The Nutcracker

I have to post about this.  I just can't not write about it.  But be warned.  If you can't handle the possibility that my friends and I might be just a little bit immature and uncultured, read no further.  

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Okay, then.  This story really begins oh, maybe five years ago.  Approximately.  My mother decided that it would be fun for  my sister and I to take her daughters (she only had 2 of them back then!) to The Nutcracker.  Mom even bought our tickets for us.  Honestly, ballet is not my favorite thing in the world. But it was Christmas, and the tickets were free, and I even back then I loved spending time with my sister, so we went.  Somehow we wound up on the front row at Pearce Auditorium, just us two sisters and two small girls.  

The ballet began and everything was fine.  And then the male dancer came out.  I don't even know what the name of his character is...I told you ballet is not my favorite!  The main male dancer in The Nutcracker. He danced onto the stage and my eyes almost popped out of my head.  I glanced at my sister out of the corner of my eye and looked straight into her own wide eyes.  And it took everything we had not to giggle.  

That male dancer was not covered.  At all!  Skin tight pants (tights?  whatever they're called) and a short little shirt.  And his "business" was all up in our faces since we were on the front row.  Seriously, his outfit left nothing...nothing to the imagination.  I listened for other gasps of surprise and disbelief from other members of the audience, but apparently we were the only ones who noticed.  Or the only ones immature enough for this to be a distraction from the ballet.  

After the show, my nieces called my mom to tell her all about their first ballet experience.  My little niece Keri-lyn spoke first:  "We just went to see... the...the... The Nuts..."

And that was it.  My sister and I burst into peals of laughter that continued until our stomachs hurt.  Poor little thing was trying her hardest to remember the name of the ballet and we were not helping at all.  Ha ha ha!

I went home that night convinced that this was just normal ballet attire.  

The next year my sister-in-law won tickets to see The Atlanta Ballet's production of The Nutcracker at The Fox Theater.  The first thing I noticed was that the main male character kept  his private stuff private!  He still did the whole tights/pants thing but he also wore a long tunic-type shirt.  Nothing inappropriate or trashy here!  I went home that night convinced that the guy from last year's production back home in Gainesville had simply been the unfortunate victim of a wardrobe malfunction.  

Last week, we took a little homeschool field trip to Pearce Auditorium to see... yup.  You guessed it.  The Nutcracker.  One of our fellow homeschool kids was actually in this production, so we were really excited to go.  

Here's a shot of the kids before the show began. 

The ballet began, and everything was fine.  Until the main character came out.  My sister swears it was the same guy from our first Nutcracker experience.  And he was wearing the same outfit as before, only in white.  Once again, my eyes met those of my sister's and we muffled our snorts of laughter and tried to enjoy the show.  We didn't say anything to the kids about anyone's outfits and the kids didn't mention it to us, either.  

When we finally came home later that night, after having family pictures taken and Christmas play practice, The Hubs asked the boys how they liked the ballet.  

Jordan looked kind of funny and said, "Well.  There was this man.  And you could see his wiener.  And his butt, too".  

Chris just looked at me and I tried in vain not to burst into laughter again.  

Then Shaun spoke up:  "Oh yeah!  You could see everything.  And I was sitting beside my cousins.  And I was thinking, I can't believe that Jaycee is seeing this.  And Keri-lyn.  And LAYNA!!!"

Chris looked at me again and raised his eyebrows.  I admitted that maybe the guy should have had a little more clothing on.  And I felt bad and awkward that the only thing my kids took away from the ballet was an image of a scantily-clad man.  

Another group of friends were going to the same ballet the next day and I warned them!  They thought I was over-reacting at first but later on told me that they felt exactly the same way I did.  

Seriously?  Why'd the guy have to wear that?  Does he dance better with his stuff bouncing across the stage?  Us adults had some laughs but truthfully, a lot of our kids were uncomfortable.  

Some friends and I were talking at church yesterday (we were at Christmas rehearsal and had a ton of time to kill... lots of time to talk!)to a woman who's been involved in ballet for years and years.  She was shocked that any dancer would wear something like that, especially in white.  She even said that things like that were huge no-no's in her ballet circle.  And that we should send that ballet company a letter.  

What do you think?