Passion

I realized today that, somewhere in the last few months, I've lost my passion. My focus hasn't been where it should be: on Jesus. Always straight on Jesus. This was in no way intentional. Life got in the way, I guess. I was sick for awhile and recovering was trickier than I thought it would be. Then it was *technically* time for school to start. I considered my current situation...headaches, lack of energy, drug-induced confusion and clumsiness...and Chris and I made the decision that school for our family would begin in September instead of August. And then we hit our knees and gave thanks to God for the benefits of homeschooling.

In September we hit the books hard and heavy. The kids were (and still are) learning lots and actually enjoying it enough to not cry about it too much. :) We had a schedule that gave us Fridays off, since we school year-round. Everybody loves this! We began attending a homeschooling co-op at church on Thursdays, which we all really enjoy. Everything was great. But it was also a lot of hard work. Getting lesson plans ready. Planning field trips and library visits. Shaun joined a dance team and is also taking karate again. Routines to learn! Oh! The nursing home ministry that our family is blessed to be a part of...together. We love it! But its also work...songs to choose and rehearse (along with rehearsing for the other 2 routines from other activities). Chris' guitar lessons and band rehearsals. Homework for School of Discipleship and keeping up with the reading for my small group.

I began to get really good at juggling everything! I was doing all of the above and still managing to keep the house decently clean, which is a major, major big deal for me. I was even on a Bible reading plan to read the New Testament in 30 days. But... I was on auto-pilot. Literally. Doing things without really doing them, if that makes any sense. Praying without thinking, reading without comprehending. Auto pilot.

Then, last night, my Hubs had the opportunity to lead worship for our church's middle school ministry. I had never attended one of these services and didn't really know what to expect, as this is a fairly new ministry at our church. I'm so glad that God orchestrated the events of our lives to allow me to be there last night. The message was about Jesus, and how He not only died for us, but because of us. Because of me. He knew each and every sin I would ever commit, and He died for me anyway. Of course, I technically knew this already, but lets just say that it had been quite a while since I had really meditated on it. Towards the end of the sermon, the pastor showed clips of The Passion of the Christ. I hadn't seen that movie in so long. While watching, I became overcome with gratitude for my Savior. And I wasn't the only one. The alter was full of middle school students making commitments to Jesus. It was a great night.

I left church last night with the correct perspective on life once again. And its so nice. Life has a way of taking my "best", and its so easy to lose focus on the important things. I've committed, once again, to not become so busy and wrapped up in my family that I lose sight of my Jesus. My Passion. I'm so grateful that He gives us second (third, fourth, fifth...) chances.