Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Last week, I did NOT ignore strict instructions to remain "on campus" for the entire 3 hours of Shaun's Christmas play rehearsal, opting to finish up my Christmas shopping instead. I did NOT receive a cell phone call letting me know that said rehearsal was being dismissed...a full hour early! When I made it back to church, my child was NOT waiting on me at the front door of a nearly-empty church like some rejected orphan. I would never let that happen. NOT ME!

I did NOT have any reason to say this to my husband, as he was getting ready to take Shaun on an outing: "Don't you think he needs to change his clothes? He's been wearing that outfit since Thursday and its filthy!" I would never, never, ever let my children wear (and sleep) in the same clothes from Christmas Eve until the day after Christmas...no matter how hectic the season is. NOT ME!

I did NOT attempt to download an audio book onto my cell phone, only to realize too late that I really didn't know what I was doing. So, now I am NOT stuck with a book that I am having to read instead of listen to...on my cell phone. And I do NOT feel like a big dork about it. NOT ME!

Christmas was last Friday. So there's no reason whatsoever for my house to still be a disaster. I would never allow this mess to carry on for so long. And I would certainly never blog while I should be cleaning it up. NOT ME!

Memorable Moments...

...from our Christmas Candlelight Service last night:

* Shaun being sent to "makeup". This was quite funny. All the makeup he needed, as a shepherd, was some powder, lip balm, and a little bronzer. Apparently that was too much for his comfort zone. He looked up at the makeup artist through squinted eyes and, while she was applying his powder, whispered fiercely "You'd better not make me look like a girl".

* Chris' parents joined us for the service. Enough said. Huge answered prayer.

* My parents also joined us for the service. I hardly ever get to be in church with them, so I treasure every time.

* Jordan was in service with us, too, since there was no child care offered. I was a little nervous about this, but he was fine. A little wiggly, but that's it.

* Seeing Shaun up on the "big stage" looking calm and collected, doing what he was supposed to do, not nervous at all. Never mind that five thousand people were watching him. I'm so proud of him!

* Holding Jordan during the lighting ceremony and watching him hold his candle perfectly still with one hand and raise his other hand in praise, without being prompted.

* Almost having my hair burned when Jordan decided he'd been still long enough.

* Almost burning a hole in Jordan's sweater when he decided he wanted to "switch hips". This is harder than it sounds for one to accomplish when holding a burning candle.

* Listening to Shaun give his grandpa a little grief for drinking a beer when we went out to dinner afterwards. Not only the fact that he did this, but the WAY in which he did it...very loving, but matter of fact. I should take some lessons!

It was a great night. A wonderful way to celebrate our Savior's birth. Merry Christmas!

Love Them Like Jesus

"The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home
A child's broken heart
You're holding her hand
You're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
She's desperate for hope
Darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus
Carry her to him
His yoke is easy
His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her
And stay by her side

Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus"


I have a friend. She's lost the love of her life. Although her circumstances are a bit different than the one portrayed in this verse, they're similar, too. Her unborn child will be born in a few months without an earthly father. She's told me several times "My life is ruined. It will never be the same".

She's hurting. Grieving. Doesn't really like to be around people, so I haven't seen her since September. But my heart has been heavy with grief for her. When all this happened, I would dread calling her. Not because I didn't WANT to talk to her. But because I didn't know what to say. The first time we spoke, the night her husband was taken from her, she asked me "Why? Why would God do this to me? We were being faithful to Him. Why?". And of course, I muttered a soft, "I don't know".

I felt inadequate to even talk to her. And baffled. Because I REALLY DON'T KNOW why God would do this to her. Because she was right. They were doing everything right. They were humble. They were obedient. They were faithful. It doesn't make sense to me at all.

But...it doesn't have to. Make sense to ME, that is. Or even her, for that matter. No one will ever know the answer to that question, at least not on this side of Heaven.

So, I'm loving her like Jesus. I still strain for the "right" words to say when I talk with her. But there are no "right" words for this situation. I would love to be able to spout out some deep, knowledgeable insights that would wipe her pain away, but that's just not going to happen. So I check on her. Call her and send texts. Let her know that I love her, and that I'm praying for her. Even if she doesn't answer sometimes. She doesn't have to. Because there are no "right" ways to behave in situations like this.

I have always loved her. Now I'm just trying to love her like Jesus.

Trendy

I've always tried so hard to NOT be...trendy. From middle school on, I barreled in the opposite direction of everything that was liked by everyone else. Music, clothes, books. I purposefully marched to the beat of my own drum. It wasn't all bad. I found some GREAT music that way. Music that most people still haven't heard of and probably never will. I know. I'm too cool for words, right? RIGHT? Anyway.

But. My quest to be "untrendy" also had downsides. As it turns out, I was cheating myself out of some really good things. One being music. Apparently there was a reason that tons and tons of people liked Dave Matthews Band. And Alanis Morrisette. And Jewel, No Doubt, and Pink Floyd. Its good! I know, I know. Duh.

Fast forward 10 years. I used to still play the "untrendy" game. This led me to not totally love bands such as Mercy Me, Casting Crowns, and Third Day. Its not that I didn't like them. I did like the songs I heard on the radio. I just never took the time to listen to the others. And then I got an early Christmas present. My lovely iPhone. And on my iPhone is an iPOD. My Hubs took the liberty of downloading lots and lots of music for me. Some new stuff by little-known artists, but some albums from the "big guys". Mainly : Third Day, Mercy Me, and Casting Crowns.

Casting Crowns. Oh. My. Goodness. How on earth did I ever live without this music? I cannot stop listening. It has ministered to me so much this month. So here's a warning: If you DON'T love Casting Crowns, or you don't WANT to end of loving Casting Crowns, then DON'T read my blog for the next few weeks. Because I'm gonna be blogging and blogging about...you guessed it. Casting Crowns. The songs. The messages. What they mean to me. How they've helped and challenged me.

And how I'm not going to try to be "untrendy" anymore!

Something Right

It occurred to me today that I must be doing Something Right. This realization came in the nick of time! Its been a long week. Stressful and chaotic. I haven't gotten much accomplished in the school or housework department. The children have been "unruly". I haven't been able to sleep. I've been tired and grouchy and the kids have definitely been taking the brunt of my moodiness...and they've retaliated! I guess the old saying that "If Mama aint happy, aint no one happy" is really true.

I've felt like giving up. Throwing the towel in with this whole parenting thing. In the words of a friend, I felt "unqualified". Unqualified at raising "good" kids. Kids who aren't selfish. Who put themselves last and not first. Who are patient, kind, and loving. Not that my children are bad. But its just that I want them to be different. Set apart. I want the world to see Jesus through them. I thought I was missing the mark.

Then today came. And I saw Something Right.

Shaun performed with his homeschool group today at an assisted living home. He did so great! I was so proud. After the performance, the children ran into the audience, to their parents. The way all kids do. Shaun didn't come to me. I sat and watched in amazement as he, totally unprompted, walked up to an elderly resident and hugged her. He talked with her quietly. Listened to what she had to say. He hugged her again, and then moved on to someone else. Same routine. Hugs, soft words, smiles. I had tears in my eyes as I watched him make his way around the room, interacting with these precious people. As he loved on them. Ministered to them. And I have never been more proud. He did all of this before I could tell him what an awesome performer he was. Before I could hug him and tell him how great he was. He put himself last. Something Right.

So, it turns out I haven't missed the mark after all. I'm doing Something Right! I'm not trying to brag on myself. I know that I haven't really done anything except show my kids Jesus. I still make mistakes, lots of them, every day. But I've also got Something Right. Jesus. And my heart is filled with gratitude to Him.

He's gaining!

Weight, that is. Shaun's gaining weight. He's come a long way since last spring, when were were switching meds and having blood tests to see what was up with his weight loss. Since then, a lot has changed.

As most of you know, we've changed Shaun's (and our!) diet to accommodate his food sensitivities. This means that, for the most part, we are : wheat-free, milk-free, high fructose corn syrup-free, MSG free, food dye-free, white potato-free, grape-free, additive-free, preservative-free...and...medication-free! Since May. Yes, it has been tricky. And a pain. We've had screaming matches in the car over where we were NOT going to eat. And I'm sure I've hurt a few well-meaning people's feelings along the way. But it is so worth it.

He is a different child. He has self-control. He can control his anger. He no longer has seizures or mood swings. He isn't extremely hyperactive (most of the time! He's a boy...a little hyperactivity comes with the territory!) He's more out-going.

I wish Chris hadn't lost our camera cord so that I could post a picture of him. His skin tone is healthy. We can no longer count his ribs! He actually eats! His cheeks aren't sunken. He looks great! We've had to buy new pants because he couldn't button the old ones. What a wonderful problem to have, especially when I remember last spring, when he would literally not eat a bite all day long. He weighed 52 pounds back then. So skinny! I just weighed him and now he's up to...74 pounds!

He's healthy, too! Only one cold so far this winter. A huge improvement over winters past, when he'd have a runny nose and cough pretty much the whole winter. I'm so excited to take him in for his 10 year checkup in February. We haven't had the need to visit our doctor since May. I can't wait to see his reaction to all these improvements.

I owe it all to Dr Chris, our homeopathic specialist. And prayer. Of course prayer. I remember praying with Chris last spring for an answer. An answer that didn't involve adding new meds. We were literally watching our child waste away. I didn't realize just how bad he looked until a few weeks ago when I came across some old pictures. Anyway, we prayed hard for God's guidance on what to do. A few days later a friend gave me Dr Chris's name. We went for an appointment, and the rest is history.

I still have trouble believing that Shaun is on no medications and his "symptoms" are still being controlled. At one point he was on seven medications. SEVEN. No wonder he had no appetite! He was being treated for ADHD, Epilepsy, Bipolar Disorder, anxiety, and a sleeping disorder. Turns out the issues he was having were just reactions to certain foods.

Now, I know this may sound bad. But I'm so happy that those lablels are not attached to him anymore. I praise God for it every day. I also get irritated at doctors. Psychiatrists, especially. I don't understand why medication is always the first step in finding solutions for behavior disorders. My child is proof that there are better ways. More complicated ways, perhaps, but better for children. And parents....just because a doctor tells you your child needs medications does NOT mean that you have to do it! Especially psychiatrists. I had to learn this the hard way. Now, I know that some conditions do require medications, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. But sometimes, you need to go with your gut. I was told by our psychiatrist that Shaun would never be able to function normally without medication. And look at him now.

At the beginning of last year, I had started to research alternative solutions for behavioral issues. When I brought it up to Shaun's doctor, she laughed at me. That's right. She laughed and said that homeopathy was ridiculous and didn't work. If I had time, I would love to take Shaun for a visit. I wonder what she would have to say. But, I don't have the time to drive to Buford and wait three hours for a ten-minute appointment. So I'm thinking of sending her a letter instead. Nothing mean, just informative. But I probably will never find the time to do that, either!

So there you have it. I'm off my soap box now. But give me a little time and I'm sure I'll be right up back on it again!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am NOT (healthily) obsessed with The Twilight Saga. Nope. And since I'm NOT obsessed, my 9 year old son has NOT seen the movie and knows nothing about it. Therefore, I did NOT catch my children playing Twilight last week. It also goes without saying that I did NOT overhear these words coming out of my oldest son's mouth while I was eavesdropping on their "play acting" : "Jordan. You can be James. Just give me your arm so that I can throw you down and break the floor". After hearing these words, I most certainly did NOT heave a sigh of relief when I realized that Shaun is totally "Team Edward". NOT ME!

I did NOT adopt my * "Thursday" attire today. Just because I was so, so tired.

I always possess complete control of my children. So NO WAY would I ever turn a blind eye while my 3 year old ran around the house completely nude...just so that I could finish up Shaun's math lesson. NOT ME!

Organization is my middle name. I am totally on top of everything, all the time. So I would NOT forget to check the gas level in our Propane tank...until I felt the hot water run out in the middle of my shower. That's right, I would NOT let us run out of Propane on the coldest weekend of the season. NOT ME!

*See previous post

Blessings to you all!

Thursdays

On Thursdays, my hair will not be styled. I will most likely be wearing a hat with the brim pulled down over my face so that I'm somewhat unrecognizable. I will not be wearing makeup except what may be left over from the night before.

My clothes will be the same ones I wore to church the night before, if they're not dirty. I reason that since I only wore them a few hours the night before, this is okay.

There's a good reason for all this sloppiness: I'm just tired on Thursdays! Thursdays are our hardest days. We stay out late on Wednesday nights. We have church. Its 9 or 9:30 before we leave. Not because service is that long, but because we love our church family and spend time socializing afterwards. When we (finally) leave the building, we usually go eat. El Sombrero is our usual choice...the staff has come to expect us! We go with friends and eat and talk some more. Usually we close out the place.

We usually make it home around 10:30 or 11:00. Chris and I get the kids to bed. Chris goes to sleep himself. I do a load of laundry or read or Facebook because I'm too wired to sleep. I finally make it to bed, but then we have to be up and back at church for Shaun's performing arts class.

So, I'm tired. And maybe I'm a slacker, but I'd much rather spend an extra 30 minutes sleeping than drying my hair. That's just me. I used to stress about this. I even went so far as to try to rush home from church without interacting with anyone in order to get home and into bed earlier. But that doesn't work for us. We love our Wednesday nights. The kids do, too. So we're keeping things the way they are. We'll keep living it up on Wednesday nights and I'll keep looking disheveled and sleepy on Thursdays.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.