He's still here

The Hubs and I (and our entire church) are fasting again. We do this every January. For 21 days, we "Daniel Fast": only eat fruits, veggies, nuts/seeds, and water. I've been doing pretty well with the food part this year. I feel great. I haven't cheated. I'm having problems with the other part of fasting. The praying and Bible study part. Not that I haven't been praying. Or reading my Bible. Its just that I haven't found extra time to carve out for this. I was feeling like I was missing out. I needed to hear a Word! I really wanted to have an hour to sit down and really "get with God" so that I could in return receive a deep, prophetic word. Get some encouragement! Or at least hit God up with my extensive prayer request list.

But...that did NOT happen this week. Between homeschooling, attempting to clean, dealing with Chris' absence (he's been recording the band's new cd every night), breaking up fights between the children, and sitting up half the night with Jordan (who suddenly decided that sleeping is optional), I just haven't been able to put what I wanted into it. I did good to read a few minutes first thing in the morning, mutter a few prayer requests when I remembered to throughout the day, and read a few more minutes at night. I was discouraged. Disappointed- I really had been intent on going after God with all I had during this fast.

And then today, I DID get my Word. Shaun and Chris weren't home. Jordan was in the bathtub splashing his little heart out. I was in the living room folding laundry and listening to my iPod.

Delulge was playing: "Whisper His name and He will come to you....Call out His name and He will answer you...Shout out His name and He will run to you...

And it occured to me that my fasting habits haven't gone unnoticed by God. Even if I haven't been able to spend tons and tons of "alone" time with my Father, He still knows the desires of my heart. And He's been with me the whole time. When I'm reading my Bible in bed. When I'm whispering prayers of protection over my children while doing the dishes. When I'm thanking Him for meeting an unexpected need while riding in the car. And when I get a minute to myself to sing to Him, even if I'm folding clothes at the same time. He's here.

I'm still going to strive to find more alone time to study and pray. But...if it doens't happen, that's fine, too. Because He's still here.

I think I'm on to something.

I decided to buckle down today and really get serious about teaching Jordan his letters. I've been putting this off for several reasons. First of all, my hands are full with teaching Shaun. I know. I feel guilty just thinking it, let alone posting it here for all to see. Secondly, Jordan is just so active. Its really hard to get him to sit down and do anything for more than a few minutes. Thirdly, my sweet little Jordan is just not into anything academic. Seriously. He's not interested at all. He has retained everything he learned from preschool last year, which is a huge relief. He knows all his colors and he can count. At least I don't have to start over from scratch. I haven't been really worried about teaching him until now. He'll be four at the end of the month. We're looking into what to do with him next year, school-wise. I was leaning toward enrolling him in the GA Pre K program, but I just don't feel comfortable with that for several reasons that I'm not going to go into. Perhaps a private pre k class at his school from last year. Or maybe I'll just teach him from home. Its up in the air. We're praying about it. Hard.

But, regardless of what we decide, he needs to learn these flippin' letters! So today, I pulled him away from the Wii and we sat down at the dining room table. I had my flash cards ready. We were going to learn A E I and O today. I was determined. Okay, so he already knows A and O. So just E and I. He actually did okay. He was working hard. And then something completely unexpected happened. Shaun wandered into the room. (He had been taking a break from his math!) "Can I help teach him?", he asked. Warily, I agreed, thinking that this was NOT going to work out. But...it did! Shaun was so patient with his brother. And Jordan was so much more eager to work for Shaun. First they worked on their flash cards and then Shaun came up with the idea of writing the letters on his small dry-erase board and letting Jordan call them out. They did this for about 20 minutes, which is a HUGE amount of time for a three year old to work. They had such a good time. It was so good for both of them. And me, too! I was able to have a phone conversation with my sister while all this was going on :)

So...I think I'm on to something. I'm going to make this a daily activity. I just hope it lasts!

I told you so...

It snowed last night in Georgia. As always, this stirred up panic in the hearts of all the southerners. I seriously love how everyone goes nuts when there's even just a little bit of talk about snow. I had to stop at the grocery store yesterday afternoon. Thank goodness we aren't bread eaters and milk drinkers in our house. Because there wasn't any milk or bread in the entire store. But of course there was plenty of almond milk, rice bread, and cheese. Perfect for snacks in case our power happened to go out. Which it didn't, but still. I had to stock up. You know...just in case! I don't think I've ever really been glad about Shaun's food sensitivities until last night. That may sound crazy, but it was nice to calmly walk to the "natural foods" section and get my groceries without any problems while everyone else fought it out over the last loaf of "real" bread.

We finally made it home and of course, the kids wanted to play in the snow. They only lasted a few minutes. It was just too cold. Shaun woke up bright and early this morning and wanted to go out again. Of course he didn't listen to me when I told him that 17 degree weather is just TOO COLD to be playing in. The whining persisted, and I gave in. I let him outside. In about three minutes I hear this from outside:

"Mom. MOM! MOMMY! MOMMEEEEEEEEE! My hands. They're cold! PLEEEEASE let me in, MOMMMMEEEEE!"

I opened the door and there he stood. Frozen to the core. Hands too numb to even open the door since his gloves were wet. Poor thing. And what do you think I said? That's right.

"I TOLD you so!"

Not very mature, I know. But my sweet Shaun had to agree that, just this once, his mom was actually right!

Its about 4:30 pm now. The rest of the day was spent somewhat uneventfully in front of the television. The kids played Wii and watched movies, since The Smith Academy decided to follow the trend of area school closings. Its still only 23 degrees outside. I'm ready for spring and its only January!

Speed-reading

I listened to my daddy "speed-read" to Jordan tonight. You know...Jordan asked Papa to read "Berenstein Bears" right before kick-off time. And of course, Papa couldn't tell him no. So what to do? "Speed-read", of course! Hilarious! He read that book in about 2 minutes. And Jordan sat captivated, listening intently. Just the way I did at his age, when Daddy "speed-read" to me. Memories!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Last week, I did NOT ignore strict instructions to remain "on campus" for the entire 3 hours of Shaun's Christmas play rehearsal, opting to finish up my Christmas shopping instead. I did NOT receive a cell phone call letting me know that said rehearsal was being dismissed...a full hour early! When I made it back to church, my child was NOT waiting on me at the front door of a nearly-empty church like some rejected orphan. I would never let that happen. NOT ME!

I did NOT have any reason to say this to my husband, as he was getting ready to take Shaun on an outing: "Don't you think he needs to change his clothes? He's been wearing that outfit since Thursday and its filthy!" I would never, never, ever let my children wear (and sleep) in the same clothes from Christmas Eve until the day after Christmas...no matter how hectic the season is. NOT ME!

I did NOT attempt to download an audio book onto my cell phone, only to realize too late that I really didn't know what I was doing. So, now I am NOT stuck with a book that I am having to read instead of listen to...on my cell phone. And I do NOT feel like a big dork about it. NOT ME!

Christmas was last Friday. So there's no reason whatsoever for my house to still be a disaster. I would never allow this mess to carry on for so long. And I would certainly never blog while I should be cleaning it up. NOT ME!

Memorable Moments...

...from our Christmas Candlelight Service last night:

* Shaun being sent to "makeup". This was quite funny. All the makeup he needed, as a shepherd, was some powder, lip balm, and a little bronzer. Apparently that was too much for his comfort zone. He looked up at the makeup artist through squinted eyes and, while she was applying his powder, whispered fiercely "You'd better not make me look like a girl".

* Chris' parents joined us for the service. Enough said. Huge answered prayer.

* My parents also joined us for the service. I hardly ever get to be in church with them, so I treasure every time.

* Jordan was in service with us, too, since there was no child care offered. I was a little nervous about this, but he was fine. A little wiggly, but that's it.

* Seeing Shaun up on the "big stage" looking calm and collected, doing what he was supposed to do, not nervous at all. Never mind that five thousand people were watching him. I'm so proud of him!

* Holding Jordan during the lighting ceremony and watching him hold his candle perfectly still with one hand and raise his other hand in praise, without being prompted.

* Almost having my hair burned when Jordan decided he'd been still long enough.

* Almost burning a hole in Jordan's sweater when he decided he wanted to "switch hips". This is harder than it sounds for one to accomplish when holding a burning candle.

* Listening to Shaun give his grandpa a little grief for drinking a beer when we went out to dinner afterwards. Not only the fact that he did this, but the WAY in which he did it...very loving, but matter of fact. I should take some lessons!

It was a great night. A wonderful way to celebrate our Savior's birth. Merry Christmas!

Love Them Like Jesus

"The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home
A child's broken heart
You're holding her hand
You're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
She's desperate for hope
Darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus
Carry her to him
His yoke is easy
His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her
And stay by her side

Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus"


I have a friend. She's lost the love of her life. Although her circumstances are a bit different than the one portrayed in this verse, they're similar, too. Her unborn child will be born in a few months without an earthly father. She's told me several times "My life is ruined. It will never be the same".

She's hurting. Grieving. Doesn't really like to be around people, so I haven't seen her since September. But my heart has been heavy with grief for her. When all this happened, I would dread calling her. Not because I didn't WANT to talk to her. But because I didn't know what to say. The first time we spoke, the night her husband was taken from her, she asked me "Why? Why would God do this to me? We were being faithful to Him. Why?". And of course, I muttered a soft, "I don't know".

I felt inadequate to even talk to her. And baffled. Because I REALLY DON'T KNOW why God would do this to her. Because she was right. They were doing everything right. They were humble. They were obedient. They were faithful. It doesn't make sense to me at all.

But...it doesn't have to. Make sense to ME, that is. Or even her, for that matter. No one will ever know the answer to that question, at least not on this side of Heaven.

So, I'm loving her like Jesus. I still strain for the "right" words to say when I talk with her. But there are no "right" words for this situation. I would love to be able to spout out some deep, knowledgeable insights that would wipe her pain away, but that's just not going to happen. So I check on her. Call her and send texts. Let her know that I love her, and that I'm praying for her. Even if she doesn't answer sometimes. She doesn't have to. Because there are no "right" ways to behave in situations like this.

I have always loved her. Now I'm just trying to love her like Jesus.