Kiosks

I spent some time at The Mall of Georgia yesterday.  I hardly ever get to venture out to the "big mall", as my son calls it.  It's just too much of a hassle to go with all three kids.  Plus I don't have time.  We usually make do with the mediocre stores here in  Gainesville.

Yesterday, though, Jordan was invited to a movie birthday party at the MOG.  This party lasted 4 hours, so I was excited about having 4 hours to myself... Chris and Shaun were still at church and my parents took Violet home with them to spend the day.  I dropped Jordan off with his friends and the theater, and then I didn't know what to do with myself.  Ha!  I mean, I couldn't remember the last time I was out by myself.  

All.  By.  Myself.

I got lunch in the food court.  By myself.  I used to be so self-conscious about eating alone in public places, but now I relish it. I ate slowly.  People watched.  Read.  Talked on the phone.  Sent texts.  Watched many Bruno Mars videos on the mall's televisions. I sat there for an hour.  Just sitting.  It was wonderful!

Then, I window shopped.  No real money to spend, but at least now I know what I want to buy when I do have money.

One thing I don't really like about MOG is all of the kiosks.  They've gotten worse and worse over the years.  I first noticed them getting out of hand a few weeks after Violet was born.  The family and I were at the mall.  Chris and the boys went off alone and I had the baby in her stroller.  Seriously, probably two weeks after my c-section.  I know I had no business doing so much so soon, but I did anyway.  I was tired, it was hot, and I was sore and winded from all the walking around.  I was walking back to the food court to meet the others when the "Sutra" man snagged me.  I am convinced that these people look for ladies who feel the most haggard, tired, and unattractive.  

I happened to be wearing my hair curly that day because I had a non-sleeping newborn in the house and getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep was much, much more important to me than straightening my hair that morning.  

The "Sutra Guy" started out by telling me that my hair is beautiful and asking me if I ever straighten it.  I was really not in the mood.  I was sweaty and I was wearing a maternity outfit when I wasn't pregnant anymore because I couldn't fit into my regular clothes yet.  I told him no thanks and kept walking.  And he followed me!  The next thing I knew, he was straightening a strand of my hair.  And yes, it was really straight and beautiful.  But I stated that I just didn't have time for things such as hair straightening at the moment.  And then that fool had the nerve to ask why.  

Seriously?

I gave him a "are you kidding me?" look and then turned my gaze to my beautiful baby girl sleeping away in her stroller.  He got the point.  

The same thing happened the next time we visited MOG a few months later.  Same  place.  Same guy.  This time my hair was straight and again, he went on and on about how beautiful it was.  Only this time he asked if I ever curled it.  

Really?

That time I escaped, but this whole scenario repeats every time I'm at the mall.  

Yesterday, while I was walking around the mall, I thought to myself that I was amazed that the Sutra guy hadn't accosted me.  And, I swear to you, at that moment I heard a familiar voice say, "Wow, your hair is so gorgeous.  What kind of straightener do you use?" 

Bwahahahaha.  They tricked me.  They switched places!  I was all the way down at Baby Gap and they found me!  I told the guy all of this.  And the next thing I knew I was in his chair and he was straightening my hair.  I told him he'd already proven to me how wonderful the Sutra is, but he insisted.  I also told him that he had to straighten the whole thing and not just one strand.  He obliged.  

For the next few hours, I was constantly barraged by salesmen peddling their ware.  It was annoying.  They just don't take no for an answer. And oh, my gosh...all of the cliches they used.  My favorite line came from a woman who was selling exfoliators.  She asked me how in the world I had 3 kids because I look soooo much younger than 33.  Ha ha! I    almost said, "Yeah right, lady.  I know EXACTLY how I look today.  I've been up since 5:30 am and I haven't stopped going since.  I'm tired.  That's how I look.  Tired!"  But I didn't.  And then she dropped the F-Bomb while describing the Dead Sea.  Because, of course, what other words would you use to describe the body of water that produced the product you're trying to sell?  I'm still shaking my head at that one.  Next time, I'm definitely taking my kids.  It's funny how kids can deter the kiosk workers.  Ha!

I picked Jordan up and we began to walk outside.  As we left the food court area, I heard another voice.  "Your  hair is gorgeous...what kind of straighter do you use?"  Same old kiosk that's been pursuing me for over a year, but different guy.  Somehow he missed me on the way in.  I told him that I used a Sutra, just so we could get out of there.  I was technically telling the truth since my hair was in fact straightened with a Sutra just a few hours ago.  And, for the record, I think my Chi does just as good of a job.