Pulled Over

Last week, as we were on our way to the post office for the first field trip of the school year, the Hubs got pulled over.  We were driving along at the speed limit, minding our own business, and then BOOM!  Flashing blue lights.  

"I wonder why I'm getting pulled over?" wondered Chris.  "I wasn't speeding."

"He probably could tell that you were on your cell phone", I snarked.  This had been a sore subject with us for days.  I can't stand the way he messes with his cell phone while he drives.  Everybody knows it's dangerous.  I've told him it's dangerous.  But he never listens.  

Anyway, we get pulled over.  Mr. Policeman comes to the window.  He asks where we're going in an extremely nice way.  The Hubs informs him that we're on the way to a field trip.  I notice Mr.  Policeman looking at the book I was reading, which happened to be sitting in the console.  Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire Hunter.  Unfortunately, it was back side up, with the picture of Honest Abe holding the head of a vampire in one hand and a bloody axe in the other.  For a moment I wonder if I should flip it over, but then I remember that we have more important matters to attend to.  

Mr. Policeman tells tells us that Chris had come close to the yellow line while going around a curve and he just wanted to make sure his blood sugar wasn't too low or anything.  

???

That's really what he said!

Then he looks at my husband and asks, "When's the last time you had something to drink?"

I almost laughed out loud, but managed to control myself as Chris said, "You mean alcohol?  I don't drink!"

Mr.  Policeman just looks at him and says skeptically, "You mean to tell me that you've never had a drink in your life?"

"Not since high school."

Policeman:  "Okay, well, can I see your license?"

He takes the license and goes back to his own car.  I look at Chris and burst into laughter.  "Bwahahaha!  He thinks you're drunk!"  The idea of it was so ridiculous, it was funny.  We don't drink alcohol.  Ever.  The last time I had anything alcoholic to drink was literally ten years ago, and even longer for Chris.  

The policeman comes back to the car and asks Chris to step outside.  I'm still giggling, thinking I'm going to have to watch my husband walk the yellow line, when Jordan pipes up in a scared voice, "Mom.  Is dad drunk?"  I do my best to calm his fears and assure him that his daddy doesn't drink and, therefore, cannot be drunk- just a bad driver. 

Chris comes back, get's in the car, and drives off.  Of course, I beg to know what happened and this is what I find out:

Right after we left the house, a little old lady passed us on a double yellow line.  Said lady had the nerve to flag down the policeman and tell him that we were driving "crazy".  Let me repeat that... a driver who passed us on a double yellow line, in a school zone, turned us in for crappy driving.  The hubs said that when he brought up this fact, the policeman burst out laughing and explained that he didn't know anything about that, but that he had to check the situation out.  He also said that he made Chris get out of the car because he didn't want to accuse him of drinking in front of his family.  Except that he already had done that!  

What a weird start to our day.  One good thing is that I haven't seen the Hubs driving with his phone in his hand since.  Another good thing:  I'm still laughing about it!

why I'm thankful, day 18

Tonight I'm thankful that I found Shaun's Generation Praise shirt. He needed to wear it tomorrow and I thought it was lost for good. I'm also thankful that I was able to pry Jordan out of that stupid punching bag thing. Again.

why I'm thankful, day 3

Today I'm thankful for my friend Claire and her sweet spirit. I had a really stressful day today that included lots of tears. She took time out of her busy day to sit with me while I cried and somehow just knew I needed to hear the song How He Loves by The David Crowder Band.

And so she sang it to me before she prayed.

What a blessing she is to me.

what was said at Party City...

My sister and I were in Party City last night. She was looking for decorations for my nephew's birthday party when we passed an end-cap full of Eclipse party favors on clearance. Since we just happened to be getting ready for our annual Twilight party, Lori stopped to check it out. We weren't planning on going all out with decorations for this party, because we both are on tight budgets. The main purpose of said parties are to laugh, eat, and get together with our friends... we just use Twilight as an excuse to get together. But Lori just couldn't pass up these deals. Everything was 2 dollars or less- table cloths, banners, plates, you name it. Since the theme of this year's party is actually Breaking Dawn, we wondered if Party City had any other stuff in stock. Not that it really mattered... Twilight is Twilight, to us anyway. But we were curious, so when a store employee walked by, we snagged him and had this conversation:

Lori: "Excuse me. Do you guys have any Breaking Dawn party stuff in stock?"

Party City Employee: "Um... I don't know what that is."

Lori (with a shocked expression on her face): "It's the new Twilight movie!"

P.C.E.: "Oh. I thought there were only going to be three of those movies."

Me: Oh, no. There's actually going to be five!"

P.C.E.: "Ugh. I actually think I just threw up a little in my mouth."

Lori: "You really need to know more about the products you're selling. Do you have any?"

P.C.E.(while looking at us as if we're "special" and then glancing down at our buggy, which was overflowing with merchandise stamped with Edward Cullen's image): "Uh. No. No, we don't have any."

And then he gave us another "look" and walked on down the aisle.


Classic!

who am i?

Anyone who's been around me at all lately knows that I've been a nervous wreck since the second week in August. That's when the school year began. We had enrolled Jordan in the K12 program. For those who don't know, it's basically public school that's taught at home. I thought this program was best for several reasons:

1. It's free. 'Nough said.

2. It's structured. I thought we needed this for Jordan, my little wild man.

3. It's all prepared for you. No coming up with lesson plans... just follow the lesson guides.

4. I was (am) terrified of making colossal mistakes when teaching Jordan to read. I didn't have to worry about this with Shaun. We didn't begin homeschooling until Shaun was in 3rd grade... most of the core stuff was already covered. Jordan, however, is a "fresh slate". There's sooo many ways I can mess him up.

K12 seemed like a good idea in theory. And so I signed him up. Even though my close friend had quit the program cold-turkey during the middle of last year because it was so stressful and required so much busy-work. And even though this is indeed a public school program... and I had basically sworn off public school after Shaun's experience. And even though I adore the year-round school schedule we adopted with Shaun. And even though I hate answering to "the man". My self-doubt got the best of me.

On our first day of school, we were still doing schoolwork at 9:00 pm. Yuck. But I stuck with it. I figured we just hadn't found our groove yet. But really, the more I tried, the more Jordan resented it. He, like his big brother, needs short and to-the-point lessons. He doesn't need to go over the same skill 4 times in one math lesson. He becomes bored extremely easily. Phonics was the worst. It was painful.

With K12, each child is required to do most of the assignments. Some assignments are optional, but for the most part everything is required. And the fact is that my child simply cannot sit though all of that busy-work. After he's had his fill, his brain shuts off and trying to keep going is pointless. I can't tell you how many times I've pulled up his lessons on the computer only to hear him whine "Oh, not (shapes, m's, AABB patterns, etc) again!"

I began to get so frustrated with him. I can't tell you how many times I asked him, "Why can't you just sit still and finish this?" This is complete Deja vu from Shaun's kindergarten homework. Then one day, Jordan walked into the school room where I was straightening up the bookshelf. He looked at all of his materials and said, "I like doing school, I'm just not good at it." Oh, ouch. That hurt my heart. Wasn't this the kind of self-esteem crushing thing we were trying to avoiding by homeschooling in the first place?

The thing is, he is good at it. It's just that he doesn't need to do so much of it. And I'll tell a little secret. Some of that work that he was required to do? I lied and said he did it even when he didn't. And he still aced all of his tests. So there. :)

Anyway, after he said those pitiful words, I immediately gathered him up in my arms and told him exactly how good he was at doing his school work. And then I sent both kids outside to play so that I could meditate about what to do. As I watched them zoom around the yard on their bikes and scooters, I heard from God. "I made them this way. Who are you to try to change who they're meant to be?" I love it when He's direct and to the point, don't you? It reminded me of another time He spoke to me clearly. I blogged about it here.

That was 2 weeks ago. We went on vacation last week and Chris and I took that time to pray about what to do. And tonight, I withdrew him from the K12 program. I feel as free as a bird. I had ordered a new phonics program from Amazon a few weeks ago, and we'll start it tomorrow. I had also purchased Math U See for kindergarten last spring. Between that and the classes he takes at co op, he should be covered. And I won't have to worry about logging hours or forgetting to enter in his attendance every night.

As for my self-doubt... it's still there. Not as prevalent as before, but it's still hanging around. God has brought some "seasoned" homeschooling moms into my life lately and they've been such a source of encouragement. It's nice to hear some needed advice about curriculum and what not. I was talking to a friend at church today and she said, "One good thing about homeschooling... it keeps you praying!" How true. God has led us down this journey, and I know He'll give me the knowledge and ability to teach my children everything they need to know. His promises to us are Yes and Amen. I only wish I wouldn't forget that all of the time.

one fine day

One day... when Jordan is a well-adjusted, self-assured, educated adult I will be able to look back and laugh at the time he was reprimanded for being distractive in karate class. I'll laugh about the way he grew bored and said there "wasn't enough moving around time" in karate class. The karate class I signed him up for to get his wiggles out. I'll laugh about how he just had to turn cartwheels while he waited his turn because he just couldn't quite stand it to sit still and wait.

Yes. One day I'll laugh about this.

But not today.

Sigh.

one week down and a random rant

Today's Friday. The first official week of school is over. Behind us forever.

Thank God.

This week has been a little hairy. Or downright awful. I'm told this is normal... that the first week is always the worst. Looking back, I can believe that. But it's different this time around. Schooling two elementary aged children is definitely more difficult than an elementary kid and a preschool kid. It's a whole 'nother ball game. I'm hanging on to my sanity by a thin thread. Several times this week I've been tempted to call up Hall County and register Jordan for public kindergarten. I've never felt as out of control or frazzled as I've felt this week. Nothing has gone as planned. I did manage to have both boys complete all of their work this week, up until today. Jordan had a doctors appointment. We didn't get home until late, and then we needed to clean and get dinner going. I finally sat down at the computer with Jordan and was able to get his math and some phonics finished. We'll catch up this weekend.

Jordan. Bless him. He's such a little wiggle worm. As long as something's in front of him, he's fine. He loves his computer lessons and tolerates everything else. Except for phonics. Especially the portion of phonics that is not "hands on". I finally realized that the lessons go a lot quicker if I let him do a little "happy dance" to get the wiggles out after every correct answer.

Co-op is going well for Shaun. He's learning a lot and the classroom time is good for him. He's also doing really well in his lessons at home. I think he has finally resigned himself to the fact that he will have to do his school work whether he whines about it or not. I had zero whining from him this week. He's been good as gold, and has worked so hard for me. Love that boy!

I finally took Jordan to the doctor today for his sleeping issues. Dr O actually did a double take when he walked into the exam room and got a look at me. I guess I looked kind of tired. Jordan hasn't slept in about 2 weeks. I thought we'd gotten over this problem, but now it's worse than before. He's been getting about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. No where near enough. He's exhausted and so are Chris and myself. We're all struggling to function while walking around with our eyes half closed. I finally took the advice of my sister and called the doctor. He's referring us to a sleep specialist. He doesn't think anything medically is causing his insomnia. Most likely it's his strong will. And a sleep specialist will apparently know how to handle this. In the meantime, I'm supposed to hang in there and try to get some sleep.

Last Sunday, a sweet friend from church asked me if I was okay. I told her yes, just tired. I told her a little about Jordan. And she said she'd be praying for sleep. How could I not have prayed about this? I'm so used to praying for the major issues in my life, I forgot that God cares about me needing sleep, too. So please, if you're a believer, join me in prayer for my babe. Pray for him to have rest and for this issue to work itself out without us even having to go see the specialist. I'd really appreciate it!

It was past lunchtime when the appointment was over, so we stopped at McDonald's. We ran into some friends from church in the Play Place and Jordan was able to get some energy out. He was being very good. Not loud, just energetically running and playing in the appropriate area with his friend. Imagine my surprise when a perfect stranger sat down near me and asked how old Jordan was. I told her that he was 5. She then commented to me that he was pretty hyper and that I should put him on Concerta.

O. M. G.

Do you even know how hard it was for me to bite my tongue in my sleep-deprived, PMSing state? Very, very hard. I actually did bite my lip to keep from snapping, "Yes, I know all about Concerta and would really rather not have another child of mine experience all of the negative side effects of those medications. Maybe you should do some more research yourself before giving out medical advice to people you don't even know".

It's one thing to suggest, parent to parent, a treatment that has worked for your child. It is entirely another thing to make a statement like she did. Really... I'm the one who has to deal with my child, so what's it to her? I don't know this woman, but I gathered from listening to her that she and I disagreed about a lot of other things too. I was glad to see her leave.

Tomorrow, Shaun has a long birthday party to attend. Long as in, 5 hours long. My friend Kendra is a brave woman. Ha! Since I haven't had a night off in several weeks, the Hubs and I decided that I should stay in town instead of driving back home. So I'll have a few free hours to myself. Maybe I should find a cheap hotel and take a nap. Instead, I'll probably window shop, see a movie, and get groceries. Then come home, make dinner, sit up with Jordan all night and get ready to do the same thing all over again next week.

I really, really need some rest.

on edge

We stayed at church a long time last night. Like, until 10:00. Of course we were starving afterward, so we went to Waffle House with our good friends, the Cooks. As anyone knows, when you go somewhere with the Cook Family, they''ll be a lot of talking involved. And last night was no exception. We split up into 3 tables. Men at the counter. Kids at a booth, and us women at the booth behind them. We chatted and chatted while we were waiting on our food. Things were relatively calm, save one flying spoon incident.

It was almost midnight when we finally rolled into our driveway. I know. How irresponsible of us, right? The kids went straight to bed without even brushing their teeth, since we had to be up and ready to go to our new co-op's registration this morning. I was really tired too, but Chris had absolutely no clean work clothes. So I sat up and waited on the washing machine.

I read the Bible and looked over Facebook while I waited. I was just about ready to finally, finally go to sleep when I heard rain. I went out on the front porch and saw that it wasn't rain after all, but wind. Lots and lots of wind blowing tree limbs and leaves everywhere. Plenty of thunder and crazy lightening, too. It was pretty spooky, and the wind was kind of concerning, so I was up until the storm passed. I think it was around 3:00 or 3:30 when I finally decided it was safe enough to sleep. I slept an hour, and then I heard Jordan crying. He had a stomach ache. I brought him into our bed and tried to sleep again, but I absolutely cannot stand to sleep with my children. I've never been a mom who needs her kids with her all night long. I need my space. I need to be able to move around. I just can't sleep peacefully with a child pressed up against my side. So I dozed on and off until Chris left for work. I was finally able to move Jordan over, and then we all slept soundly until 9:00.

We made it to registration and... registered. Ha ha! My mom treated all of us (my brood plus my sister and her kids) to a movie. By the time we left registration we had missed the 1:00 movie, so we decided to do lunch first. After lunch we still had time to kill, so we went to Marshall's. All of us. We were there for a really long time. The kids got some new clothes and we were checking out and... Shaun had a meltdown. Now, I am somewhat used to his meltdowns. He doesn't have them very often anymore, but when he was little, they were a regular thing. 11 year old meltdowns are different from 5 year old meltdowns. 11 year old meltdowns are fueled by pubescent hormones. They involve smart-mouthed remarks, tears, and a lot of self pity. Very embarrassing. And he made me mad. So mad that, after we had gotten outside and out of all the other customers' earshot, I said some things that I regret. Eventually things calmed down. Shaun apologized, and I did too.

We finally made it to the movies. We saw Smurfs. It was actually pretty good. The parts I saw were good, anyway. I made about a million trips to the concession stand for drink and popcorn refills. The worst thing that happened at the theater was my mom knocking a cup of popcorn out of my hand. I can handle that!

On the way home from the movie, the boys were playing their video games. All was well. Then Shaun wanted his game that Jordan was playing. And Jordan had a meltdown. A 5 year old meltdown. Ugh. It wasn't pretty. Eventually he calmed down and we made it back home.

Right now, the boys are having their punishment: they're not getting to go swimming and instead are doing some chores around the house. They've accepted their consequences pretty maturely. Maybe they learned their lesson.

Today's been pretty stressful. The 100+ temperatures in Georgia today aren't helping things. We're tired, we're hot. No wonder we're on edge. I'm calling for an early bedtime.

One more thing. On the way home, I was reminded of how our life was about 6 years ago. Shaun was really out of control and we had no idea what was wrong or what to do about it. Those meltdowns? They happened many times a day. Every single day. We know now that epilepsy mixed with some food sensitivities were causing most of it. Things are so much better now. In fact, I can't remember the last time we had a day like today. I mentioned this to my mom, saying something about how we should praise the Lord for how much progress we've made. I'm not sure she appreciated it right then, but I'm sure she will later. :)

in my iPhone lately

I was going through the pictures on my phone today and had to laugh at the randomness of some of the things I choose to take pictures of. Here's some of them...

Shaun and friends after a swim.

A beautiful rainbow the family and I saw after a rain storm.

Jordan's new shoes.


The alter call at Forward Conference. Amazing.


Planet Shakers. Also taken at Forward Conference.


I was really excited about this one. See the Borax, Washing Soda, and Baking Soda? That's the ingredients for my laundry detergent... in the same store, on the same aisle, side by side. Until now, I had to go to at least two different stores to get my supplies, and they were never on the same aisle. Thank you, Wal-Mart!


Jordan and his cousin Layna. Playing XBox.


The Hubs and his friend Daniel. Also known as Ron and Don.


Ron and Don in their work clothes. Along with Shaun and Carlos Quesos.


Just a friendly game of dodge ball... in which Jordan didn't dodge.


Shaun and Jordan engaged in a "foot five".


My Pawpaw and Granny on their 60th wedding anniversary.

My sister and I got pedicures. And we took her kids with us!


Ready to swim!



Our after-church trip to El Sombrero. Yes, they ate all that food.


Laser Tag. "It's on. Like Donkey Kong".



We really love each other.

Arrrrrr!

The Hubs and I had a date with Shaun tonight. All four of us had planned a trip to the theater... because Pirates of the Caribbean 4 opened today. At the last minute, Jordan decided he'd rather spend the evening with his cousins and grandparents. So it was just the three of us. It was nice. It had been a while since we'd been anywhere with just Shaun. I think he loved the attention he got. We went to dinner, where he ordered off the adult menu. No more kiddie menus for him, since he's eleven now.

After we'd eaten, we met some friends at the theater. These friends of ours... they're special! They're fun and unique and quirky. And best of all, they love Jesus. What more could we ask for? When we first made plans to see this movie together, months ago, said friends told us that they were going to dress up as Pirates for the movie. I didn't really take them seriously. I should have known better!

When we entered the almost empty theater (way before the movie was scheduled to begin) we were greeted with

"Arrrrrr!"

and

"You scallywags!"

and the like by our friends in their pirate garb. What fun! Even though Chris and I were seriously underdressed. At least Shaun wore an eye patch!

The movie was great. It was my first 3D movie ever, and I was greatly impressed. Movies will never be the same for me again!

Here are some (really awful iPhone) pictures from our night. I really need to start bringing my "real" camera with me when we go out.

i improvised

I had plans to meet up with my in-laws (mother and sister) today for some belated Mother's Day mani-pedis. I was so excited. I love, love, LOVE getting my toes done. And ever since I stopped biting my fingernails last summer, I love getting manicures, too. In fact, I have to keep my nails painted so that I won't revert back to my old ways and begin biting them down to the quick again. Its true that old habits die hard.

I've been a nail biter since elementary school. When I was sick in the hospital last summer, I actually felt so bad that I couldn't even bite my nails. When I felt better, the first thing I noticed was that I had fingernails. My mom treated me to a mani-pedi when I came home, and the rest is history. I'm hooked.

I am not a fan of spending money on myself, but this is my gift to myself every so often. I don't get to go as often as I like, but I try to fit it in when I can. I even have a favorite polish. In case you're interested, its called "Suzi Skis in the Pyrenees". O P I makes it. Its great. I'm a huge fan of dark polish. I figure black goes with everything, right? But sometimes, black is too black. Even for me. And then I discovered "Suzi Skis". Its almost black, but not quite. A dark, charcoal gray. Delicious. I love it so much that I choose it every single time.

Anyway. We had planned to visit the nail salon today to celebrate Mother's Day. But, some unexpected and unavoidable events took place and we had to reschedule. I was bummed. I've been in a funk lately. And my feet needed some attention in a bad way.

So what did I do?

I improvised.

With my two boys in tow, I paid a visit to Ulta. I've never been before. And now I'm hooked on it, too. I could've looked around in there for hours had I not been crunched for time and been without a less-than-thrilled-to-be-in-a-"makeup"-store eleven year old. Yup. Shaun was not thrilled to be there. Jordan, on the other hand, didn't mind one bit. He loves to help me pick out nail polish and lipstick. We don't mind this habit of his, now that he's old enough to understand that makeup is for girls. He'll hand one to me and say, "This one will be so pretty for you, Mommy". And, usually, he's right. Jordan wants to be a rock star when he grows up, and I've even been known to allow him to pain his nails. Only black, of course. No pinks, reds, or purples. Because, "Those are for girls".

I'm weird like that, I guess.

Anyway. Since I didn't have much time and there was a lot of breakable stuff in Ulta, I asked the sales girl for O P I nail polish. She directed me to the back of the store, and there it was. A bottle of "Suzi Skis in the Pyrenees" of my very own. We left the store and went to pick Chris up from work. He really did not understand my excitement. But that's okay.

Later that night, I gave myself a pedicure. My toes look great. Almost black, but not quite. My favorite!

A few weeks ago, I took the advice of someone very wise and began reading this book by Dr. Kevin Leman:

I began reading this book because we, my husband and I, realized that we were at a strange place with our second child. That strange place being that we really did NOT know what to do with him. We thought we were oh, so experienced in rearing strong-willed boys, but alas... we don't know as much as we thought we did. The things we tried with Shaun just weren't working with Jordan. It became clear a while ago that we were going to need to be creative in "bringing him up in the way that he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it". But what to do?

Spankings didn't work. Taking away toys didn't work. Time-outs were a dismal failure. It seemed that, when he would get in trouble, the satisfaction of doing what he wanted was always worth the fact that he would be in trouble. The old saying is true, by the way. The one about how your children are payback for the way you treated your own parents. I know this because I remember thinking the same exact thing as a teenager. I knew that, for example, if I skipped school I would get caught and be grounded. I was always caught. I have bad luck that way. But. The fun I had when I ditched Mr. Thomas' Free Enterprise class was well worth any pain and suffering I would get later. Sigh. I'm having a whole new respect for my parents lately.

Anyway. I don't want Jordan to be like I was. I want him to do the right thing in the first place. Isn't that what all of us parents want? So, after reading a few chapters of Dr. Leman's book, the Hubs and I decided to give "Reality Discipline" a try. Basically, this means "let the punishment fit the crime". If a child dumps food in the floor, make the child clean it up. If a child breaks a toy, make him pay for a new one. There's no set guidelines on how to discipline for any particular "crime". That's up to us, as parents. It seems pretty cut and dry, right? That's what we thought. And we were doing pretty well with our new strategy.

Until the night that Jordan got scissors and cut not only his own hair, but his own eyelashes. Why, you're wondering? I wondered that too. In fact, I asked Jordan that very question. I mean, I understand the cutting hair thing. Lots of kids do that. But eyelashes? I asked him why and he replied, "Because I don't like them". Oh. Well, of course. What was I thinking?

So there we were. We knew we had to discipline him, but HOW?

A little while later, someone commented that Jordan's hair was slightly uneven and asked if he had cut it. We said yes, he had. Very calmly. And then Jordan piped up with, "Well, I guess I'll just have to go get another haircut at Wal-Mart".

Ah. So that was his motive. Pretty genius of him, actually. He wanted a haircut, but knew that it wasn't time for him to get a haircut. So he did a wack job on his own hair. Thinking that we would take him to get it fixed.

And that's when it hit me. I explained to Jordan that it wasn't time for him to get a new haircut and that haircuts cost money. Then I informed him that he would not be getting a haircut until he did chores to make money to pay for it himself.

And that's what we're doing. Today he picked up sticks in the yard and swept off the car port. Yesterday he scrubbed the bath tub. Tomorrow he will do something else. Not quite sure yet. How long does to take to earn ten dollars, anyway?

So that's our adventure with "Reality Discipline" thus far.

On a different note, I'm really upset about him cutting his eyelashes. He looks so ridiculous. I hope they grow back.

Jordan has Ectodermal Dysplasia. His fingernails and toenails take forever to grow. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had to trim them. I'm praying every day that his eyelashes don't have the same problem. I'm thinking not, since his hair grows at a normal rate.

Grrr. I want to hang him up by his toenails every time I think about him cutting his eyelashes!