Chris disappointed me today. Not only that, he let me down. I realize that some people reading this have a high opinion of my husband, as you should. He is a wonderful man. But, he is human. And humans let you down. Because they're human. I am hesitant to blog about this but I figure that we all have "stuff" in our marriages that we need to work on. One day I'll write about everything I need help with, but today I feel like blogging about Chris and so I will :)
No, he wasn't unfaithful. He didn't lie or spend a ton of money we don't have on a boat (or some equally stupid and superfluous thing). I had a horrid day today. I'm sick. I'm tired. I drove to Atlanta and back and dealt with negligent insurance companies. And I handled both of the kids for most of the weekend while he was out of town. And he'll be gone this weekend, too. All I want is some support. I just want him to sympathize with me. Let me have a minute to just vent without being told to calm down. Instead, he tells me he'll handle the kids so I can take a bath. While I'm in the tub, he falls asleep on the couch and Jordan has his way with the kitchen. I'm talking water everywhere and a knife-cut on his finger. While Chris sleeps on the couch. When he told me he'd be watching the kids. I know he's tired. I know he works his butt off to provide for us, and I'm so grateful for that. But its not like I'm some trophy wife sitting home all day while a nanny takes care of the kids. I feel taken for granted.
Another big thing is this: he did some work for a friend a few weeks ago and has never gotten paid. I feel like he's not being aggressive enough in trying to get paid. I bring it up, he says all I worry about is money. Well, yeah, when we get stuck with a $700 doctor bill today, I'm kinda worrying about money. Money that is ours. That we could really use right now.
I know this is all just stress. But I feel let down. The radiologist let me down when he didn't read Shaun's x-ray 2 weeks ago. The insurance company let me down because they didn't do their job and I was stuck without coverage today. The school system's letting me down because they're probably going to be cutting special education teachers positions. And then Chris let me down today, too.
So, today sucked. Totally. But here's the thing. I serve a God who is bigger than all this suckiness. And I'm confident that when I wake up tomorrow (well, maybe the next day) I'll have a different attitude and forgiveness in my heart. I'll feel like being a loving, supportive wife. Because yes, people let us down. But God doesn't. And he gives us strength to forgive and try again.
Now, on to other things. Shaun's wrist is fractured. We left the doctors office today with nifty bright blue cast. I'm just glad we finally got to the bottom of all this. He'll have the cast for 3 weeks. The good news is that he can still do Taekwondo. Just no sparring or punching on bags, boards, etc. He took the news pretty well. I can tell his arm is hurting, though. Since Chris is still sacked out on the couch, I think I'm letting Shaun sleep with me tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment