Snowbound

That's been us this week. It snowed Sunday night. A lot. And it all stuck. And then it all froze over. Which made driving difficult.

So, the Hubs had to spend a few days at the hospital, where he works. He was on-call and had to be within 30 minutes of the hospital at all times. Which left me home alone. With my sweet, lovely, hyperactive children. Stir crazy doesn't begin to describe it.

Okay. It wasn't all that bad. We played a lot of video games. Shaun "skated" on the frozen snow in the yard. Jordan became addicted to "The Wonder Pets" on NetFlix. Shaun beat several levels in "Lego Star Wars". We all engaged in countless light saber battles. Jordan learned to write his name. Shaun finished a up a unit in math. We ate a lot of peanuts and vegetables. We squabbled. We played with Legos, Moon Sand, and Play Doh. Jordan performed a few puppet shows. My dad braved the elements to drive over for a visit. We screamed like school girls when the Propane man drove up in his big huge truck to make his delivery before we ran out of Propane. (I think we were really just excited to see a human who wasn't related to us)

By this afternoon...after Day 3 of being stuck inside with nowhere to go, we were more than just a little sick of each other. So my sister and her family came to visit. Then, in a desperate attempt to get out of my house, I convinced the Hubs that we needed some groceries. We piled in the car and slid to Kroger. I planned to spend $20 and would up spending $60. Ouch.

Our Thursday activities have been canceled for tomorrow due to the "inclement weather". So we'll be here again. Hopefully we'll get out and do something on Friday. When the temperature will actually be in the 40s.

40 degrees. That seems downright balmy right now.

Have I mentioned that I don't particularly like the snow?

Its s sad day.

A few weeks ago I requested prayer for my "baby" cousin Alex and her unborn baby, Emory. Sadly, Emory passed away yesterday just minutes after his birth. My heart is breaking for Alex and her mother, who are currently at a hospital in Dallas, TX. They travelled there in hopes that Emory would be able to undergo surgery on his little heart. I think they will remain in Dallas until Friday, until Emory can be cremated and brought back home to Georgia. Please lift this family up in prayer. I cannot begin to imagine going through something like this at only sixteen years old.

Despite everything, I still believe that my God has plans to make good out of everything His children endure.

No other words right now. Just praying for peace and comfort for my family.

A light-hearted, shallow Thanksgiving post...

...which will be followed at some point by a sentimental, deep Thanksgiving post. But tonight, I feel like being a little silly.

So, I'm thankful for:

...NetFlix. Because it keeps me company when I can't sleep.

...my iPhone. Because it introduced me to Words with Friends. And it allows me to snap cute photos all day long, even though the quality's not great.

...Facebook. Because it gives me a glimpse of the "outside" when I'm inside the house teaching my children.

...The Office. Because nothing makes me laugh harder late at night than Michael Scott.

...my Thursday night clique. Because I've never belonged to a clique before and it makes me feel so special.

...feta cheese. Because its just so darned good...and it only has 1 carb per serving.

...Twilight. Because its brought me so much mindless happiness over the past year.

...the person who invented text messaging. Because text messaging has eliminated hours and hours of mind-numbing small talk from my life.

...Call of Duty. Because it occupies my Hubs for so many hours, which gives me some free time.

...Wal-Mart. Because its open 24 hours. This enables me to meet interesting people while grocery shopping at midnight.

...homeschooling. Because it allows me to sleep intil 9:00 am most mornings.

...Teen Mom. Because Catelyn, Maci, Amber, and Farrah make me feel so mature.

And many, many more. But I have to stop now, because I can hear Jordan and he's supossed to be asleep...and even though I'm mildly annoyed right now, I'm so, SO thankful my children have the ability to get in and out of bed by themselves. :)

Overwhelmed

I think we all (everyone who comes into contact with me on a daily basis) know that I'm a little emotional here lately. Maybe its a hormone problem. Maybe I need some vitamins. Who knows. I'm weepy and moody. And no, I'm NOT pregnant. I'm going to a new doctor soon to get it all straigtened out. But in the meantime, I feel like an absolute basket case.

Last week, I had a mini breakdown. At the park. Out in public. In front of my children. And the friends of my children. And the mom of the friends of my children. Thank goodness said mom is a good friend of mine. Otherwise, the situation would have been extremely awkward. Bwahahaha!

Anyway, while I was a blubbering, tearful mess, I tried to explain to my friend exactly how I felt about Shaun and all of his "issues". I think my exact words were:

"...its like a cycle. Most of the time I can handle things and they don't bother me. But sometimes its just....just...."

And then my sweet friend piped in with:

"...overwhelming?"

Yes. YES! Exactly. Sometimes...not all the time...but sometimes....I'm just plain overwhelmed. With everything. Not only by my children, but by everything. I'm coming out of a really tough week. I've had to confront people. Which I really, really do NOT like to do. We've had some financial...surprises. Not the good kind! I don't feel good. And my hair's falling out. Pretty depressing stuff. I guess I'm in a funk

We sang a song at church last Wednesday night about praising God even when things are tough. How praise will confuse the enemy. So that's what I'm trying to do- praising and praying that tomorrow and the coming week are better.

And starting tomorrow, I'm definitely going to follow the good example of some of my bloggy friends and post some "thankful" blogs. Promise. ")

Please Pray!

I have a prayer request today. Please pray hard for my cousin Alex and her unborn baby, Emory. Emory has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. As of right now, Alex is in the hospital where Emory can be monitored. They are waiting for amnio results, which should be back either tonight or tomorrow. From what I understand, the amnio is checking for genetic abnormalities. If no abnormalities are found, Alex and Emory could be eligible for an experimental surgery in Boston to repair Emory's heart valves in utero. Because this procedure is experimental, the doctors are picky about their patients, so they may decide not to take this case, even with positive amnio results. If the amnio tests postive for genetic abnormalities, I think the doctors will continue to monitor mom and baby until birth. The doctors are not giving the family very positive outlooks.

There are so many opportunities for miracles here! Please join me in praying for Emory's complete and total healing.

On how my routine's out the window.

Tuesdays. I used to love 'em. We had a routine, the kids and I. And if you know me, you know how I love a good daily routine. Until last week, our Tuesday routine was as follows:

Wake up. Do some school. Grab a quick lunch (usually gluten-free mac and cheese with peas and carrots- a favorite with my boys). Jump in the car for Shaun's physical therapy appointment. Then, it was on to Monkey Joe's for Free Tuesdays. That's right. Free admittance. For us, that's almost a savings of twenty bucks. We'd meet up with some friends and the children would jump themselves silly while the moms talked until 4:30. That's when we'd head over to Stevie B's for pizza. Because on Tuesdays at Stevie B's, kids eat for one dollar. That's a crazy-good deal. So, we'd eat, the kids would play, and us moms would talk (some more) for another few hours. Afterwards, we'd head home, get baths, and the kids would be so worn out they'd go to bed early. What a great day! Here's a few pictures from past Tuesdays:

Shaun flirting with a MJ employee.


Most of the "regulars".




Two Tuesdays ago, we went to Monkey Joe's as usual. I signed the kids in and they took off. The teenaged employee put my wristband on and then said, " That'll be six dollars". Huh? I informed him that this was Tuesday, and admittance was free! Then he informed me that admittance was now three dollars on Tuesdays. Well. I decided that I could deal with spending six dollars, especially since my kids were already jumping! We continued on with our Tuesday as usual.

Last week when I signed in the kids at MJ's, the same teenaged employee hits me with "That's seventeen dollars and ninety-eight cents". I think I actually gasped a little and sputtered "Are you charging full price on Tuesdays now??". It seems that yes, Monkey Joe's has done away with Free and/or Reduced Tuesdays. Talk about disappointment! I was able to somehow talk the staff into letting us in for three bucks, same as the week before. But I don't think I can do it again. Which means that our Tuesday Routine is out the window. Because I will NOT pay almost 20 bucks for my children to jump on inflatables. I refuse. Its ridiculous!

So now our Tuesdays have changed. I assume I'll actually be making dinner in my own kitchen, since I can't really imagine us waiting around Gainesville for 2 and a half hours on one dollar pizza. What will I do with all of the extra time I'll have on Tuesday evenings? Maybe I'll get some cleaning done. And my Jeep needs a good washing. I'm also behind on the laundry. Somehow, none of this sounds as fun as all the conversations my friends and I had around the Stevie B's table...

Oh, Tuesdays! You were nice while you lasted!

Firsts

There's only one word to describe my family's life lately. Busy. We've been so busy. We're finally back in the swing of things with school. The kids have started attending a co-op. Chris has been working tons and tons of overtime. Etc, etc, etc. Its been awhile since I've posted anything, and a lot of "firsts" have happened since last time:

1. Jordan's first bike ride. While at my mom's for a visit, my babe taught himself how to ride a bike sans training wheels. I was pretty amazed. He's now a pro.

2. Shaun's first sleep-over. Shaun spent the night with a friend. This is the first time he's ever been away overnight, aside from spending the night with family. I was a bit of a nervous wreck, but things went just fine. When I left him, he had tears in his eyes, so I fully expected a phone call from my friend Rebecca at 2:00 am. But things went just fine. Shaun and his friends actually were sound asleep by 8:00- they had played hard outside all day long. When I picked him up the next day, Shaun asked why I was there- apparently he wanted to stay longer. He's growing up.

3. My first meal at Red Robin. While Shaun was "spending the night", I was having a mom's night. At Red Robin. Oh my. Delicious isn't the word. I'm hooked. I want to go back. I had this monster burger topped with avocado dip and feta cheese. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

4. Chris' first Dad's Night Out. I've been having a lot of "me time" lately, and I guess Chris was jealous. At any rate, he informed me that he was going out to a movie with a friend from work. Since I'm such a good wife, I had no problem with this. And I didn't laugh at all when Chris' friend would up having to work late, forcing my Hubs to see a movie by himself. Hee hee!

5. Jordan's first self-inflicted hair cut. Jordan's co-op teacher came up to me in the hallway at church and exclaimed, "That baby of yours! I looked at him and he was leaned over the table chopping his hair off..and hiding it in his pencil box". I went into Jordan's classroom to survey the damage and found a huge chunk cut into his bangs and the hair on the back of his head. When I asked why in the world he would do such a thing, Jordan informed me that he needed a haircut. Sigh.

Passion

I realized today that, somewhere in the last few months, I've lost my passion. My focus hasn't been where it should be: on Jesus. Always straight on Jesus. This was in no way intentional. Life got in the way, I guess. I was sick for awhile and recovering was trickier than I thought it would be. Then it was *technically* time for school to start. I considered my current situation...headaches, lack of energy, drug-induced confusion and clumsiness...and Chris and I made the decision that school for our family would begin in September instead of August. And then we hit our knees and gave thanks to God for the benefits of homeschooling.

In September we hit the books hard and heavy. The kids were (and still are) learning lots and actually enjoying it enough to not cry about it too much. :) We had a schedule that gave us Fridays off, since we school year-round. Everybody loves this! We began attending a homeschooling co-op at church on Thursdays, which we all really enjoy. Everything was great. But it was also a lot of hard work. Getting lesson plans ready. Planning field trips and library visits. Shaun joined a dance team and is also taking karate again. Routines to learn! Oh! The nursing home ministry that our family is blessed to be a part of...together. We love it! But its also work...songs to choose and rehearse (along with rehearsing for the other 2 routines from other activities). Chris' guitar lessons and band rehearsals. Homework for School of Discipleship and keeping up with the reading for my small group.

I began to get really good at juggling everything! I was doing all of the above and still managing to keep the house decently clean, which is a major, major big deal for me. I was even on a Bible reading plan to read the New Testament in 30 days. But... I was on auto-pilot. Literally. Doing things without really doing them, if that makes any sense. Praying without thinking, reading without comprehending. Auto pilot.

Then, last night, my Hubs had the opportunity to lead worship for our church's middle school ministry. I had never attended one of these services and didn't really know what to expect, as this is a fairly new ministry at our church. I'm so glad that God orchestrated the events of our lives to allow me to be there last night. The message was about Jesus, and how He not only died for us, but because of us. Because of me. He knew each and every sin I would ever commit, and He died for me anyway. Of course, I technically knew this already, but lets just say that it had been quite a while since I had really meditated on it. Towards the end of the sermon, the pastor showed clips of The Passion of the Christ. I hadn't seen that movie in so long. While watching, I became overcome with gratitude for my Savior. And I wasn't the only one. The alter was full of middle school students making commitments to Jesus. It was a great night.

I left church last night with the correct perspective on life once again. And its so nice. Life has a way of taking my "best", and its so easy to lose focus on the important things. I've committed, once again, to not become so busy and wrapped up in my family that I lose sight of my Jesus. My Passion. I'm so grateful that He gives us second (third, fourth, fifth...) chances.

Patty

Today's been a hard day. Especially for Shaun.

This morning, the boys and I had plans to head to Wal-Mart with my sister. I was waiting for her to arrive to pick us up, when I heard an awful howling noise from outside. It was so loud and agonizing that I was sure a coyote had attacked an animal in the woods behind our house or something. Then my phone rang.

"Erin. I just ran over Patty", my sister whispered to me.

I jumped up from my chair, thinking "Oh my gosh, I can't believe our little dog made that horrible, loud noise". Thankfully, Shaun and Jordan were absorbed in their video game and didn't hear a thing. I walked out onto our car port and there was our little Patty...hobbling around, pulling herself with her front legs. Looking up at us with such sad eyes.

My sister had tears in her own eyes as she apologized profusely and begged me not to tell my boys that she was the one who did this to their dog. We decided to take her to the vet. I went inside and told Shaun and Jordan that Patty was hurt and needed to go to the doctor. We put her in a crate off we went.

When we arrived at the vet's office, we were ushered to an exam room...me, Shaun and Jordan, and my sister and two of her children. The doctor came in and took Patty to a back room to examine her. When she came back in, she informed me that something was definitely broken but x-rays were needed to see how severe the injuries were. She brought out a price list that totaled more than $600.

In a panic, I whispered how much we would need to pay today. I told her that I didn't have an extra $100, let alone $600. I talked to the office manager and we were working out a payment plan. Then, this sweet woman asked if she could talk to me in the hallway, away from the children. Once we were alone, she looked me in the eye and asked me if I was willing to pay that much money for a dog we had only had for a few months. She went on to say that the $600 was just a minimum of treatment costs...the total bill was likely to be closer to $1300. And, she went on-- it was likely that Patty would have to be put down anyway.

She proceeded to talk with me through my tears, suggesting that we may want to consider just having Patty put to sleep. I went outside to call Chris, who of course, left the decision up to me. While I was on the phone with him, a "God Thing" occurred.

The vet and nurse came outside onto the porch. They told me that, while Patty was in the treatment room, one of the technicians working on her had become attached. And...get this...this sweet woman became aware of our financial situation and offered to adopt our dog- and pay for all of her medical expenses. Wow. At first I was a little taken-aback. But then, when I considered it, it made the perfect solution. But- I still had to run it past Shaun. I brought him outside and told him what was going on. A heart-breaking conversation. He cried and cried. And so did I. But, proving once again that he is indeed growing up, he agreed to let the technician take his dog...as long as he could meet her first.

We went back inside and met with Bar. One of the sweetest, most compassionate people I've ever met. She was so good with Shaun, explaining that she lived on a huge farm and had a retired husband and several other dogs for Patty to play with. Plus, she worked at the vet's office, so all of Patty's injuries would be taken care of. She passed the test with Shaun, and we left the vet's office minus our little dog.

Jordan still doesn't understand what's going on. Shaun's still sad. So are Chris and I. I told Shaun that once our hearts don't hurt quite so badly anymore, we'll go to the Humane Society and pick out a different dog. He said he didn't think he'd be ready anytime soon. :(

So, that's been our day. My eyes are gritty from tears and my neck is tense from the stress. But even so, I've been amazed once again at how God takes care of us and provides us with everything we need.

Yes, today was definitely a "God Thing" day.

Now, that's love!

Corn Nuts. They've become my favorite snack over the last few months. Specifically, ranch flavored Corn Nuts. They're delicious. They are to me, at least. I've learned that not too many other people like them. But to me, there's nothing better. For a snack, that is. Even though I know they're terrible for me. I can only pronounce 2 of the ingredients listed on the label...corn and corn oil. I have to hide them from the boys because no way are they eating them!

A few days ago, on the way home from Wal-Mart, I noticed that the Jeep had less than a quarter tank of gas. I asked Chris if he was going to stop to fill up. He said no, that he'd just do it on the way to work the next day. I told him that if he stopped, I'd like to run inside and get a pack of Corn Nuts for later. He just looked at me and said that the kids were tired and we needed to get home. And I said okay.

The next night, I was home alone with the kids. Chris was out listening to band practice. Potential recording business, you know. I noticed that we needed a few groceries, so I sent him a text asking him to pick them up. Ground beef, organic ketchup, green beans, and carrotts- for those who are interested. He sent a text back from the grocer store asking if I needed anything else. Of course I replied back with "Corn Nuts".

He called from the car on the way home with the news that Kroger doesn't carry Corn Nuts and that he had also went to 3 different gas stations trying to find them- with no luck. I thanked him for his effort.

Today, The Hubs came home from work with these:

Oh yeah! When he bought gas today, he also bought every pack of ranch flavored Corn Nuts in the store. Was that sweet or what? Now, that's love!

Speaking of the man I married, he just left for church with the children. I'm supposed to be sleeping, seeing as how I've been awake almost continually for 48 hours. To say that I'm having trouble sleeping would be an understatement. I literally have been staying awake all night long. Not intentionally. It just happens. To say that I'm tired would also be an understatement. So, I guess I should stop blogging and catch some zzzz's. Chris' plan is for me to fall asleep around 5 and sleep through the night. I have strict instructions to not, under any circumstances, turn on Net Flix. He says he won't wake me...or let the boys wake me....if I'm sleeping when they get home. I think he's really, REALLY ready for me to be all well again!

Alright. I'm gonna try to sleep now. G'night!

Pity Party

I'm having a pity party with myself tonight.

I'm getting over Viral Meningitis. Had to stay in the hospital and everything. I'll post a long, gory, blog entry about that later.

While I was in the hospital, with the most agonizing headache I've ever had, my doctor told me, "You'll probably go home with a headache. It may even last 6 weeks. We just need to get you to manage the pain so that you can go home".

So now I'm at home, "managing my pain" with narcotics. Actually, I'm at my parent's house. Because I can't do anything for myself as long as my head feels this way and I'm on this medicine. It stinks. I hate asking people for help. I always have. For two weeks now, I've had to depend on people to take care of me and my kids. While I just lay around, complaining. It stinks. I can't sleep at night. I can't sleep during the day because my head aches. I can't take care of my children because my medicine makes me dizzy and stumble around. I think I'm depressed, even though I'm now on depression medicine that also helps ease nerve pain. I hate being on medicine. I hate feeling doped up. I hate feeling like a burden to my family. I'm tired. I hurt. People, many people, have layed hands on my head and prayed for the pain to go. And its still here. It stinks.

I know I have so much to be thankful for: a family who loves me and takes care of me, a church family who loves me and prays for me and brings dinner to my family, the fact that I only had Viral Meningitis and not the more serious Bacterial kind. But I'm having mood swings and right now I'm feeling sorry for myself. I want to be home with Chris and the boys instead of in my old room at my parents house. I want my head to stop hurting!!!

So, since I can't sleep tonight, I'm having myself a little pity party.

I won't be offended if you don't want to join me.

And I Had a Bad Day

I know I'm probably jinxing myself, but its been a really long time since I've had a really bad day. Until today. It was just awful.

It began when I accidentally dropped my iPhone into a glass of water. I still can't believe this happened. I loved my phone. When I realized what I'd done, I did some internet research, removed the SIM card, dried it with a hair dryer and stuck it in a bowl full of rice. And there its gonna stay for a few days. I know its silly, but I feel LOST without it. Cut off from the world. No Words with Friends. No texting. No listening to music while I wash dishes. It stinks not having a phone.

As if that wasn't enough, my children have...lets say...kept me on my toes today. Especially my youngest little darling. Some of his shenanigans today have included, but are not limited to : spraying the living room with water from the garden hose, spilling multiple bowls of water on the living room floor while trying to water the dog, dirtying at least 4 different outfits from playing in the mud, and taking a bath with the dog, trying to "make a break for it" by sneaking outside. Sigh. I get exhausted just thinking about everything he's done.

He has also picked on his brother. Non-stop. Shaun took it for awhile, but finally let go tackled Jordan...which led to tears...and drama...and whining. I was SO looking forward to Chris coming home, thinking that we'd take the kids swimming or to the park. Anything to get a little energy out!

Five o'clock came. Then six. And finally he called to let me know that there was an emergency case at the hospital, and that he'd be working late. Its now after 11, and he's finally on his way home. The kids are in bed. 1/2 of them are sleeping. I bet you can guess which one's still awake!


I'm about to give myself a dose of Benedryl so I can go to sleep at a decent hour myself. I'm ready to get this day behind me!

Addiction

I have a new one. Words with Friends. If you have an iPhone, Blackberry, or any other kind of phone that is capable, go to your App Store right this minute and download the *free* version. Then join me in a friendly game of Scrabble. Search for my user name...Erin012...and challenge me! Your chances of winning are fairly good, as I stink at this game. But its only my first day! I think my problem is that I'm too impatient...and I don't like to think about things for too long. Whatever. I still have fun!

My good friend Halston turned me on to this game today. Actually-if I'm going to be totally truthful-she took my phone from me (during a nursing home visitation with our church), downloaded the app, and even chose my user name for me. Some might say she's a tiny bit controlling...but that's an issue for a whole different post. :) Kidding! I love her! Chris and I have had a game going with her since around noon today. Part of the beauty of Words with Friends is that it's self-paced. Players can take thier turns when they have a spare minute, or they can wait hours in between turns if they're stumped. One can even play while driving, but I don't recommend it. Ahem.

So, today after I had been engaged (off and on, of course!) in an intense game of Scrabble for about 5 hours when the family and I arrived at Shaun's karate class. When we walked inside and made our way past the reception desk to our seats, I overheard the receptionist, Michelle, saying something to the tune of "...Words with Friends. Its free! Its so addictive!" Needless to say, I jumped right into that conversation and picked up 2 more user names to challenge, so I can play until my heart is content.

So. Get the app. And challenge me!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to < target="_blank" href="http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

While shopping in Target with my sister and all of our children, I did NOT let my kids bounce around and make lots of noise while I talked to a friend we ran into. The conversation with our old friend did NOT lead to her showing us a picture of her pierced....private parts. That's right. I did NOT stand around in the aisle at Target giggling at extremely inappropriate pictures around lots of strangers. Not Me!

I did NOT change my mind about homeschooling Jordan last week. Then, I did NOT change my mind again. And again. And again. I would never be so indecisive and doubtful about my ability to teach my youngest child. And I did NOT make several calls to local preschools this morning to see if they had any openings for next year. Not Me!

I did NOT unintentionally anger my husband by not inviting him along to a "girls only" movie date to see...you guessed it: Eclipse. When he asked if he could come along anyway, I did NOT tell him no, reasoning that this is a tradition, of sorts. After hearing this, my Hubs did NOT tell me that he would just go purchase IMAX tickets for the same movie and not take me. We did NOT have a mini-argument over this whole issue. I did NOT accuse him of being a "mean, girly, Twilight fan". He did NOT accuse me of being "an obsessed loser". We eventually made up, and at the end of the day, I am NOT getting an opportunity to see the same movie twice, in theaters. I'm NOT extremely excited about this.

Attacks

Satan's attacks. I'm tired of them. Especially his attacks on marriage. Just today, I heard news that 3 couples I know are either separating or divorcing. Three! In one day. And these are Christian couples, too. Each couple currently has or is expecting children. And their marriages are ending.

Its late. After midnight. And I've had a long day, so forgive me if this is jumbled and random and full of grammatical errors. But I have to write, because I'm mad. Fuming MAD at the devil. I. Hate. Him. I hate what he's doing to marriages.

The three couples I know? They're as different as night and day. They come from different steps on the social ladder. They are different ages. Have different interests. They do have one thing in common, though. The issue behind each separation is pornography. Yup. The big "P" word. I know, I know. These are Christians! Christians don't struggle with porn! Wrong!

A few weeks ago, I found one of those "read through the Bible" programs. This one goes through the Bible chronologically. I'm currently reading in Job. I read this passage earlier in the week. Job 1:6-7 from The Message Bible:

One day, when the angels came to report to God, Satan, who was the Designated Accuser, came along with them. God singled out Satan and said, "What have you been up to"? Satan answered God, "Going here and there, checking things out on earth".

Wow. Did you hear that? Satan is here...where WE are...checking things out. Checking US out! He knows our weaknesses. Our strengths. Our addictions. He hates marriage. He's out to destroy it. And he's using pornography to accomplish this goal.

I'm going to be completely honest. About 8 years ago, Chris and I struggled with this in our marriage. I know how this can rip a couple apart. The anger. The hurt. The distrust. Thank God, He delivered us from this and healed our marriage. It was hard. Touch and go for awhile. But we made it.

Anyway. I'm mad. I'm mad at the men (and women) who do this and think it doesn't affect their relationships. I'm mad at the devil, who took something meant for GOOD and twisted it into something sinful. I'm just plain mad.

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Last week, I did NOT ignore strict instructions to remain "on campus" for the entire 3 hours of Shaun's Christmas play rehearsal, opting to finish up my Christmas shopping instead. I did NOT receive a cell phone call letting me know that said rehearsal was being dismissed...a full hour early! When I made it back to church, my child was NOT waiting on me at the front door of a nearly-empty church like some rejected orphan. I would never let that happen. NOT ME!

I did NOT have any reason to say this to my husband, as he was getting ready to take Shaun on an outing: "Don't you think he needs to change his clothes? He's been wearing that outfit since Thursday and its filthy!" I would never, never, ever let my children wear (and sleep) in the same clothes from Christmas Eve until the day after Christmas...no matter how hectic the season is. NOT ME!

I did NOT attempt to download an audio book onto my cell phone, only to realize too late that I really didn't know what I was doing. So, now I am NOT stuck with a book that I am having to read instead of listen to...on my cell phone. And I do NOT feel like a big dork about it. NOT ME!

Christmas was last Friday. So there's no reason whatsoever for my house to still be a disaster. I would never allow this mess to carry on for so long. And I would certainly never blog while I should be cleaning it up. NOT ME!

He's gaining!

Weight, that is. Shaun's gaining weight. He's come a long way since last spring, when were were switching meds and having blood tests to see what was up with his weight loss. Since then, a lot has changed.

As most of you know, we've changed Shaun's (and our!) diet to accommodate his food sensitivities. This means that, for the most part, we are : wheat-free, milk-free, high fructose corn syrup-free, MSG free, food dye-free, white potato-free, grape-free, additive-free, preservative-free...and...medication-free! Since May. Yes, it has been tricky. And a pain. We've had screaming matches in the car over where we were NOT going to eat. And I'm sure I've hurt a few well-meaning people's feelings along the way. But it is so worth it.

He is a different child. He has self-control. He can control his anger. He no longer has seizures or mood swings. He isn't extremely hyperactive (most of the time! He's a boy...a little hyperactivity comes with the territory!) He's more out-going.

I wish Chris hadn't lost our camera cord so that I could post a picture of him. His skin tone is healthy. We can no longer count his ribs! He actually eats! His cheeks aren't sunken. He looks great! We've had to buy new pants because he couldn't button the old ones. What a wonderful problem to have, especially when I remember last spring, when he would literally not eat a bite all day long. He weighed 52 pounds back then. So skinny! I just weighed him and now he's up to...74 pounds!

He's healthy, too! Only one cold so far this winter. A huge improvement over winters past, when he'd have a runny nose and cough pretty much the whole winter. I'm so excited to take him in for his 10 year checkup in February. We haven't had the need to visit our doctor since May. I can't wait to see his reaction to all these improvements.

I owe it all to Dr Chris, our homeopathic specialist. And prayer. Of course prayer. I remember praying with Chris last spring for an answer. An answer that didn't involve adding new meds. We were literally watching our child waste away. I didn't realize just how bad he looked until a few weeks ago when I came across some old pictures. Anyway, we prayed hard for God's guidance on what to do. A few days later a friend gave me Dr Chris's name. We went for an appointment, and the rest is history.

I still have trouble believing that Shaun is on no medications and his "symptoms" are still being controlled. At one point he was on seven medications. SEVEN. No wonder he had no appetite! He was being treated for ADHD, Epilepsy, Bipolar Disorder, anxiety, and a sleeping disorder. Turns out the issues he was having were just reactions to certain foods.

Now, I know this may sound bad. But I'm so happy that those lablels are not attached to him anymore. I praise God for it every day. I also get irritated at doctors. Psychiatrists, especially. I don't understand why medication is always the first step in finding solutions for behavior disorders. My child is proof that there are better ways. More complicated ways, perhaps, but better for children. And parents....just because a doctor tells you your child needs medications does NOT mean that you have to do it! Especially psychiatrists. I had to learn this the hard way. Now, I know that some conditions do require medications, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. But sometimes, you need to go with your gut. I was told by our psychiatrist that Shaun would never be able to function normally without medication. And look at him now.

At the beginning of last year, I had started to research alternative solutions for behavioral issues. When I brought it up to Shaun's doctor, she laughed at me. That's right. She laughed and said that homeopathy was ridiculous and didn't work. If I had time, I would love to take Shaun for a visit. I wonder what she would have to say. But, I don't have the time to drive to Buford and wait three hours for a ten-minute appointment. So I'm thinking of sending her a letter instead. Nothing mean, just informative. But I probably will never find the time to do that, either!

So there you have it. I'm off my soap box now. But give me a little time and I'm sure I'll be right up back on it again!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am NOT (healthily) obsessed with The Twilight Saga. Nope. And since I'm NOT obsessed, my 9 year old son has NOT seen the movie and knows nothing about it. Therefore, I did NOT catch my children playing Twilight last week. It also goes without saying that I did NOT overhear these words coming out of my oldest son's mouth while I was eavesdropping on their "play acting" : "Jordan. You can be James. Just give me your arm so that I can throw you down and break the floor". After hearing these words, I most certainly did NOT heave a sigh of relief when I realized that Shaun is totally "Team Edward". NOT ME!

I did NOT adopt my * "Thursday" attire today. Just because I was so, so tired.

I always possess complete control of my children. So NO WAY would I ever turn a blind eye while my 3 year old ran around the house completely nude...just so that I could finish up Shaun's math lesson. NOT ME!

Organization is my middle name. I am totally on top of everything, all the time. So I would NOT forget to check the gas level in our Propane tank...until I felt the hot water run out in the middle of my shower. That's right, I would NOT let us run out of Propane on the coldest weekend of the season. NOT ME!

*See previous post

Blessings to you all!

Thursdays

On Thursdays, my hair will not be styled. I will most likely be wearing a hat with the brim pulled down over my face so that I'm somewhat unrecognizable. I will not be wearing makeup except what may be left over from the night before.

My clothes will be the same ones I wore to church the night before, if they're not dirty. I reason that since I only wore them a few hours the night before, this is okay.

There's a good reason for all this sloppiness: I'm just tired on Thursdays! Thursdays are our hardest days. We stay out late on Wednesday nights. We have church. Its 9 or 9:30 before we leave. Not because service is that long, but because we love our church family and spend time socializing afterwards. When we (finally) leave the building, we usually go eat. El Sombrero is our usual choice...the staff has come to expect us! We go with friends and eat and talk some more. Usually we close out the place.

We usually make it home around 10:30 or 11:00. Chris and I get the kids to bed. Chris goes to sleep himself. I do a load of laundry or read or Facebook because I'm too wired to sleep. I finally make it to bed, but then we have to be up and back at church for Shaun's performing arts class.

So, I'm tired. And maybe I'm a slacker, but I'd much rather spend an extra 30 minutes sleeping than drying my hair. That's just me. I used to stress about this. I even went so far as to try to rush home from church without interacting with anyone in order to get home and into bed earlier. But that doesn't work for us. We love our Wednesday nights. The kids do, too. So we're keeping things the way they are. We'll keep living it up on Wednesday nights and I'll keep looking disheveled and sleepy on Thursdays.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did NOT scream like a scared girl in the Kroger parking lot last night when I was surprised by a well-meaning buggy boy who had walked behind my van to unload my groceries.

I did NOT feed my children leftover Thanksgiving food (again) for supper last night and then sneak off to Subway once they were asleep for Chris's and my own dinner. Because we were NOT sick to death of Thanksgiving food!

I did NOT find that grocery shopping is really enjoyable when listening to your ipod.