Bring on 2009

So, 2008 is winding down.  Only a few more weeks.  Thank God. I 've been doing some thinking over the past few days.  I thought last year was  bad, but I can honestly say that 2008 has been worse.  It has sucked, and frankly, I'm glad to see it go.  

I remember this time last year.  I was pumped and excited, ready to take on the 30 Day Fast in January.  I was so certain that taking the time to fast and pray would turn things around and that I would indeed "Have a Great 2008".  Not so much.  Instead, this year has been the worst year of my life, so far.  I have lost relatives, lost friendships, seen my children suffer, and have cried myself to sleep to many times to count.  I have been disappointed in my marriage and have watched my finances suffer.  

Last week I had this thought "If this is what fasting gets me, I'm better off without it".  Really.  I prayed and fasted for my grandmother's healing.  She passed away anyway. I prayed for my Uncle Jeff's physical healing.  He passed away, too.  I prayed for physical and emotional healing for Shaun.  He's no better.  I fasted for my family's finances.  Don't get me started on this issue!  The list of disappointments list on and on.  

We're talking about the upcoming Fast at church already, and my initial decision was to just blow it off this year.  Then, I had a revelation.  First of all, God commands us to fast.  So Christians should fast, regardless of whether or not we reap any "benefits" from it or not. Secondly, I had the wrong idea about the fast in the first place.  Fasting is new to me.  I incorrectly assumed that if I fasted and prayed, nothing bad would happen and all the wrongs in my life would be corrected.  WRONG!  Bad things are going to happen.   That's life.  Once I realized this, I had a whole new perspective.  I started thinking about the GOOD things that happened this year.  The less obvious stuff.  This is what I found:

 1.  I lived through this year!  That is huge, considering all that has happened.  I lived through it and I'm still in one piece!  And I did it even after weaning myself from my Zoloft!

 2.  My marriage is stronger than it has ever been.  

 3.  I am closer to my family.

 4.  I have a better appreciation for life- I do not take it for granted anymore.

 5.  My faith has increased greatly.

 6.  I am closer to God than I have ever been before.  

 7.  My oldest son was Saved this year. 

 8.  His grades have improved.

 9.  I have become more content with what I have (and what I don't have).

10.  I have seen God use a tragedy to pull my family together.

11.  I have learned to comfort.

12.  God has given me the grace to forgive those who I once considered unforgivable.  

These are just a few.  I am really blessed, and I thank God for opening up my eyes.  I am still ready for 2009, though.  I can't wait to see what He's gonna do!