On what I'm thankful for

As promised, here is my deep and sentimental Thanksgiving post.

1. I'm thankful for my children. In light of recent events, I realize that I take them for granted. Sometimes I get so caught up in doing "my things" that I make them feel as if they're in the way, or a bother. Not true at all. I'm so thankful for Shaun's strong will and Jordan's tenacious spirit. I'm thankful that they're compassionate and that they love the Lord. I'm thankful for Shaun's salvation and I'm thanking God in advance for Jordan's...even though it hasn't happened yet.

2. I'm thankful for my husband. Yes, we really get under each others' skin sometimes...but I've realized you can't argue so passionately without being in love. I'm thankful he still loves me, no matter what I look like. I'm thankful he forgives me when I say hormonal things. I'm thankful that he loves Jesus and is using his talents to glorify Him. I'm thankful that he is setting a Godly example for our boys.

3. I'm thankful for my family. My parents- who raised me to love Jesus and taught me to put the needs of others before the needs of myself. I'm thankful for a father who will pray and pray for his grandson's health until he gets a miracle. I'm thankful for a mother who is always there for me, no matter how badly I mess up. I'm thankful for my grandparents. For my Mamaw up in Heaven- that she taught me how to pray and how to show mercy to others. I'm thankful that I can honestly say that she was one of my best friends. I'm thankful that my children had the honor of knowing her. I'm thankful for my Granny and my Pawpaw, who are still with us on Earth. I'm thankful that I was always able to sit with them during church. I'm thankful for the way they love me and take care of me even now that I'm all grown up. I'm thankful that they taught me the importance of hard work and the value of laughter. I'm thankful for my sister, who is also my best friend. I love that we can look at each other sometimes and just know what the other one's thinking. I'm thankful for the times she's let me cry on her shoulder, telling me that everything was going to be okay. I'm thankful for all of our inside jokes and that we can hang out forever and still have fun. I'm thankful for all of my cousins and my aunts. Even though we don't see each other as much as we used to, we're still closer than most families are. I'm thankful for the way we forgive each other and keep on loving. I'm thankful for the way we come together and support each other when something goes wrong.

4. I'm thankful for my church. For a pastor who preaches God's word in black and white...and who doesn't worry about offending his congregation while doing so. For a ministry team who visited me and prayed over me when I was sick in the hospital. I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by fellow worshipers who aren't afraid to dance around a little, cry, and raise their hands. I'm thankful that I've been taught the importance of prayer and fasting--and to expect miracles when doing so. I'm thankful to belong to a church in which its common to witness people praying for each other in the hallway...in empty classrooms...in the restrooms...in the elevator...basically, wherever a person can find a quiet place. I'm thankful that my four year old is learning so much about the Bible. I'm thankful that he is being taught scriptures and can quote them at any given time. I'm thankful that, the other day as we were walking to our car, Jordan looked up at me and said "You know what Mom? I can always count on God". I'm thankful that I've witnessed both of my boys become totally lost and unaware of their surroundings during worship time. I'm thankful for a wonderful children's ministry that teaches our oldest son not only about the Bible, but about the importance of a relationship with God. And I'm thankful that Chris and myself are able to be a part of this ministry.

5. I'm thankful for my friends. My church friends, who know when I need prayer without even having to ask. My homeschooling mom friends, who have become kindred spirits to me. I'm thankful for their constant love and support. I'm thankful that I can be having a bad day, call one of them up, and know that she understands what I'm going through. I'm thankful that most of these conversations end in prayer. I'm thankful for these moms and their familes who have become like second families to my family. I'm thankful for friends who know when I'm depressed and decide to invite me over for a Greek Salad dinner...because its my favorite. I'm thankful that our husbands let us have Thursday nights to hang out together, and I'm thankful for the laughter and the conversations we share.
I'm thankful that when a tragedy occurs, or even simply a sickness or a health issue, we come together and do what we can to whoever's hurting....and we all know the others would do the same for us.
I'm thankful for friends who've seen me at my absolute best and my absolute worst- and who still like me anyway. I'm thankful for my Twilight friends and the fun we have together. I'm thankful that we can laugh about how odd it is that we're still friends after all these years, but never get together unless we're doing something Twilight related. I'm thankful for all of the silly fun we have. I'm thankful for my small group friends. I'm thankful that we're all so different but have come to realize that many of our problems are the same. I'm thankful that we pray for each other and laugh together. I'm thankful for our leader, who is not afraid to call us out when we're wrong.

6. I'm thankful for my salvation and that I know I'm going to be in Jesus' arms one day. I'm so thankful that He really knows the thoughts and desires of my heart...the good and the bad...and He chose me anyway. I'm thankful I'm forgiven. And I'm thankful for God's unconditional grace when I mess up.

7. I'm thankful for all the "material" things. I'm thankful I have nice clothes to wear. A car to drive. A house to live in. I'm thankful for my books, my bed, and my children's toys. I'm thankful that even if we don't necessarily have everything we want, there has never been a time when we didn't have what we need.

And many, many more. I'm blessed beyond words.

On how I'm proud of my boys

My family lost a good friend this week.

Gabe Jeffries- you are already missed! My family loved you. I loved your smile and your ever-positive attitude. My children were always so excited to see you EVERYWHERE...in the parking lot at church playing "light saber" with your parking stick, at Stevie B's, and even at Zaxby's. Chris loved it when you popped in on his guitar lessons, just to say hi. I loved that you were so kind to me during my little emotional meltdown in the park. Yesterday Shaun commented that he was sure you are now in Heaven...he could tell just by being around you. I totally agree.

-------------------------------------------

I've been so proud of my children this week. For their compassion towards their friends. For wanting to pray. For not being ashamed to cry. Even Jordan, at 4 years old has amazed me. I was reluctant to bring him on our visit to the Jeffries' house yesterday. Mainly because he can be so blunt...which can be perceived as unkind or callous. I just didn't want him saying things about Gabe's death that would upset the other children. What I witnessed was him offering to share his light saber with his friend and whispering "I'm sorry about your brother" as he passed it off. Of course I cried a little, because that's what I do lately. :)

Shaun spent a good deal of time during our visit sitting beside his friend Max on a recliner, just listening to him talk about the accident. I can really tell my boy's growing up. He just listened, which I hope was helpful to his friend. Shaun mentioned to me on the ride over that he was afraid to see his friends because maybe they were crying, or maybe he would say the wrong thing to them. I told him to pray...and that God would give him the words to say and the actions to do. Whatever he prayed, God definitely heard him, because I couldn't have asked for more in his behavior.

Thank you God, for giving my children a compassionate spirit.

And it just keeps getting sadder.

My good friend Rebecca's elsdest son, Gabe, was killed in a car accident this afternoon. Please pray for her and the rest of her precious family.

Once again, no words.

Its s sad day.

A few weeks ago I requested prayer for my "baby" cousin Alex and her unborn baby, Emory. Sadly, Emory passed away yesterday just minutes after his birth. My heart is breaking for Alex and her mother, who are currently at a hospital in Dallas, TX. They travelled there in hopes that Emory would be able to undergo surgery on his little heart. I think they will remain in Dallas until Friday, until Emory can be cremated and brought back home to Georgia. Please lift this family up in prayer. I cannot begin to imagine going through something like this at only sixteen years old.

Despite everything, I still believe that my God has plans to make good out of everything His children endure.

No other words right now. Just praying for peace and comfort for my family.

Why I feel like poo.

I haven't been feeling well lately. Again. In fact, I haven't felt good since the whole Meningitis episode back in July. I finally took the advice of two of my friends and saw a new doctor this week. Dr French. I chose her because she uses a blend of traditional and homeopathic medicine....my kind of girl! We talked...and talked and talked about how I was feeling:

Irritability? Check!


Insomnia? Check!

Mood swings (despite the use of anti-depressants)? Check!


Fatique? Check!


Difficulty losing weight? Check!


Irregular/difficult periods? Check!


Body aches and pains? Check!


Hair loss? Check!


Anxiety? Check!


Feelings of depression (once again...despite the use of antidepressants)? Check!


Check! Check! Check!

Seriously. I "checked" every single one of the symptoms that Dr French threw out at me. Then she asked me questions about my life. I told her about my children and their special issues. About the homeschooling. About my marriage and what all Chris and I have overcome in the past. After the entire gory story of my life was out on the table, Dr French asked if I'd experienced any illnesses over the past year.

Well, yes. I had bacterial meningitis over the summer.

Dr French leans over her desk with the look in her eye. The look of pity. The look I've learned to deal with after seeing it multiple times a day when I was sick last summer. I winced while I waited for the "oooh, you poor thing" that everyone usually says.

But. Dr French makes eye-contact with me and begins educating me on the adrenal gland. About how when life's little stressers pop up, my adrenal gland should be releasing something...maybe cortisol?...to help me cope. And apparrentally it hasn't been doing its job.

Dr French's more simple explanation was, "Your adrenal gland has died. But it can be revived with hormones."

At this point, I had a question: "Will my hair grow back?" This may seem shallow, but I'm really depressed about how thin my hair has become. It used to be so thick it would take hours to dry. Now I can dry it in about 10 minutes. A few years ago, I had to use 2 ponytail scrunchies just to reign it all in. Now, I can hold all of my hair back with a single bobby pin. People are starting to notice, which bothers me a little. I guess with my thin hair, pale complexion, dark circles under my eyes, and general worn out appearence, I just look like someone who's sick. And I hate that. But it is what it is, and it can be fixed. At least its not permenant.

So, Dr French and I made a plan. Next week I go back for bloodwork and to drop off the kit containing my saliva test. Which is as gross as it sounds- trust me. Then, I'll wait 3 weeks for the results to come back. When they're back, I'll schedule an examination and appointment to go over the results of the tests, and to discuss which hormones I may need to fix the problems. These hormones, which are naturally derived from a yam, are said to work wonders on people with symptoms like mine. I guess you could say that I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm desperate to feel like ME again. I'm turning 30 next month...I don't want to do that feeling like an old granny!

So there you have it. Why I've been feeling like poo. Why I've been sleeping late, crying, watching my hair fall out by the handfulls, aching, and freaking out over the tiniest little things.

That stinkin' adrenal gland. I'm trying to remember who's really in controll here. And I'm praying for a complete healing.

A light-hearted, shallow Thanksgiving post...

...which will be followed at some point by a sentimental, deep Thanksgiving post. But tonight, I feel like being a little silly.

So, I'm thankful for:

...NetFlix. Because it keeps me company when I can't sleep.

...my iPhone. Because it introduced me to Words with Friends. And it allows me to snap cute photos all day long, even though the quality's not great.

...Facebook. Because it gives me a glimpse of the "outside" when I'm inside the house teaching my children.

...The Office. Because nothing makes me laugh harder late at night than Michael Scott.

...my Thursday night clique. Because I've never belonged to a clique before and it makes me feel so special.

...feta cheese. Because its just so darned good...and it only has 1 carb per serving.

...Twilight. Because its brought me so much mindless happiness over the past year.

...the person who invented text messaging. Because text messaging has eliminated hours and hours of mind-numbing small talk from my life.

...Call of Duty. Because it occupies my Hubs for so many hours, which gives me some free time.

...Wal-Mart. Because its open 24 hours. This enables me to meet interesting people while grocery shopping at midnight.

...homeschooling. Because it allows me to sleep intil 9:00 am most mornings.

...Teen Mom. Because Catelyn, Maci, Amber, and Farrah make me feel so mature.

And many, many more. But I have to stop now, because I can hear Jordan and he's supossed to be asleep...and even though I'm mildly annoyed right now, I'm so, SO thankful my children have the ability to get in and out of bed by themselves. :)

Overwhelmed

I think we all (everyone who comes into contact with me on a daily basis) know that I'm a little emotional here lately. Maybe its a hormone problem. Maybe I need some vitamins. Who knows. I'm weepy and moody. And no, I'm NOT pregnant. I'm going to a new doctor soon to get it all straigtened out. But in the meantime, I feel like an absolute basket case.

Last week, I had a mini breakdown. At the park. Out in public. In front of my children. And the friends of my children. And the mom of the friends of my children. Thank goodness said mom is a good friend of mine. Otherwise, the situation would have been extremely awkward. Bwahahaha!

Anyway, while I was a blubbering, tearful mess, I tried to explain to my friend exactly how I felt about Shaun and all of his "issues". I think my exact words were:

"...its like a cycle. Most of the time I can handle things and they don't bother me. But sometimes its just....just...."

And then my sweet friend piped in with:

"...overwhelming?"

Yes. YES! Exactly. Sometimes...not all the time...but sometimes....I'm just plain overwhelmed. With everything. Not only by my children, but by everything. I'm coming out of a really tough week. I've had to confront people. Which I really, really do NOT like to do. We've had some financial...surprises. Not the good kind! I don't feel good. And my hair's falling out. Pretty depressing stuff. I guess I'm in a funk

We sang a song at church last Wednesday night about praising God even when things are tough. How praise will confuse the enemy. So that's what I'm trying to do- praising and praying that tomorrow and the coming week are better.

And starting tomorrow, I'm definitely going to follow the good example of some of my bloggy friends and post some "thankful" blogs. Promise. ")

On when I had the Wierdest Dream Ever

I had a *crazy* dream the other night. Actually, it occurred sometime between 5:30 and 8:00 am. And I want to remember it, so I'm writing it down here. Enjoy!

My sister and I needed a haircut. She had found a flier advertising $20 haircuts....at some fancy schmancy salon that we could never, ever afford to go to, unless we had a coupon or something like that. This flier stated that "new clients only" could receive a $60 haircut for only $20. Awesome. But, the only problem was that I knew we wouldn't be considered "new clients" because we had visited this particular salon before, when they were having "new talent" haircuts for cheap. (Which we really did, back in March. Creepy!)

I tried to explain this to my dear sister, but she wouldn't listen. So off we went. For some reason, she had to stop at a lawyers office on the way. So we stopped. In real life, the building for her lawyer's office is a car repair shop about five minutes from my house. In my dream, it still looked like the car repair shop, but inside were lawyers just working away. And there just happened to be a cheap hair salon adjoining the office. It was kinda like Great Clips, but it was called "Cheap Clips".

While she was discussing unknown matters with her lawyer, I waited in the waiting room, where I struck up a conversation with the receptionist. By this time in my dream, the lawyers office had turned into my doctors office. Anyway, I was telling the receptionist about our hair appointment. She told me that this flier was a fraud, and that she had tried to go to the same salon for a $20 haircut and it wound up costing her a fortune because of the "hidden costs". Ha ha! So, I walked through the sliding glass door into the "Cheap Clips" to make a hair appointment that I could afford! I wrote my name in the registration book and the only stylist there said it would be a few minutes. So I waited. (By the way, the inside of Cheap Clips looked exactly like the inside of the car repair shop, except for one of those hair cutting chairs.)

I had been waiting a few minutes when I noticed my sister driving away in her car, leaving me behind. I ran outside and caught up with her, using my super-fast running skills. I tried to explain to her once again about the fraudy hair salon flier, but she wouldn't listen. Again. We drove to the salon, where they wouldn't even see us because we weren't "new clients". Ugh.

Back to the car we went, and determined to get a haircut, we drove back to "Cheap Clips", where I received a tongue-lashing for not keeping my earlier appointment. The woman stylist from earlier in the dream disappeared and my hair was cut by a man. A very nice man who also cut my sister's hair. During the middle of my haircut, my friend Cynthia came into the Cheap Clips. She was wearing the exact same "TEAM EDWARD" shirt that I was wearing. I leapt from my chair and we had a frenzied conversation about how we each didn't know that the other was a Twilight fan and what a big coincidence it was and how she needed to come to my house for my Eclipse viewing party. (Which I am really having!) Then she left and I continued on with my haircut.

After our cuts, when we were back in the car, my sister starts showing me photos on her phone of me getting my hair cut....by Steve Carell. I began to freak out, exclaiming that I didn't even realize it was Steve Carell who was cutting my hair. I went on and on about how nice he was and what a great job he was did, and of course I updated my Facebook status with "...just had my hair cut by Steve Carell!". I call my dad to tell him and he asks "Has he told Hollywood yet that he's leaving to be a hair dresser at Cheap Clips?"

And that's all I remember. I quite enjoyed that dream! But I'm thinking that maybe I'm watching too many of "The Office" reruns on NetFlix before bed.

Please Pray!

I have a prayer request today. Please pray hard for my cousin Alex and her unborn baby, Emory. Emory has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. As of right now, Alex is in the hospital where Emory can be monitored. They are waiting for amnio results, which should be back either tonight or tomorrow. From what I understand, the amnio is checking for genetic abnormalities. If no abnormalities are found, Alex and Emory could be eligible for an experimental surgery in Boston to repair Emory's heart valves in utero. Because this procedure is experimental, the doctors are picky about their patients, so they may decide not to take this case, even with positive amnio results. If the amnio tests postive for genetic abnormalities, I think the doctors will continue to monitor mom and baby until birth. The doctors are not giving the family very positive outlooks.

There are so many opportunities for miracles here! Please join me in praying for Emory's complete and total healing.