Bottoms

I'm getting a little worried about Jordan. My four year old. The two of us had an unusual conversation earlier today, while I was cooking lunch. Before I go any further, I should explain what a "tail" is in the Smith household. This is the name that my hilarious four year old gave to his penis awhile back. Not sure where it came from. He just started calling it a tail one day, and we didn't correct him because it was cute. Now I'm wondering if he'll still be calling it a tail on his wedding night. Anyway. Here's what was said:

Jordan: "Mom. I just don't want to have a tail anymore."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Jordan: "I don't want my tail anymore. I want two bottoms."
Me: "Um, what?"
Jordan: "I want two bottoms, like Layna has. Not a tail." Layna is my niece...his 3 year old cousin and often his "partner in crime".
Me: "Well, sorry, Hon, but God made you a boy. You can't get rid of your tail."
Jordan: "Well, one day I'll be a girl. With two bottoms. Like Layna."

He ran off, leaving me to wonder how in the world he knows that Layna has "two bottoms". I can just see them now, comparing their "parts" in their bedrooms. We'll have to start making sure the doors stay open! I called my sister to tell her about this conversation. Her reaction? "At least we'll have lots of stories to blackmail them with when they're older!"