Pulled Over

Last week, as we were on our way to the post office for the first field trip of the school year, the Hubs got pulled over.  We were driving along at the speed limit, minding our own business, and then BOOM!  Flashing blue lights.  

"I wonder why I'm getting pulled over?" wondered Chris.  "I wasn't speeding."

"He probably could tell that you were on your cell phone", I snarked.  This had been a sore subject with us for days.  I can't stand the way he messes with his cell phone while he drives.  Everybody knows it's dangerous.  I've told him it's dangerous.  But he never listens.  

Anyway, we get pulled over.  Mr. Policeman comes to the window.  He asks where we're going in an extremely nice way.  The Hubs informs him that we're on the way to a field trip.  I notice Mr.  Policeman looking at the book I was reading, which happened to be sitting in the console.  Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire Hunter.  Unfortunately, it was back side up, with the picture of Honest Abe holding the head of a vampire in one hand and a bloody axe in the other.  For a moment I wonder if I should flip it over, but then I remember that we have more important matters to attend to.  

Mr. Policeman tells tells us that Chris had come close to the yellow line while going around a curve and he just wanted to make sure his blood sugar wasn't too low or anything.  

???

That's really what he said!

Then he looks at my husband and asks, "When's the last time you had something to drink?"

I almost laughed out loud, but managed to control myself as Chris said, "You mean alcohol?  I don't drink!"

Mr.  Policeman just looks at him and says skeptically, "You mean to tell me that you've never had a drink in your life?"

"Not since high school."

Policeman:  "Okay, well, can I see your license?"

He takes the license and goes back to his own car.  I look at Chris and burst into laughter.  "Bwahahaha!  He thinks you're drunk!"  The idea of it was so ridiculous, it was funny.  We don't drink alcohol.  Ever.  The last time I had anything alcoholic to drink was literally ten years ago, and even longer for Chris.  

The policeman comes back to the car and asks Chris to step outside.  I'm still giggling, thinking I'm going to have to watch my husband walk the yellow line, when Jordan pipes up in a scared voice, "Mom.  Is dad drunk?"  I do my best to calm his fears and assure him that his daddy doesn't drink and, therefore, cannot be drunk- just a bad driver. 

Chris comes back, get's in the car, and drives off.  Of course, I beg to know what happened and this is what I find out:

Right after we left the house, a little old lady passed us on a double yellow line.  Said lady had the nerve to flag down the policeman and tell him that we were driving "crazy".  Let me repeat that... a driver who passed us on a double yellow line, in a school zone, turned us in for crappy driving.  The hubs said that when he brought up this fact, the policeman burst out laughing and explained that he didn't know anything about that, but that he had to check the situation out.  He also said that he made Chris get out of the car because he didn't want to accuse him of drinking in front of his family.  Except that he already had done that!  

What a weird start to our day.  One good thing is that I haven't seen the Hubs driving with his phone in his hand since.  Another good thing:  I'm still laughing about it!