the hatches have been battened...

We're surrounded by tornados tonight. Literally. Storms have been producing tornados all evening, and they're headed our way. One round has passed, and we're waiting on round two. No way am I going to sleep until at least 2:00 a.m. That's when we'll supposedly get the "all clear".

I love a good thunderstorm as well as anyone, but this is worrying me. It was so hot when the kids and I left church tonight... after hearing a sermon on surviving storms, ironically. The mugginess reminded me of the weather the day before a tornado ripped through our town back in 1998.

Ever since, severe weather freaks me out.

At church tonight, people were asked to move down from the balcony section and onto the main floor in case the weather suddenly took a turn for the worst.

The "emergency alert" on the radio came on when the kids and I were on the way home.

My family doesn't have satellite or cable service. Usually, we make do with NetFlix through the Wii and XBox. The Hubs recently purchased one of those newfangled digital antennas for nights such as this. So that we would be able to watch weather reports if needed. Only tonight, it seems that the wind and lightening is causing some major interference- we can't pick up a single channel.

We're watching live on the internet right now. Hearing reports of tornados touching down in several of the nearby small towns. Listening to the wind, rain, and thunder. Keeping our ears open for the warning siren and getting ready to head to the basement if we do. Praying for the safety of our friends and neighbors and for God to grant peace to the families of those who've lost their lives tonight.

I'm also watching Roseanne reruns on NetFlix and playing Words with Friends. Fun, fun times, I tell you.

It just figures that the night I'm actually tired and could probably sleep, I can't.

Did I mention just how much I hate tornado weather?

A few weeks ago, I took the advice of someone very wise and began reading this book by Dr. Kevin Leman:

I began reading this book because we, my husband and I, realized that we were at a strange place with our second child. That strange place being that we really did NOT know what to do with him. We thought we were oh, so experienced in rearing strong-willed boys, but alas... we don't know as much as we thought we did. The things we tried with Shaun just weren't working with Jordan. It became clear a while ago that we were going to need to be creative in "bringing him up in the way that he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it". But what to do?

Spankings didn't work. Taking away toys didn't work. Time-outs were a dismal failure. It seemed that, when he would get in trouble, the satisfaction of doing what he wanted was always worth the fact that he would be in trouble. The old saying is true, by the way. The one about how your children are payback for the way you treated your own parents. I know this because I remember thinking the same exact thing as a teenager. I knew that, for example, if I skipped school I would get caught and be grounded. I was always caught. I have bad luck that way. But. The fun I had when I ditched Mr. Thomas' Free Enterprise class was well worth any pain and suffering I would get later. Sigh. I'm having a whole new respect for my parents lately.

Anyway. I don't want Jordan to be like I was. I want him to do the right thing in the first place. Isn't that what all of us parents want? So, after reading a few chapters of Dr. Leman's book, the Hubs and I decided to give "Reality Discipline" a try. Basically, this means "let the punishment fit the crime". If a child dumps food in the floor, make the child clean it up. If a child breaks a toy, make him pay for a new one. There's no set guidelines on how to discipline for any particular "crime". That's up to us, as parents. It seems pretty cut and dry, right? That's what we thought. And we were doing pretty well with our new strategy.

Until the night that Jordan got scissors and cut not only his own hair, but his own eyelashes. Why, you're wondering? I wondered that too. In fact, I asked Jordan that very question. I mean, I understand the cutting hair thing. Lots of kids do that. But eyelashes? I asked him why and he replied, "Because I don't like them". Oh. Well, of course. What was I thinking?

So there we were. We knew we had to discipline him, but HOW?

A little while later, someone commented that Jordan's hair was slightly uneven and asked if he had cut it. We said yes, he had. Very calmly. And then Jordan piped up with, "Well, I guess I'll just have to go get another haircut at Wal-Mart".

Ah. So that was his motive. Pretty genius of him, actually. He wanted a haircut, but knew that it wasn't time for him to get a haircut. So he did a wack job on his own hair. Thinking that we would take him to get it fixed.

And that's when it hit me. I explained to Jordan that it wasn't time for him to get a new haircut and that haircuts cost money. Then I informed him that he would not be getting a haircut until he did chores to make money to pay for it himself.

And that's what we're doing. Today he picked up sticks in the yard and swept off the car port. Yesterday he scrubbed the bath tub. Tomorrow he will do something else. Not quite sure yet. How long does to take to earn ten dollars, anyway?

So that's our adventure with "Reality Discipline" thus far.

On a different note, I'm really upset about him cutting his eyelashes. He looks so ridiculous. I hope they grow back.

Jordan has Ectodermal Dysplasia. His fingernails and toenails take forever to grow. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had to trim them. I'm praying every day that his eyelashes don't have the same problem. I'm thinking not, since his hair grows at a normal rate.

Grrr. I want to hang him up by his toenails every time I think about him cutting his eyelashes!

Easter 2011

Easter was great this year. We're all wiped out- in a good way. Our church's Easter production, AD33, was this weekend. Shaun was part of it. I'm so proud of him. He sang and danced his heart out in all five services.

The four of us spent Good Friday night together with my mom at church for the performance's opening night. We were blown away. Well. The adults were blown away. Jordan was kind of scared. Kept asking if Satan was real and whether or not the spears and whips used to beat Jesus were fake or not. I found it rather strange that he reacted this way. Jordan was in the performance himself last year and showed no fear whatsoever of Satan. In fact, he kind of liked him. He sat through all of the dress rehearsals for this years show and wasn't scared at all. But during the real thing, scared.

Maybe he's finally catching on to what Easter's all about.

We found a sitter for Jordan during Saturday's two performances. He had a great time with his grandmas while Chris and I spent time with family members watching the play. Again, we were blown away. On the way home Saturday night I realized that I had forgotten all about the boys' Easter gifts. We don't really do the Easter Bunny, but we like to get the kids a little something on Easter. Not only had I forgotten to purchase the gifts, but I had also forgotten to budget for them. Thankfully, my sweet Hubs did remember. He dropped us off at home and headed to Wal-Mart to see if there were any chocolate bunnies and Robin Eggs left.

Just in case anyone cares, Robin Eggs are my weakness. My favorite Easter treat. And Chris bought me my own bag. Of course, he bought plenty of treats for the boys, too.

Today was church again, bright and early. Shaun had two more performances to go, Jordan had class, and Chris had to play some music. I was scheduled to man the info desk for first service but was able to make it upstairs for the last showing of AD33.

After church we went to Granny's house. It was nice to spend an afternoon with my family. We ate, talked, had an egg hunt, and watched the kids play.

We're back home now, and it seems as if they kids still have Easter fever. Jordan just came into my room and, in his rough and tough Pilate voice, ordered me to "Get these Pharisees out of my sight. They are a petulant."

And let's not forget Shaun and his Satan impersonation: "I will cloud their minds and harden their hearts. They will kill you. I will kill you!"

Wow. Why couldn't they quote John the Beloved instead?

Its been a great Easter.

Hallelujah to our Risen King. Nothing is missing, and nothing is broken. He is alive!

Here are some pictures from our weekend.

Shaun and his friend Scotty. The demon-possessed boy. :)

Goofing off on opening night.

The boys on Easter morning.

Shaun and his choir director. He loves her!

The packed house Saturday night. Over 20 thousand people came during the five services. Hundreds were saved!

The cousins after the big egg hunt.

its scary, how well he knows me.

So, Jordan is going through a phase right now. He has suddenly decided that he hates riding in his car seat with a passion. Whenever its time to get in the car, he jumps in and buckles himself into Shaun's seat. The seat without a car seat. Of course, we always insist that he move back into his seat before we move the car an inch.

And he does eventually surrender and buckle himself into his seat. But not before he begs and pleads to be able to ride sans car seat. Lately, he has also taken to bribing.

Take, for example, this conversation we had a few days ago:

Jordan: "Oh Mommy, please can I just ride not in my car seat?"

Me: "Absolutely not. You'd better get buckled up in your seat before you get disciplined."

Jordan: "What about if you just let me ride without my car seat and I get you a surprise?"

Me: "Sorry, but you MUST always ride in your seat. Its the law. If the police see you riding without your seat, Mommy could go to jail. And if we had an accident and you weren't in your seat, you would could be killed. So get in your seat. Now."

Jordan: "Don't you want a surprise? If you just let me ride in Shaunie's seat, I'll get you a good surprise. And it'll be...(insert adorable little sing-song voice) a new Twilight shirt..."

Its scary, how well he knows me.

waiting room weirdos

I must admit that I usually don't mind sitting around in waiting rooms before a doctors appointment. Of course its an entirely different experience when I'm waiting on an appointment for my kids, but when its my appointment... I use the waiting room time to relax. Read a book. Play Words with Friends. Explore Facebook. Good times.

The past two times I've waited to see my PCP, however, have been anything BUT relaxing. Awkward would be a more appropriate term. Let's see. The first time was back in August. I was still on pain medication for my pesky Meningitis headache, so I couldn't drive. My sister dropped me off at my appointment and went to run errands. I entered the waiting room, signed in, and took a seat. Now. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it "frowned upon" to sit in the chair directly beside someone if there are ten other available chairs in the room? I thought so. I was sitting in my seat and feeling a little dizzy. Plus I had a splitting headache. I had my phone and had just logged onto Facebook when someone came and sat right beside me. Two people waiting in a huge waiting room with many, many other chairs to choose from and this bozo came and sat in the chair beside mine. I glanced up at him and flashed a quick smile just to be polite, then turned my attention back to my phone.

And then he began to talk. And talk and talk and talk to me about his many, many, medical problems. In all honesty, I don't remember much about exactly what he said. I was a little loopy from the meds. The image of this stranger's freshly-operated-on-bloated stomach, unfortunately will be forever engrained in my memory. Yes. I kid you not. He pulled up his shirt to show his stomach to me. Why? I don't know. All I could say was "Wow". Thankfully, my name was called shortly after and I went on with my appointment. When I was finished I walked outside to wait on my sister. Sat down on a bench and then... someone sat down beside me. Yup. It was Stomach Man. What a day.

Yesterday I went back to this doctor for a checkup. Signed in and looked around for a seat. The waiting room was kind of full, but I was still able to get a seat that was not directly beside someone else. Is there anything worse than having to sit right beside some stranger in a waiting room? Its one of my pet peeves. So, I was relieved that there was an empty seat between myself and the other man who was sitting on that row of chairs.

I sat down and took out my phone. Before I could even type in my pass code, the man beside me asked if I was okay. I looked around to be sure he was addressing me. He was. I said sure, I was fine. And he said I looked a little stressed. I told him that no, I was just fine and then once again turned my attention to my phone. Have I mentioned here that I absolutely HATE being forced to make mindless small talk with strangers?

Once again, before I could even sign into Words with Friends, he started up again. Telling me about how he was so stressed because he was going through a divorce and now his blood pressure was high and he couldn't eat or sleep. I told him that when I couldn't sleep last summer my doctor had prescribed Ambien and it had worked like a charm. And I once again tried to turn my attention to my phone, silently wishing for just a little peace and quiet.

But, no.

Strange Man went on to tell me exactly why he's so stressed about his pending divorce. Apparently he was involved in a scam while on vacation in Costa Rica. He was scammed into marrying a woman who doesn't speak English. And, as it turned out, he doesn't speak Spanish. Upon hearing this tidbit of information, I just had to ask how in the world one is able to marry someone who doesn't speak the same language. Strange Man's answer was simple: they used interpreters. But the interpreters lied, you see. Because they were part of the scam. As were the lawyers Strange Man used to attempt to get his new bride out of the country and to her new home in the United States.

He went on and on. About how he proposed to this woman on their first date. About how he was told by the scammers that this girl needed to get out of Costa Rica, and so he agreed to marry a girl he didn't know just for that purpose. About how the girl wasn't part of the scam and was in fact a victim of scam, too. He went on and on about this girl. Finally I suggested that, since he sounded as if he really did love her, maybe he should just stay married and try to work it out. But no, he said. No, because they had gotten married for the wrong reasons. Well, duh.

And then he started in on their wedding night. About the five-hundred-dollar-per-night hotel suite. About how his wife wanted to bring her mother along. About how his new wife kept shying away from coming into the bedroom because... (and imagine him whispering to me as he said this as if we were confidants or something) "... you know, because she thought she wouldn't have to have sex with me". Ew. Awkward isn't the word.

At this point, I began to wonder if this was all a joke.

He talked about more about their wedding night and how wonderful it was once his new wife finally made it back to the bedroom. Gag. Trying once again to put an end to all of this insanity, I suggested again that he seemed to really like this woman and maybe he should just try to work it out. He sighed and said that her age was another thing that people were giving him flack about. That's when he asked me to guess his age. I gave him a doubtful look and he assured me that I wouldn't hurt his feelings. I am terrible at guessing ages. I assumed he was around my dad's age, so i guessed fifty or fifty-five. How I wish quick-thinking... I would have guessed eighty-five. Wonder what he would've said about that. Ha! If you're wondering, he is sixty-four years old and his wife is twenty-three. Again- ew.

Thankfully, the nurse called my name at that moment and the whole ordeal was over. I'm still laughing about the strangeness of it all.

tornado of '36

Sunday after church, the kids and I met up with some of our homeschooled friends at the History Center for its monthly Family Day. We love Family Day. We've only been twice, but we're penciling it into our schedule from now on. My kids love history, as do most kids, and Family Day is FREE!

This month the focus was Gainesville's infamous Tornado of 1936. The kids had a ball. Jordan is especially into tornadoes lately, since he's become fond of The Wizard of Oz. We watched a movie that showed actual footage from this deadly tornado, looked at exhibits, and Shaun even participated in some crafts. I was thrilled about this, as he is like his mama... not crafty or into art at all. But he seemed to have fun making a weather vane and some bamboo wind chimes for our porch.

Rachel the Great and her family joined us on this excursion, and she helped me out by following Jordan around so that I could visit with her mom and watch Shaun being crafty.

The reason I needed someone to follow Jordan around was because he discovered a checker board that was set up in an old fashioned general store exhibit. The problem with this was that he was determined to play checkers but several teen girls were already there in the midst of a game... and they weren't moving for nothin'. Seriously, they stayed put for close to an hour while Jordan hovered around saying things like, "Oh, I just wish I could play that checker game". My youngest child is nothing if not persistent.

And yes, his persistence finally paid off and he was able to play himself in some checkers.

Here are some shots from our day:

Jordan checking out the tornado exhibits. They held his attention for quite a while. Shocking, eh?

Shaun with his weather vane.


Shaun with Keri-lyn and Rhema. Learning about weather.

Gainesville is full of these silly chickens... I just don't understand them.

Random pictures of my kids at a recent birthday party

I love seeing them happy.

Shaun's eleventh birthday party

We came together with friends and family a few weeks ago to celebrate Shaun's eleventh birthday. 19 (!) of his closest friends met for a game of bowling and then we drove down the street to Stevie B's to have pizza.

This was, hands down, the easiest and most cost-efficient party I've ever thrown. I'm so thankful that I have creative friends who dream up fantastic party ideas for me that do not break our budget. Everyone had a blast, there was no cleanup or decorating, and the whole four-hour shebang only cost about eighty dollars. You really can't beat that!

Everyone had a great time. Especially Shaun. I don't think he stopped smiling the entire night.

Once again, my sweet friend Rachel was kind enough to take pictures for me so that I could focus on the party. Here is some of her work:

Its true... my children and their friends are obsessed with Star Wars.

On how Shaun melted my heart

Shaun's co-op class was assigned a "why I love my mom" type worksheet. The idea was for the children to present these to all of their mom's at our end of the year tea last week. Since we had to miss the tea, opting for a fun-filled day in the Emergency Room with Shaun's bruised knee-cap instead, I received mine yesterday.

And my heart is still mushy.

Here's what it said:

To My Teacher and Mom

You're a Great Teacher Because...

You believe... in me.

You show... me kindness.

You tell... me good things.

You always... do good things for me.

You take me... to the movies.

You help me... do things.

You never... stop loving me.

You let me... play XBox games.

You are the best... mom in the world.

But most of all, you're a great teacher because... you support me.

I got a little teary-eyed just typing it up again.

One of the (many) reasons Chris and I decided to homeschool Shaun was because of his self-esteem. When he was in public school, his sense of self-worth was non-existent. I'm not posting this to bash the school system or to say that his teachers were no good. We always had wonderful teachers who did the best they could with what they had to work with. I can honestly say that every teacher and para-pro we worked with genuinely cared for my child and wanted the best for him.

The negative issues, however, were still there. We agonized over the decision to pull Shaun out. Technically, I agonized while Chris waited for me to come to my senses. He had felt, from the time Shaun was in kindergarten, that we should be homeschooling. He has such faith in me! I worried that I wasn't qualified... I only have 1/2 of a degree, and its in Social Work instead of Early Childhood Education. I'm not known for either my patience or my organizational skills. And truthfully (this is so hard to admit!), my children just kind of get on my nerves sometimes. I love them and I'm so glad they're mine, but we can really get under each other's skin.

I actually fought against the whole concept of homeschooling for three years. I began to play this game with God. We'd try something new with Shaun at school and I'd say, "Okay Lord. If this plan doesn't work, then we'll bring him home". And of course, the plan never worked! It was around this time two years ago that I finally surrendered. We officially became a homeschooling family. I sent in our paperwork and almost vomited because I was still so unsure of myself.

And here we are, two years later. I won't lie. Its been hard. We've fought. Cried. Said things we've regretted. Made tons of mistakes. Felt like throwing in the towel. But its also been so worth it all to see how Shaun is growing. The educational stuff is nice. Math and reading have improved a lot. Writing is still not a strong point, but we'll get there.

Its even more meaningful to me to see how much Shaun has learned about life... about himself. He's becoming his own person. Yes, we still go through seasons of tough stuff, but his self-esteem is soaring compared to what it used to be. He's more out-going. He likes to interact with others. And the kindness of his heart simply amazes me.

I was so touched when I read his paper yesterday. To know that he thinks I'm kind to him. That I tell him good things and believe in him. To see him express that he knows I'll never stop loving him and that I support him. Every mother wants her child to know these things, but sometimes I feel as if my kids don't. Sometimes its so easy to get caught up in all the negative things that happen during our days... breaking up scuffles, having to enforce punishments, pointing out mistakes in school work... After doing all that I can forget to say something good. Like how brilliant both of my children are. How glad I am that God chose to give them to me. And how I love them with all my heart.

I'm so thankful that, once again, God has shown me confirmation that we're doing the right thing for Shaun. And I'm happy that He used Shaun himself to do it.