Insomnia-induced Early Morning Ramblngs

I've been up since 4.  I slept all of 4 hours tonight.  Some say this is a blessing, that my body and brain will be used to running on fumes and I won't go into shock when Violet keeps me up all night.  We'll see I guess. 

Jordan and I fell asleep watching the Olympics last night.  He chanted "USA!  USA!"  the entire time.  It was kind of adorable.  :)  He wants to try to gymnastics, but after soccer is over.  I told him that USA has an Olympic soccer team, but he didn't believe me.  

While J and I were snuggled in my bed watching men's gymnastics and swimming, The Hubs and Shaun were in the next room up to their eyeballs in "The Walking Dead".  They had a Netflix marathon.  I've only seen a few episodes.  I liked it, but something happened and I never finished season 1.  Chris and Shaun both think it's the "most awesome show ever", so maybe I'll start from the beginning.  

That's what I just did with "Army Wives".  I watched seasons 1-5 in about a week.  I'm crazy like that.  

I love Jordan to pieces but I sleeping with him is not my favorite thing.  He's a "sleeping snuggler" and I am not.  I like my space after I fall asleep.  I need to sprawl out.  He always winds up right next to me.  If I move him over, which I've done several times tonight, he winds up sideways with his feet kicking me in the ribs.  Stinker.  

Shaun is asleep in the living room.  He fell asleep there during the "marathon".  Chris is kind of perched at the foot of our bed since Jordan is taking up almost the whole space.  

I'm really starting to feel tired, but C's alarm will go off in an hour and then I'll be wide awake again.  

I'm planning on going to get Violet's crib today.  Maybe my mom will drive with me.  

And vote.  I need to go vote.  And be back in Gainesville for a co-op meeting at 7.  

I can't believe it's almost August.  We've taken a few weeks off from school.  I had plans to school throughout the entire summer, but Chris lost his job and Pawpaw died and we were all out of sorts.  But we're starting back tomorrow.  We should be able to get in a full month before Violet joins us.  We'll take a few weeks to adjust and then hit the books hard and heavy.

Did I blog about how I signed Jordan up for "real school" but now I'm withdrawing him because the only reason he wanted to go to "real school" was that he wanted a new backpack?  I can't remember.  But that's what happened.  I'm relived.  I was NOT looking forward to those early mornings.  

We have a ton of fun field trips planned for this year.  The zoo, the aquarium, the planetarium.  There's more, but my mind can't think right now.  

I hate the name "Dwanye".  I just don't understand it. If your name is Dwayne, I'm sorry.  I've never met a "Dwayne" that I didn't like, but I can't get over that name.  And I have no idea why that thought crossed my mind.  

I've been eating a ton of cereal lately.  I never cared for it before, but it's become my favorite snack.  I'm not picky, any cereal with cold milk will do.  I've been chowing down on Honey Bunches of Oats here of late.  

   We spent lots of time with my sister-in-law and her girls over the weekend.  We don't get to see them as much as we'd like to. I have pictures and will do a post about our weekend, but I'm not sure where the chord for my phone is.  

Does anyone know when "Duck Dynasty" reruns air on A&E?  It's my new favorite show and I can never catch the repeats.  A new season is about to start up.  Yay!  

Our sermon at church was just for me last Sunday.  And apparently for my friend Jodi as well.  We were sitting together and talking about our husbands' (lack of) jobs and how we just needed to trust in God more.  And then the praise team began singing about just that.  And then Pastor Franklin preached about praising God no matter what.  I loved it.  I love when God gets in my face like that.  It was so refreshing.  

Okay, well, I really am getting tired.  My alarm will go off at 9 and for some reason C's alarm went off at six thirty instead of seven thirty.  He's already back asleep.  Ha!  I'm waking him up to see what's up and then hopefully I'll be able to rest until 9.  

We Were Not Impressed

I went back to the doctor today.  I was scheduled to see a different doctor than I've been seeing.  I didn't like her.  There's really no nice way to put that!  I wasn't impressed.  She knew nothing about my history, obviously hadn't even glanced at my chart, and everything she said was the exact opposite of what the other has been saying for the past two weeks.  My blood pressure was the same as it was last week.  The other doctor was concerned because it was high.  Today the new doctor said it was fine.  Last week the other doctor said, given my history, I would be able to deliver at 38 weeks.  Today's doctor said I'd be fine to wait until 39 weeks to have my c-section.  This would be wonderful news... if last week (or the week before) the doctor hadn't had concerns.  Given a choice, I would rather have a cautious doctor who knows my history and takes it seriously.  I really don't see how this new doctor could make an informed decision on how to treat my pregnancy if she's never seen my chart. 


My sister came with me and didn't like her, either.  Her exact words were, "I felt like telling her I that I have my own copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting."  


Ha ha!


I was scheduled to see the 3rd doctor in the practice next week, but I requested to see the one I'd been seeing.  They were able to squeeze me in, even though he's overbooked and I'll have to go to Brasleton.  I don't mind. I'm going to just try to see him for the rest of my pregnancy.  


Sometimes I'm a nervous wreck about this sweet baby girl.  

What We Did Today

Today was one of those days where we all kind of went our separate ways.  The Hubs went to work with his dad (thank you Lord!), I had an appointment, and the boys went to morning revival service with my mom and then to a pool party.  The pool party was last minute, they were invited by some members of my parents' church.  Since we didn't know about it beforehand, I didn't send their swimming trunks.  Jordan had a pair at my mom's house already but Shaun was out of luck.  I had locked the house when I left, so he couldn't get his own.  Mama Susie came to the rescue and bought him a new pair.  They all had a good time at the party.  Shaun was able to play with some of his old friends and of course it was nice to swim since it's been so hot lately.  

I had an ultrasound this morning.  My Granny went with me.  She was hoping to get another 3D shot of Violet's face, but it didn't work out.  It seems this baby is now breech.  I had a feeling something was up by her crazy movements last night.  All we could get a clear shot of was her back, so no cute face pictures to post.  We did find out that she has hair.  A lot of hair, apparently.  I'll believe it when I see it.  Both boys were bald babies.  :)  Everything was fine with the ultrasound today... something else to be thankful for.  

After my appointment I was able to come home and take a nap since the kids were still swimming.  I really do have the best mom ever.  They were pretty wiped out when they came home, so our afternoon was spent watching Netflix on the couch.  

Chris got home from work in time for me to make it to my friend Barbara's birthday dinner.  I almost didn't go because I was so tired, but I'm glad I did.  I love that I have church friends who always make me laugh.  Laughter is so good for my soul!  

I came back home and spent some time with my family before the boys went to bed.  Now the Hubs is playing Call of Duty and I'm about to try to go to sleep.  Lori and I are going to a homeschool expo tomorrow so I need lots of rest!

Baby Violet Update

I saw my new doctor again today.  I have to admit that I like this group even better than my other doctors.  They're being very cautious and I feel like Violet and I are in good hands.  This is such a relief!

Because my blood pressure is getting high again, I'm seeing the doctor once a week and also going to a perinatologist once a week for ultrasounds.  Last week at the doctor's office  my blood pressure was significantly high.  Enter the appointments twice a week.  The next morning Chris and I went for the ultrasound.  The baby looked great.  My blood pressure isn't effecting her growth- she weighs over 4 pounds.  One thing was abnormal.  One of her kidneys was slightly enlarged.  The doctor wasn't concerned.  He said it would most likely be normal-sized by the time she's born.  If not, she may have reflux of the kidney and be prone to kidney infections.  Nothing major.  We can live with that.  After she's here, our pediatrician will follow up.  

Today, I went back to the OBGYN.  My blood pressure was a little better, but still high. I wasn't as swollen as I was last week, which is a great sign.  The doctor is watching me for pre-eclampsia.  He doesn't think I'll make it to my due date.  Last week he said we'd shoot for delivering at 38 weeks and today he said that was the goal but most likely it would be earlier.  We will know more and make firmer plans next week when the results of my urine test comes back.  Until then, I'm on restriction again.  I'm off my feet and resting as much as possible.  This is harder than it sounds because we're not ready to have a baby yet!  I thought I had 6 more weeks and now it's looking more like 4 at the most.  We will get it done, we always do.  I don't think I've ever been fully prepared when I've given birth.  Why start now?  Ha!

One more thing.  Violet passed her non-stress test with flying colors today.  The doctor says she sounds absolutely wonderful.  Thank you, Lord!

The Bright Spot

This week has been hard.  My Pawpaw passed away.  His funeral was today and I'm exhausted.  More about that later.  

I had an ultrasound yesterday and Chris and I were blessed to get to see Violet up close and personal.  Here she is!

Chris says she looks like me.  I can see Shaun in her cheeks and nose.  Everyone says he looks just like me, so maybe Chris is right.  

I can't stop staring at her picture!  I'm so thankful that God gave us this sweet glimpse of our daughter during such a difficult time. He knows what we need and when we need it!

Those "Michael Jordan Pump" Shoes

My sister and I went to visit our grandpa last night.  She wanted some time to by herself with him, so I went back to the waiting room.

Really, one of the reason's I didn't want to stay in the room was because I didn't want to cry in front of my Pawpaw.  I don't know if he can hear what's going on around him or not, but just in case, I didn't want him to hear me crying.  If you've ever seen or heard me cry before, it's not pretty for the eyes or the ears.  :)

My daddy was in the waiting room, along with one of my aunts.  As she hugged me, I burst into tears.  Loud, gut-wrenching sobs.  Thankfully I was able to get it under control pretty quickly.  As I was wiping my tears and sniffling my dad grinned at me and said, "You know what I've been thinking about all day?  Michael Jordan and those Pump-Up shoes that Pawpaw paid $126 for just because you thought you needed them for basketball.  He never spent that much money on my shoes for a whole year, and he shelled it out for you for one basketball season.  Didn't you start slam-dunking pretty soon after you got them?"

I had to laugh.  I'd forgotten all about those shoes.  I was the envy of my third grade basketball team.  Looking back, the idea of those shoes was so ridiculous:  athletic shoes with a little basketball on the tongue that pumped air into the sole of the shoe when you pushed it.  A total gimmick, a complete waste of money.  I think I asked my parents for a pair and they said absolutely not.  I guess they had more important things to spend their money on.  But, my Pawpaw felt differently and I showed up at our first practice with a pair of white and purple Reebok Pumps.  

I thought I was hot stuff sporting those babies, let me tell you.  

There's not much to report today.  The doctor ordered a CT scan and I guess plans will be made depending on the results.  In the meantime, I'm thankful memories like Michael Jordan's Pumps. 

God is Still Good

I won't lie.  The past week has been one from hell.  My husband lost his job.  Our insurance went with it.  We've had to deal with the unemployment office, the Health Department, and the DFACS office this week.  Oh, and I'm also having to change OBGYNs at 31 weeks pregnant.  Very stressful indeed.  

I was just recovering from it all and then yesterday my grandfather had a bleed on his brain.  This is similar to a stroke.  I don't really know what the difference is... Shaun had a bleed on his brain when he was born and they called it a stroke...  anyway, not important now.  Pawpaw's been in ICU on life-support.  This morning his doctor told my dad and grandma that they needed to make a decision about whether or not to continue life-support.  He is only breathing 2 times a minute without it.  

This sucks.  

I told the boys this morning.  They're upset. So am I.  We love our Pawpaw.  I can't imagine life without him.  Then again, I can't imagine him spending the rest of his life in a bed on life-support, either.  I know God can still heal him and turn this whole situation around.  But just in case He doesn't, I'm preparing myself and the kids.  

Either way this goes, it will be hard.  

Lots of prayers are appreciated.  

I just realized what I titled this post.  Yes, God is still good.  As far as Chris' job goes, God has already opened doors to bring in money to provide for our family.  It was crazy how it turned out.  He was without a job last Friday and by the next Thursday God blessed us with another part-time job for him.  Between that and his job at church, we will be almost breaking even with what he made before.  We will still be without insurance, but the kids can get on Peachcare until we figure something else out.  I was able to get Medicaid for the rest of my pregnancy.  I'm so thankful.  I have to see a new doctor next week, but now at least I won't have to pay a zillion dollars for a c-section.  And as far as my Pawpaw goes, as I told my boys this morning-  he's had a good life.  Of course my heart is breaking and it will be even more broken if he passes away, but he really has had a good life.  He laughed a lot, loved many, and was loved by even more.  I'm so thankful that I've had the honor of being his granddaughter.  Whatever happens, leaving this earth is not "good-bye".  It's simply "see you later!".  Someone told me that 4  years ago when my grandmother passed away and it was such a comfort to me.  

At the end of the day, that's why I can still say that God is good, even as I'm crying all over my laptop. 

Thank you for praying for us. 

7 Sweet Hours

I haven't been sleeping all that well for a while now.  Third trimester insomnia has kicked in, apparently.  I'm tired all day and then when it's bedtime I'm wide awake.  Maybe the fact that little Violet is a night owl has something to do with it.  She really "comes to life" after midnight.  I love feeling her move!  Then, when I finally do go to sleep, I'm just too uncomfortable to sleep for long.  My back hurts when I stay in the same position for too long, and my stomach's getting so big that it's hard to find a comfortable way to lay down, period.  Not too mention all of the nighttime bathroom breaks.  

Last night, however, I had a pleasant surprise.  It was around 2 a.m. when I fell asleep, but I slept through the night until 9 o'clock this morning!  I'm telling you, I felt like a new woman when I woke up!  

I thought all that sleep would refresh me so much that I wouldn't be tired any more until it was time to turn in for the night, but I was wrong.  I sat down to read a little bit while rest of the family played X Box, and I fell asleep reading.  I woke up an hour later and it was time for lunch.  

So weird, and so frustrating.  It's not that I just feel sleepy.  My whole body feels tired. I know.  It's normal and I'll just have to deal with it until September.  At least the Hubs is being nice about letting me rest.  He hasn't even told me not to get used to it. Ha!