school where Chris will be working on Fridays and then go bowling with some friends.  After that, I had big plans to go home and get off my feet.  

But it just didn't happen.  

I forgot to print off our free bowling coupons and it threw off our whole day.  I was upset at first, because I think this may have been the last week the kids will get to bowl for free.  But somewhere during the long drive to Bethlehem (that'd be Bethlehem, GA and not the birthplace of Jesus)I relaxed and began to enjoy the day.  I realized that we have precious few days left with "just the four of us" and today we threw our plans out the window and rolled with the punches.  

We did go visit the Christian school where Chris will be working on Fridays.  We met the teachers, staff, and students.  He's very excited about leading chapel with the kids each week and we are so thankful that God has opened this door for us.  

Next, we went to Buford to spend a Macy's gift card that one of my friends gave us for Violet.  We picked out two cute outfits and Chris insisted on getting a bib that reads, "Are these people seriously my relatives?".  Ha ha!  I wonder if Violet will really think that about us?

We window shopped for a little while and when we passed the Build-A-Bear Workshop, Shaun had the great idea to make a bear for Violet- a gift to her from her brothers.  It was the sweetest thing.  Both he and Jordan were given bears when they were babies and we still have them.  The boys agreed that Shaun could pick out the bear if Jordan could pick her outfit. Shaun wound up picking a monkey and both boys were able to put a heart inside.  

Shaun decided that the monkey's name should be VV.  Here he is, filling out her birth certificate.  

Jordan picked out the outfit, and I think he did a great job.  he had to have the "Kidpak shoes"!

I was so, SO proud of both of them that day.  They were so unselfish and didn't even ask for anything for themselves.  They were so excited and proud of themselves for doing something for their sister.  It almost made me cry!

We went to lunch at Chuck E. Cheese's after we left the mall.  It had been a long time since we'd been.  Jordan couldn't even remember the last time.  The pizza was still the same (not so great!) but the kids had a great time.  While we were waiting on our food and the kids were playing games, it really hit me that we only have a few days left with just the boys. I got so emotional and started crying!  Thankfully, I got a grip on myself and saved the family some embarrassment.  

I've been looking for crocheted flowers to clip on to Violet's hats and headbands ever since we found out we were having a girl.  My mom told me that Hobby Lobby carried them, but I detest craft stores.  Crafts are not my thing.  I looked for these flowers at Jo Anne's and Michael's but could never find them.  Since we were in Buford anyway,  decided to bite the bullet and visit Hobby Lobby.  I'm glad I did, because I found the flowers.  I can't wait for V to wear them!  

Twenty dollars worth of baby hair accessories later, we took the boys to Wal-Mart so that they could spend some of the money they've been earning.  Jordan picked a Magic 8 Ball and he's been asking it questions constantly. Shaun chose a Star Wars Legos alarm clock for their room.  

After Wal-Mart we were all so tired.  I had some things to take back to the outlet mall in Dawsonville, but Chris and the boys had had enough shopping.  So I called my Granny and asked her to go with me instead.  She was glad to go, but I needed a rest first, so I went home and took a nap.  We finally made it to the mall and I returned all of my stuff.  Then I went to the Converse store.  The last time we were there, Chris had wanted to buy Violet some pink Chuck Taylors.  I thought they were super expensive and impractical and talked him out of it.  Then, I felt bad.  I decided that every girl should have a pair of pink Chuckies from her Daddy.  So we came home with these:

I'm sure she'll wear them home from the hospital, and then when she outgrows them we'll put them in a shadowbox. 

I got back home to find that everyone was starving and that we had no food in the house.  It was late and I didn't have mental energy to compile a grocery list, so we left again to get some dinner.  The boys wanted Captain D's, so that's where we went.  We had a nice meal together and God blessed us with a beautiful lightening show on the way home.  

It was a good day.  Crazy and hectic, yes.  But good all the same.  We enjoyed being together and I was glad that the boys were able to do some fun things with us before their sister arrives and turns our lives upside down!  We want to do one more fun thing with them... maybe tubing or a water park.  It will have to be sometime soon, as we are running out of time.  :)

Bickering

My boys.  They've been fighting like cats and dogs.  I was getting so, SO tired of the constant picking, whining, tattling, and crying from both of them.  I really didn't think I could handle it much longer.  We'd tried all sorts of punishments:  giving time outs, taking away TV time and video games, spankings, separating them.  Nothing was working, so I tried something else.  

Lately when they start arguing for any reason, I make them complete a chore.  Together.  Without saying an unkind thing to each other. Or whining about having to work.  If this happens, they have to complete another chore. And another, if need be, until they can get along.  So far they've only had to do two chores at one time.  And usually they do get along better afterwards.  There's so much more peace in our house now!

Now, I know boys will be boys.  It's  normal for them to wrestle and punch and pick on each other.  To an extent.  It was just getting to a point where every 5 minutes World War III was breaking out.  Seriously.  They've gotten in knock-down drag outs over who has the most milk.  Or because one brother "lovingly" thumped the other one on the head for no reason.  We live in a small house, and things can happen when boys fight.  Windows can get broken.  Holes get punched in walls.  This can't be happening.  

So I implemented the chore rule.  I didn't invent said rule.  I think my friend Elissa told me about it a few years ago.  It's a win-win situation.  My sons are getting along better.  They're learning to control themselves.  And if they don't, my house is getting cleaned by people other than myself.  A few minutes ago, for example, both boys had to empty the dishwasher together because they were yelling at each other over who was supposed to be the "first player" on an XBox game.  Now, the dishwasher is empty and both boys are playing video games together like the BFFs brothers are meant to be.  

The next time an argument breaks out, I think they'll be scrubbing toilets.  

3 Weeks, 2 Days, and Some Catfish

We have a date!  My doctor's office called today and we scheduled my c-section.  Sweet, little Violet will be joining us on August 30th.  We're almost ready.  Her room is just about finished, the clothes are washed, car seat is in the car.  My bag still isn't packed, but it will be tomorrow.  My dad has had to pack my bag in the past because I've been sent to the hospital unexpectedly.  I don't want him to have to do it again.  One of my friends suggested that I pack the bag and leave it in the car.  That's what I plan to do. I want to be prepared this time!

My mom went with me to the doctor yesterday.  Violet was being stubborn.  The nurses had a hard time tracking her down for the non-stress test.  My blood pressure was also really high when I first came in, but went down a lot after I laid down for awhile.  The doctor seems to think I'm doing too much and ordered me to rest more.  It's hard- there's so much to do.  The funny thing is that my cousin, who is also pregnant, had the appointment right before me.  Her blood pressure is also high and the doctor commented that pregnancy-induced hyper-tension must run in our family. Sigh.  

After the appointment we ran some baby errands and I won't lie-  it wore me out.  I was so tired and sore after just a few places.  I decided I'd obey the doctor's orders and really hunker down and get more rest.  I've laid low today and really do feel so much better.  

While my mom and I were gone, my sister stayed home with all of our kids.  Luckily for her, my dad came home and took the three oldest kids fishing.  Here's a photo of the fishermen and their catch.

I foresee a fish fry in the family's near future.  

Today's To-Do List

Once again, I'm up way earlier than I need to be.  This is probably a good thing, since I have a ton of stuff that needs to get done today.  Such has:

 1.  Finish off the monstrous laundry pile.

 2.  Re-wash all of Violet's clothes put them away in her new (to us) dresser.

 3.  Find my black camisole.  It has disappeared!

 4.  Move Jordan's new (to him) dresser into the boys' room and fill it full of clothes.  

 5.  Go to my baby shower. :)

 6.  Clean up the kitchen.  

 7.  Get in bed at a decent hour.  

I suppose I should stop blogging about it and actually get started.  

Happy Saturday!

Second Glance

I had another ultrasound yesterday.  I posted this picture of Violet on Facebook:

My sister sent a text a few hours later asking me if I saw the other face in the picture.  I told her I didn't know what what she was talking about and she directed my attention to the space between Violet's head and her arm.  I took a second glance and saw it.  Can you?

I sent a text back that said, "OMG!  What is that?"  I was a little worried for a minute.  Could there really be 2 babies in there?  After all this time, could all the doctors have missed one?  I've since come to the conclusion that photographing babies in utero must be like photographing fires.  Sometimes the moving flames can appear to be faces.  Or in my case, sometimes movements in amniotic fluid can appear as a creepy face.   I hope.  

In other news, our appointment was great yesterday.  My blood pressure was... normal!  Can you believe it?  I was so thrilled.  If this keeps up, I will be able to carry Violet for 39 weeks.  She put on a show for her daddy and me- lots of squirms and wriggles and she was playing with her toes.  She stretched her toes apart just the way Shaun did when he was a baby.


He grinned a little when we told him.  I think he's more excited to have her here than I am!

One Last Thing...

...about the whole "gay/CFA thing".  Here it is:

One of the things that concerns me most about this Chik-Fil-A deal is that we Christians have a tendency to develop an "Us-Against-Them" mentality. As a believer, it is difficult to understand why this became such a media event. Somebody asked a committed Christian business owner about the opposition they have faced because they have supported the traditional family. He didn't bash anyone. He didn

't throw his critics under the bus. He simply stated what his beliefs were, which is a Constitutionally guaranteed right in America.

Suddenly, an interview in the Baptist Press became national news. He, and all Christians with him, are accused of hating gays. It is disorienting. When did disagreement become hatred? We feel accused, misrepresented, and vilified. Someone has twisted our faith into something that it is not.

That is where our danger lies. We are insulted and offended. They have made themselves our enemies. But Jesus predicted it would happen. And He told us how to respond.

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy." That is the temptation, isn't it? We Christians are going to band together and fight back against the enemies of the Christian faith. We will oppose them, out-talk them, vote them out, and push them under our feet, and get them in control. Wrong.

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." They may consider themselves our enemies, but we are not their enemies. They are our brothers and sisters that Jesus died for. They may not have accepted Him yet, but He doesn't love them any less than He loves us. He didn't die for them any less than He died for us.

No matter what they say about us, no matter what they do to us, our response should be clear: We love you. We are praying for you. We want to serve and bless you. You think our disagreement means hate. It doesn't. You may consider me your enemy, but I consider you my brother or sister. I want to help you get to the good and free life that Jesus died to give you. But I won't force you or manipulate you, because God could do that and even He won't. He respects your right to choose your path and so I will, too. But I will never stop loving you, serving you, and praying for you.

It is so easy to take on the offense of the world. They believe that either you agree with what they do, or you are their enemy. Then, they will accuse us of it and criticize us for it. But, again, God predicted this would happen. "The world is surprised when you don't join them in wild and reckless living, and so they insult you." (I Pet. 4:4) Peter goes on to say that, at the end of their life, they will face God and have to give an account for their life.

Some things to take away from that: Even God is not judging them, yet. They are not at the end of their story. He is still working with them and for them to bring them to repentance, in the same way He brought us to repentance. We are not saved because we are good. We are saved because we accepted the sacrifice Jesus made. We cannot say we are better than them. We were in the same sinking ship. Jesus has just rescued us from it. But the rescue mission is still going on!

Second: You are not permitted or qualified to inspect the books of Heaven. You don't know why they sin the way they do. You don;t know their story. You had a story. You sinned the way you sinned because of things that people did to you, the way you were raised, the choices that you made that scarred you for life. You still struggle with sins, thoughts, and attitudes because of the life you used to live. So, let God work on them the way He is working on you. Don't be a hindrance to them accepting Jesus. You represent Him. You are the Body of Christ. If you reject sinners, they are goig to think that God rejects them. The same God that sent His Son to die for them. Don't lie on God. He won't like it.

Third: If you rejoice that some "group" of "sinners" is going to be roasted in Hell, you need to get saved. Your heart is not right. God doesn't take any pleasure in the death of the wicked. If you do, you don't have the heart of God. If you don't have the heart of God, you don't get into Heaven. If you are not born from above, get a new heart from God, His heart, you don't get into Heaven, no matter how morally upright you live. Get over your self-righteousness. Jesus never blasted people over sexual sin. He invited them out of that life of bondage into a better life. But He certainly blasted self-righteous Pharisees. In fact, He specifically told the Pharisees that they wouldn't escape Hell because their religious behavior made a barrier to people trying to get to God. (Matt 23)

This country is becoming more and more divided every day. We must not get caught up in the spirit of the age. We must not start considering people who disagree with us morally or politically as "the enemy". The Enemy is the one who is trying to damn souls to Hell. The souls are the ones Jesus came to rescue. Let's be on Jesus' side and not the Devil's.

I wish I could take credit for writing this, but I can't.  Mark Mobley posted it on his Facebook wall this morning.  Pastor Mark was one of our School of Discipleship instructors.  He always gives me a fresh perspective that comes straight from the Lord.  You can follow him on twitter here.  

As I posted last night, I was hurt by my friend's decision to end our friendship because of my support for Chick-Fil-A.  A lot more hurt than I realized I would be.  The more I thought about it, the hurt turned into anger.  After all, don't all homosexuals preach tolerance?  Ending a friendship, even a Facebook friendship, over a difference of opinion isn't very tolerant.  Ugh.  

Then this morning, Pastor Mark posted this little gem and it put the whole thing back into perspective.  He said it better than I ever could.  

And now that I've shared it with you, I'm letting it go. 

Unfriended

I was just "unfriended" on Facebook by an old friend.  Said friend happens to be gay and he chose to discontinue our friendship because I support Chick-fil-a.  

Are you kidding me?  

I've known this guy since elementary school.  He was always one of the sweetest people I knew.  When I "found" him again on Facebook a few years ago it was apparent that he was still sweet, and a good person.  He's also gay.  This is not something I agree with.  For the record, in case anyone doesn't know, I believe that homosexuality is wrong.  According to my Bible, it's a sin.  Does this mean that I hate all the people who live this way?  No.  I'm not intolerant, unreasonable, or a bigot.  I do, however, have the right to believe the way I believe.  

I knew that my friend was gay the minute I viewed his profile.  I did not feel the need to dis-associate myself with him due to his sexual orientation.  He was still the sweet guy I knew from the school bus who would go out of his way to show kindness to everyone.  When he posted funny status updates, sometimes I would comment or give him a "like".  If he happened to post something I didn't agree with, I would let it go.  I never attacked him for his beliefs or showed any kind of negative reaction at all.  I could look beyond it because he was my friend.

And so, I was very surprised when, just minutes after I posted a status update in support of Chick-fil-a Appreciation Day he commented with: 

"This hurts my heart.  It was nice knowing you".


I deleted the comments, and now we're no longer Facebook friends.  And my heart is hurt just like his.