On peeing on the floor.

Jordan just peed on the floor AGAIN. While I was cooking lunch. I caught him midstream and asked him what he was doing. His response? "No, no, I don't need a spanking". He got one anyway. And now he's taking a long time out. I need to shampoo the rug in our living room. Its starting to smell like we have a puppy in the house. Will this season EVER pass?

The Strong-willed Child

This is my Jordan. Age 3.5 years. Otherwise known as The Strong-willed Child. He is younger brother to Shaun, who, until recently, held the title of Most Strong-willed Child in North Georgia. I have now passed this title on to Jordan. Don't let the meek, innocent look fool you. Although the J-Man is sweet, loving, and precious, he is also the PICTURE of a Strong-willed Child.

This hasn't all come about overnight. No, we've always known Jordan has a strong will. It just seems that the older he gets, the stronger his will becomes. I know a lot of this is related to the fact that he's a boy. And, in a way, I'm GLAD he's hyper-active and action packed. What mom wants a sissy-fied boy? Not me. But I also know that Jordan needs boundaries. Discipline. Extra attention. He needs to know who's boss and he needs to follow the rules. This is where we're having problems. Not the rules part- he knows the rules. He knows right from wrong. He just doesn't seem to care if he follows the rules or not- even though he gets punished for breaking them.

For example:

Wearing clothes. Jordan hates to wear clothes. Because he's a boy, and because he doesn't sweat, I do not insist that he wear a shirt when we're around the house. Underwear and shorts is fine with me. I lost count of the times today that I made him put his shorts and undies back on. I also lost count of the number of times I saw his naked bottom streaking though our house. We've spanked (using hands, belts, and hickories). We've used time-outs. We've taken toys away. And he STILL tries to get away with not wearing clothes.

Urinating in the floor. Yes, I actually said that. My potty-trained 3 year old pees in the floor. He's done it twice today. He knows that pee and poo go in the potty. He knows not to pee in the floor. After he did this today, I took him to his room, spanked him, and gave him a time-out. Then I asked him if he knew why he was being punished. He looked at me and said "Because I pee pee'd on the floor". I asked him if he knew where pee was supossed to go. His reply was "In the potty". What do I do? As I said before, he DOES get punished for doing this. He has received 2 HARD spankings today for this. He understands that its wrong, and if he does it he'll get punished. And he chooses to do it anyway.

These are just a few of the struggles we're dealing with. Now, what do I do about it? For sure, I'm praying. For Jordan and for myself. As I said earlier, a part of me is glad Jordan has a strong will. He'll need it as he grows older, to survive. Especially once he becomes a Christian. But he also must learn to respect authority and to follow rules. I know God has given me strong-willed children for a reason. Its my job to train them up. Its so scary to think about how the parenting choices I make will effect what kinds people my boys grow up to be.

I need to find the balance between breaking Jordan's will and disciplining him. I'm praying for answers that I know will come. In the meantime, I'm keeping on keeping on. And thanking God for blessing me with a wonderful, loving, hyper, mischievious, action-filled little boy. Times two!

Our Weekend

This weekend was fabulous. Oh, how I wish I could find the cable thingy for my camera. I'd love to post some pictures. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to break down and buy one.

Saturday: Went to visit my sister and her family at their campsite. On the way there, we stopped for ice at this store that is "The Home of the White Bat". Now, I have driven by this store so many times on the way to the mountains and I've always wanted to stop in and see the famous White Bat. I got my wish. I walked into the store and found a little black box with an eye hole thing under a sign that read something like "Look here to see the white bat. Shhh...the white bat and her babies are sleeping!" Barely able to contain my excitement, I skipped over and had a look-see into that black box and saw....are you ready for this? A large white BASEBALL bat surrounded by five or six smaller (baby) white BASEBALL bats. Wow. Even though my sister had already warned me about this, I was beyond disappointed. And then I had a good laugh. We went on to the campsite and had a wonderful time.

Sunday: We had a relatively calm Sunday morning, which doesn't often happen for us. We have to be at church at 7:30 am. We're not morning people. The devil really loves to use these things against us on Sunday mornings. Shaun and Chris were out until 2 am the night before. Jordan played his "sleep-fighting" game until 1 am. We all still had to be up by 6, and we made it out the door by 7 without any bloodshed or tears. Amazing! I was able to rearrange my schedule to be able to hear Chris lead worship and speak at Kidpak. He did a great job, as usual. Afterwards, we went out to lunch with some friends. We had a great time of fellowship with some old friends and we got to know some newer friends better. Nothing better than that. All of the children sat at one end of the table and behaved themselves- for the most part.

After lunch we went home and assembled Jordan's new bike. We watched him fly around on it for a while before we had to go back to church to pick up some things. After THAT, the boys were starving again and since we had practically no groceries in the house, we went out to dinner together. On the way home, I stopped at Kroger and picked up some groceries while everyone else waited in the truck.

Came home, and Chris and I put the kids in the bed and attempted to watch "Roxanne". This is an old 80's movie starrring Steve Martin. It was recommended to us and was supossed to be super funny, but I was super disappointed in it. So was Chris. About half-way through, we went to bed ourselves.

So there you have it. Our weekend. Nothing special. Just normal. The way I like it.

How much He loves me.

Last week in California, I dipped my toes into the Pacific Ocean. It was surreal for me. I honestly thought I'd never get to see ocean on the West Coast. Why would I? Its across the country from me and my family and I have never been big travelers. I think until last week, the farthest I'd ever been away from Georgia is North Carolina. Its not that I don't think I'd like to travel. We simply don't have the finances for that kind of thing.

Anyway, while walking down Laguna Beach, I was marveling to Chris about seeing the Pacific Ocean. It is truly beautiful. Very different from any beach I've seen before. Later on, on the ride to the airport to go home, Chris commented to Dr Rich, who was driving us, that I thought I'd never see the Pacific Ocean. Dr Rich just laughed his infectious laugh, looked back at me (while hurtling the van through crazy Los Angeles traffic) and said, "See how much God loves you, Erin?".

Indeed. The whole trip was a total God thing. He knew how much I needed a break. He knew how much our marriage needed a renewal. He knew that we couldn't afford a trip like that and gave us a FREE vacation to California. Just in time to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. Well, it was a little early for that, but that's okay! He loves me that much! I never dreamed that God had this much in store for us when He moved us to our current church.

I will never forget this trip. I'm so thankful to God for giving it to us, and to our church for allowing me to go. I'm grateful for the new friends in Christ I made. They showed us amazing hospitality...I felt right at home, which is odd for me. It usually takes me awhile to warm up to new people.

It was a great trip. I learned so many things. But the most important thing I learned, I already knew. God loves me. Really. Sometimes, during the hectic and not-so-fun moments in my life, I forget. But He still loves me. And He always will. Thank you, Dr Rich, for giving me that reminder.

Dancing in the Rain

Today, we danced in the rain. Or at least the kids did. They also played on the swings, slid down slides, rolled down hills and slung mud around. It was great! I was jealous that I couldn't do it, too. I really wanted to, but I had to go into the grocery store afterwards.

My sister and I decided to take the kids to the park today. Wouldn't you know it started raining RIGHT when we got there. So we let them play in the rain. I've never been so sorry to not have my camera. Watching our kids in that rain was priceless. I'm so glad we chose today to go to the park.

The rain was not all good, though. When walking into the grocery store after we left the park, I slipped in a puddle of rain in the parking lot and fell. Mortified, I skulked back to Lori's van to...I'm not sure why I went back there. For some sympathy, I guess. I managed to make it back into the store, but on the way back out...yep. Fell again. In the same spot. And I actually thought my clumsiness was getting better.

Bad dream

Terrifying is more like it. Here it is:

I'm at a busy gas station in a bad part of town with Shaun and Jordan. I had to part at the end of the parking lot, far away from the entrance to the store. Jordan was sleeping, so I decided to just leave him in the car while Shaun and I went inside to pay. I also left my keys in the floor board. After paying, I came outside to find that my car was gone. Someone had stolen it, with Jordan inside. Police were called, but no one could find him.

It finally came to the point where we needed to plan a memorial service. Chris was not in this dream, but my parents were. We were all leaving the police station and my dad said we needed to stop by the funeral home to plan a service, since it had been so long and Jordan was still missing. I clung to my mom, begging her to please not make me go to the funeral home to plan my baby's memorial service.

I don't remember exactly how this dream ended, but it wasn't good. I felt raw terror to my core. And despair. I've never really understood what it meant to feel despair, but I felt it during this dream. Hopeless. Out of control. I'm not sure why God allowed me to have this dream. Maybe to give me compassion. I know this was only a dream, but I feel like I now understand what it feels like to lose a child, or to have my child abducted.

I woke up and prayed over my children like I've never prayed before. Please God- protect them. Protect all children, and all parents. I pray your hand of protection to cover us.

I'm leaving!

But only for the weekend. With my husband. And without my children.

God worked it out so that Chris and I get a weekend away together. We haven't had that since our honeymoon, and we need some alone time desperately, to see if we still like each other! Kidding. Seriously though, we lead such busy lives that its hard for us to stay connected the way we need to. I'm so thankful for this trip. And thankful that I have parents who are willing to rearrange their lives for 4 days just to watch my children.

At twenty-eight years old, I'll board my first airplane tomorrow. Hard to believe, I know. This week has been so stressful and I've been so grouchy, but I'm really starting to get excited now. Never mind the fact that I haven't packed a thing and that I'll probably be up all night getting ready. Its gonna be great!

Changing subjects now. I had a great meeting with Shaun's "team" from public school. They were so wonderful to do his testing, etc over the summer for us. Shaun will still be eligible for services when we begin home schooling in August. I expected some resistance from the school system, but they were so supportive and seem so willing to work with me to help Shaun succeed. Thank you, God. Another answered prayer.

Gotta go get to packing now!