A few weeks ago, I took the advice of someone very wise and began reading this book by Dr. Kevin Leman:

I began reading this book because we, my husband and I, realized that we were at a strange place with our second child. That strange place being that we really did NOT know what to do with him. We thought we were oh, so experienced in rearing strong-willed boys, but alas... we don't know as much as we thought we did. The things we tried with Shaun just weren't working with Jordan. It became clear a while ago that we were going to need to be creative in "bringing him up in the way that he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it". But what to do?

Spankings didn't work. Taking away toys didn't work. Time-outs were a dismal failure. It seemed that, when he would get in trouble, the satisfaction of doing what he wanted was always worth the fact that he would be in trouble. The old saying is true, by the way. The one about how your children are payback for the way you treated your own parents. I know this because I remember thinking the same exact thing as a teenager. I knew that, for example, if I skipped school I would get caught and be grounded. I was always caught. I have bad luck that way. But. The fun I had when I ditched Mr. Thomas' Free Enterprise class was well worth any pain and suffering I would get later. Sigh. I'm having a whole new respect for my parents lately.

Anyway. I don't want Jordan to be like I was. I want him to do the right thing in the first place. Isn't that what all of us parents want? So, after reading a few chapters of Dr. Leman's book, the Hubs and I decided to give "Reality Discipline" a try. Basically, this means "let the punishment fit the crime". If a child dumps food in the floor, make the child clean it up. If a child breaks a toy, make him pay for a new one. There's no set guidelines on how to discipline for any particular "crime". That's up to us, as parents. It seems pretty cut and dry, right? That's what we thought. And we were doing pretty well with our new strategy.

Until the night that Jordan got scissors and cut not only his own hair, but his own eyelashes. Why, you're wondering? I wondered that too. In fact, I asked Jordan that very question. I mean, I understand the cutting hair thing. Lots of kids do that. But eyelashes? I asked him why and he replied, "Because I don't like them". Oh. Well, of course. What was I thinking?

So there we were. We knew we had to discipline him, but HOW?

A little while later, someone commented that Jordan's hair was slightly uneven and asked if he had cut it. We said yes, he had. Very calmly. And then Jordan piped up with, "Well, I guess I'll just have to go get another haircut at Wal-Mart".

Ah. So that was his motive. Pretty genius of him, actually. He wanted a haircut, but knew that it wasn't time for him to get a haircut. So he did a wack job on his own hair. Thinking that we would take him to get it fixed.

And that's when it hit me. I explained to Jordan that it wasn't time for him to get a new haircut and that haircuts cost money. Then I informed him that he would not be getting a haircut until he did chores to make money to pay for it himself.

And that's what we're doing. Today he picked up sticks in the yard and swept off the car port. Yesterday he scrubbed the bath tub. Tomorrow he will do something else. Not quite sure yet. How long does to take to earn ten dollars, anyway?

So that's our adventure with "Reality Discipline" thus far.

On a different note, I'm really upset about him cutting his eyelashes. He looks so ridiculous. I hope they grow back.

Jordan has Ectodermal Dysplasia. His fingernails and toenails take forever to grow. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had to trim them. I'm praying every day that his eyelashes don't have the same problem. I'm thinking not, since his hair grows at a normal rate.

Grrr. I want to hang him up by his toenails every time I think about him cutting his eyelashes!