Random Ramblings and some Musings, Too

I should be asleep by now, but instead I'm waiting up to see what's going to happen with our government.  Will there be a shutdown?  Will an agreement be reached?  I'm tired of hearing about it, but I'm too high strung to sleep tonight until I know.  I'm disappointed in our government.  That's all I'm going to say.  Except maybe we just need a king and a queen instead of a House of Reps and a Senate.  Just kidding.  Kind of.  

Violet's been sick again.  She's ran a high fever for a few days and feels miserable.  We haven't gotten much sleep and it definitely showed today.  Shaun had piano this afternoon and I wanted to take Vi on a walk afterward.  I thought fresh air would be good for her.  So on the way to piano I called the doctor to make an appointment for tomorrow.  Only the nurse told me I needed to bring her in today. My first thought:  I can't go to the doctor looking like this!  "This" meaning a semi dirty shirt, yoga pants, and my unwashed hair stuffed into my hat.  Don't judge.  Please.  It was a bad day and I had no plans to get out of the car except at Wilshire Trails where no one would notice how I looked.  But we wound up at the doctor's instead.  I swear, everyone who came into that exam room did a double take and asked if I was alright... then they asked about Violet.  I guess I looked that bad.  Sigh.  I was so tired that I didn't even care.  And Violet just has a virus that has to run it's course.  

I finally spent some time with my sister today.  We exercised and went to Wal-Mart.  I still hate running.  I reached a new low.  Instead of just wanting to cry, I actually did cry some tears.  Ugh.  

Eleven more minutes until the government shuts down.  Oh, the tension.  

Castoff. Finally!

So Shaun's cast(s) is finally out of our lives forever.  It only took 3 visits to accomplish this.  Ugh.  Three days.  Three 45 minute, one way drives.  Three antsy kids tagging along.  I'm so glad that last week is over!  

When we went C.H. Martin's, the company who made Shaun's brace last Thursday, they didn't have any boots in his size.  So... the cast had to stay on one more day.  Jeff, who has been making AFO braces for Shaun since he was not even a year old, had to make a different plan.  He took the cast off.  Measured for an AFO.  Then duct taped the cast back on in hopes that it would last just one more day.

Seriously, he used duct tape.  It really can be used for everything.  He asked his assistant to bring him some and she laughed.  He had to tell her he was serious.  Ha!

After this creation, he put a rush on Shaun's AFO and made it overnight.  There's always a waiting list at C.H. Martin.  We've never gotten a brace in less than two weeks.  So Jeff really bent over backwards to take care of Shaun.  Like I said, he's been taking care of him since he was a baby and he goes to church with us too.  It's nice to have that relationship with the professionals who take care of your kids.  

The next day, on Friday, the kids and I went BACK to Suwanee.  We were worked in for our appointment, so someone new helped us.  Jordan kept eyeing a set of parallel bars and asked what they were for.  The guy helping us explained that in addition to making braces, he also makes prosthetic legs and those bars are used to help people learn to walk on their new legs.  Of course, Jordan asked what a prosthetic leg was and the guy replied, "You know.  A fake leg.  Kinda like mine!". And he pulled up his pant leg to show off his prosthetic leg.  Jordan was mesmerized!  So mesmerized that he sat still for the whole appointment.  And we were finally able to throw that cast into the trash!

That skeletal foot in the background is what was left of Jordan when he wouldn't sit still.  Ha ha!  These appointments are always long.  Thankfully we had a big room so Violet could walk around.  And Jordan was so, SO good after that leg incident!

Shaun's had a little trouble with his brace.  It's always hard when he gets a new one, and it doesn't offer as much support as the cast. It's slowed him down a little, but we were expecting this.  He wants to wear it because he doesn't want to have surgery again.  And it has a Bulldog on it, so it's a good conversation piece.  :)

Drastic Measures

So, I'm once again determined to beat this weight thing.  So much so that I've done something drastic.  Even more drastic than joining Weight Watchers last year.  

I have...

Drumroll, please....

Started exercising.  

My Fitness Pal calls it "walking at a brisk pace".

The first thing I noticed when I began doing this is that I'm so terribly, horribly out of shape.  The second thing I noticed is that I absolutely LOATH it. When I get started I have a panic attack because I hate it so much and I'm so out of shape and it hurts so bad.  But I haven't stopped.  I've even been going to walk early in the mornings before Chris goes to work.  I'm not a morning person, so this is a big deal.  And I've added jogging into the mix.  I downloaded a Couch to 5K app on my phone.  Not because I actually want to run a 5K. I just want to be able to do it.  

So the workout for the first day calls for walking briskly for five minutes as a warmup, then alternating jogging for 60 seconds and walking for 90 seconds.  At a brisk pace, of course!  The workout lasts for 30 minutes.

This is so embarrassing to admit, but I can't even make it the whole 30 minutes.  I shortened it to 20 minutes, and even then I can't do all of the jogging.  So I personalized my goals a little.  My first fitness goal is to be able to do 20 minutes of the walking/jogging alternates.  I hope to meet this goal by next week.

Actually, I've already met a goal.  When I first started moving, I couldn't walk "briskly" for 20 minutes without stopping.  So I guess this will be Fitness Goal Number Two. 

I really, really hate that this is so hard for me.  Seriously.  I hate it.  

I'm publishing this post to hold myself accountable.  The more people who know what I'm doing, the more embarrassing it will be for me if I quit. 

Total Castoff...Not!

Today was supposed to be a big day...Shaun's cast was coming off!  The five of us were SO excited.  Wearing a cast is the pits.  When the person who's wearing the cast is an active teenage boy, it's REALLY the pits.  I've never worn one myself, but this is Shaun's 3rd or 4th cast (is it terrible that I can't remember?) so I kind of know what I'm talking about. 

Being the mother of a teenage boy who needs help bathing due to wearing a cast is the pits and also downright awkward for everyone involved.  I was really relieved when Shaun opted to sponge bathe instead. 

But today, it was coming off!  Yay for regular showers, wearing two shoes, and a whole host of other things getting back to normal.  Here is my excited  boy on the way to the doctor's office.

  Once we were at the appointment, my first clue that things might not be going as we had anticipated was that the nurse said she needed to look at her notes to see if the cast was ready to come off.  She left and stayed gone a pretty good while.  Another lady came in next, the nurse practitioner, who we'd never seen before.  For the record, she was very nice and knowledgeable.  I really liked her until she presented us with our dilemma:  Shaun's foot wouldn't be ready to go without support for 2 more weeks.  She really wanted to leave the cast in place until then, but she needed to check the incision and he has an appointment tomorrow to be fitted for a brace that he'll wear until December.  So our options were to leave the cast on and reschedule the brace appointment, or remove the cast and put another one on that the brace people remove tomorrow so that they can measure his foot.  We opted for the latter.  

Another lady came in with the cast saw.  This was what Jordan had been waiting for.  Ha ha! She began sawing away.  And sawing some more. And grunting in frustration.  Finally, I asked if something was wrong.  And she told me that the saw wouldn't saw through the cotton that was between the "mended" cast and the original cast.  Remember when we had to have the cast repaired because the heel had a hole?  I was so confused at first and then she explained that a cast saw will only saw through hard surfaces... not cotton or fabric or even skin.  Very good to know, I suppose.  The boys and I learned something new.  She called in for help and changed the blade on the saw and between the two of them, the "mended cast" finally came off.  

The saw lady left the room again to put the original blade back on the saw.  And when she plugged the saw in again, nothing happened.  There was a short in the electrical outlet.  It had been just fine ten minutes earlier.  We searched the room, found another outlet that was behind the chairs Jordan and I were camped out on and had to rearrange the furniture.  Finally, finally that cast was off.  The saw lady washed off Shaun's foot, the nurse practitioner came back in to assure us that the incision was fine, and then the saw lady began to put Shaun's foot in another cast.  He was thrilled, as you can see here.

She put the cast on, broke it apart, put it back on, taped it up, and sent us on our way.  And it only took about two hours.  Sigh.  

Tomorrow we go back to Lawrenceville and prayerfully the casts will come off for good. He'll wear a boot until the brace is ready, about two weeks.  

Shaun was a good sport about the whole thing, considering.  He was even able to laugh about it.  Laughter makes everything better, after all.  :)

Talent Night at the Home Church

Last night was Talent Night at my parents' church.  They asked Shaun to participate a few weeks ago, but we thought we had plans.  The plans changed, so yesterday we found ourselves at home on a Sunday afternoon.  This is rare. My mom again asked Shaun if he wanted to play a song on the piano for Talent Night.  Of course, he did and we found ourselves scrambling to prepare something.  This was his first time playing the piano in public, so it was a big deal to us.  Mom asked Jordan and Chris to sing, too, so all three of the Smith men were frantically trying to come up with songs to sing and play.  

Shaun was the first of our crew to perform that night.  My dad accompanied him on his bass.  So sweet, and they did so well.  Shaun was nervous.  So nervous he said he was shaking, and I'm so proud of him for going through with it anyway.  

I sat in the back of the church with my Granny and couldn't even see my dad.  

My mom took this picture from her seat up front.

Chris was up next.  He sang a song alone first and the plan was for Jordan to come join him for a second song.  Only Jordan had a case of cold feet and wouldn't leave his pew.  Oh well.  Maybe next time.  

It was a nice service.  After church the boys went home with my parents so Chris whisked me away on a date to Loco's.  He whisked Violet, too.  She must have been super hungry because she ate and ate and didn't make a sound.  It was a good day.   

Teenagers

For about 7 months now, I've been the mom of a teenager.  It's so different than how I imagined.  When I was a teenager myself, I always thought I'd be so understanding and cool when I had my own teen to mother.  I'd never do anything to cause the eyes of my dear son or daughter to roll.  I'd never be the source of embarrassment, and for sure I would let them make their own choices.  On most things, that is.  

My, how times have changed.  It occurred to me the other day that I have, in fact, turned into my mother.  This is not such a bad thing, at least not as bad as I would have thought it to be way back then, during my teen years.  

My eldest son and I were having a conversation about deodorant a few days ago.  Yes, I did say deodorant.  It irks my nerves that he believes he knows everything.  I mean, he really does believe that he's right one hundred percent of the time.  For some reason he likes to put his deodorant on after he puts his shirt on.  Don't ask me why.  I didn't teach him this and neither did my husband.  I've tried and tried to tell him why it's better to put his deodorant on before his shirt goes on.   When I do this, I am blessed to witness the rolling of his eyes, a huge huff, and usually some remark such as, "I think I know how to put on my own deodorant.  Why do I have to do it your way?"

Now, I realize that this deodorant battle is not that big of a deal, but it's the only example I can think of at the moment.  

The real issue here is that he is in full belief that he knows how to put deodorant on better than I do.  Even though I've been wearing the stuff for approximately 20 years longer than he's been wearing it.  Whenever I bring up the fact that it might be easier to do it differently, and that I know what I'm talking about, I'm met with resistance.  The other day, during this conversation, it occurred to me that I behave like a teenager toward God sometimes.  I was so sobered by this thought that I let Shaun put on his deodorant any way he chose and just dropped the battle then and there.  The revelation that I have "teen to parent" relationship with my Heavenly Father was not an easy pill to swallow.  

Right now, honestly, regarding trust, I'm struggling  in some areas of my life.  I say that I trust God.  I want to trust Him, even now when I'm in a desert and not seeing the BIG PICTURE of how things are going to turn out.  I hear from God clearly during prayer and spending time in His word, and yet I still doubt Him.  People come to us with revelations that God has given them concerning our family's future...revelations that line up exactly with the revelations God has given me...and still I worry and try to fix things myself.  Because I think I know better. I totally, one hundred percent, believe that I know how to do things better than God does.  And when things don't go the way I think they should go, I must confess that I  roll my eyes, throw temper tantrums, and throw my fists into the air screaming "Why can't you let this happen?  Why are things like this?"  Basically, I say to God the same things Shaun sometimes says to me:  "You're ruining my life".  

Even though I know deep down that my Father knows best.  That He knows what He's doing and He'd never do anything to hurt me.  He loves me enough to tell me in multiple ways that my family is, in fact, in His will and things may not be easy right now, but that they WILL be better.  Letting go and letting God have His way is hard.  I want so badly to be one of those mature, super spiritual Christians who take everything in stride and never lose any sleep over what's going on in their lives.  I'm just not there yet.  Growing up and acting my age in terms of my relationship with my Heavenly Father is a step in the right direction, don't you think?   

40 Days in the Word

Last spring I took a huge step out of my comfort zone and agreed to be a group leader at my church's ladies Bible study.  Some of you may think that this isn't a big deal, but trust me...for me it was.  I had actually been feeling led to lead a group for some time, but I ignored God.  I'm bad about that sometimes. Not something I'm proud of, but it is what it is.  I made plans to attend the Bible study last spring and the fact is that I should have been leading a group, but I never said anything.  Even when I heard that leaders were needed and I was "qualified", I didn't say anything.  I walked in deliberate disobedience to God, and it was NOT a good time for me.  To make matters worse, my best friend DID obey the Lord and agree to lead a group.  So I opened my email one day to find a message inviting our homeschool group to come to the study and be in her group.  Salt in the wound!

Leading a study may not seem like a great significant thing, but my disobedience to God WAS a big thing.  I was really convicted and exhausted every reason I could think of to excuse myself from answering God's call.  I thought things to myself like:

*I'm not a "people" person.

*I'm not "holy" enough.

*I don't know enough about the Bible.

*My family is out of control so what business do I have being in any type of leadership position?

*I don't like meeting new people.

*I'm an introvert.  Meeting new people stinks!

And so on and so on.  But still, I felt like I should lead.  As lots of preachers say, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called".  And I was definitely being called.  

So, I signed up.  I agreed to lead a group for the Fall's session.  Fall seemed like such a long time away, and then suddenly it was September and I was so nervous!  The night before the first session I couldn't sleep.  All I could think about was sitting at a table of women who wouldn't contribute to the conversation.  Crickets!  Awkward!  

As it turns out, I was worried for nothing.  Even though I showed up without my Bible.  Ha!   I even went further outside my comfort zone and purposely didn't sit with people I know during the opening service.  I met new people.  It's not as bad as I thought it would be.

The group was great.  Everyone participated.  Our group is diverse:  old and young, mother's and kidless, married and single.  We learn from each other.  We pray for each other.  It's beautiful.  

We're doing a study by Rick Warren called 40 Days in the Word.  It's not our usual type of study.  It's not geared specifically for women.  We're learning how to study the Bible.  How to have a quiet time.  How to apply the Bible to our lives after we read a passage.  Things we all need to know and maybe even think we already know. I'm gonna be sad when it's over! 

Our Drama-filled Trip to Ellijay

Ellijay, GA.  I hadn't been there since I was little, if I had even been there at all.  It seems like I went there with one of my grandmothers to pick apples.  Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.  At any rate I have memories of both Mamaw and Granny talking about going to Ellijay to pick apples.  

Jordan just so happened to have a football game in Ellijay last weekend.  Ellijay is quite a drive from our area in North Hall and we had to leave early.  We had been out late at a homeschool party the night before and I knew we'd all be tired and scrambling to get ready so we made plans to get breakfast on the road.  

We left the house and drove by no less than 10 gas stations.  But we didn't get gas.  We had planned to stop in Dawsonville to get gas and breakfast.  Only our turn came up before we got to Dawsonville.  I distinctly remember telling my sweet husband that we should just go on to Dawsonville and fill up the car.  And fill up our stomachs.  It was just a little way down the road and we had plenty of time.  But no.  He made the turn and we headed toward Ellijay.

When the coach was giving out our "game day" instructions earlier in the week, he described the drive to Ellijay as a "long but pretty drive in the country".  He wasn't lying.  What he didn't tell us was that there were no gas stations or restaurants once we turned off the main road.  And I do mean NONE.  And my gas light came on about one mile after we made the turn.  

Again, I said to my husband, "We might need to turn around.  We don't know how far away the next station is.  And Jordan needs to eat now, not right before his game..."

Alas, he didn't listen.  We drove.  And drove.  And the gas light was staring us in the face.  Or at least it was staring him in the face, as he was driving.  We saw nothing but trees, pumpkin patches, and and apple orchards.  At this point I was a nervous wreck.  I had never, ever ran out of gas before and couldn't believe it was happening now.  We got all excited at one point because we saw a big Texaco sign through the trees.  We began praising Jesus... until we realized that the station was closed down.  Chris kept telling me to check the "Around Me" app on our phones to find the nearest gas station.  He didn't believe me at first when I told him it came back with "no results".  

I seriously do not know how we didn't run out of fuel.  We drove a good 45 minutes after the gas light came on.  It was a miracle, I tell you!  Chris kept muttering, "Please Lord, just help us make it to the school" while I muttered, "who cares if we make it to the school- we still have to make it home!"  The boys, on the other hand, were only concerned about wether or not they were going to get breakfast.  This further stressed Chris and I out.  It was not our finest moment.  

Finally, finally we came to a little gas station with these cute gas pumps...

and a sign reading "CASH APPRECIATED".

If you know us, then you know how often we carry cash. Hardly ever. I asked Chris if he would go in and beg for mercy since he's better with people than I am.  He went in the store and stayed a long, long time.  He finally came out with the last 4 biscuits in the store and more importantly, he was able to pump gas!

The really funny thing is that we were about 2 minutes away from the school where the football game was to be held.  

We were all so happy and excited to get there.  We all piled out of the car and Chris told Jordan to grab his jersey.  And Jordan asked Chris where his jersey was.  Can you see where I'm going with this?  That jersey was at home.  On the couch.  Ugh.  We were in a panic.  At the same time we realized that Shaun had a jersey since he helps out with the team.  Chris told Shaun to give Jordan his jersey.  Shaun yelled no way because Jordan stinks.  And Jordan yelled no way because it would be too big.  And I yelled no way because Shaun didn't have another shirt to wear.  And Violet yelled... I guess because the rest of us were yelling and she felt left out.  Ha!

Just then, Coach Jamie pulled up. Coach Jamie  owns a t-shirt printing company.  He had a trunk full of shirts and found one that fit Shaun.  It was even green.  Jordan put on his big brother's size large jersey and it didn't look too bad.  

We lost the game.  It was really close, tied up until the last quarter.  I screamed until my throat was sore because that's just what I do.  When the game was over we were all exhausted from all of the stress.  What a day.  One we'll never forget, that's for sure.  And I don't think we'll ever attempt a visit to Ellijay without filling up the car first!