submission... it's not a 4 letter word, after all.

Submission. It's been a problem of mine since I was a newly married eighteen year old. Almost 12 years later, it still gives me problems sometimes.

I've talked and written about my marital issues before. In all honesty, it hasn't been a great 12 years. Some of our "stuff" stemmed from situations that were out of our control and some of it was brought on by us ourselves. I have a problem with letting the past be the past. Some of you know that, after Shaun was born, Chris and I had major problems dealing with his situation. Or not dealing with it. We basically went our separate ways while living in the same house. This went on for years. I made all the decisions, because Chris just didn't. We were so far away from God, drowning from trying to do everything on our own.

Then, something happened. God sought after my husband (again!) and Chris finally submitted and committed to doing life the right way. God's way. I'll never forget it. He came to me, broken. Through tears, he apologized for not being the father and husband he should have been. For not being the spiritual leader of our house. And he promised things would be different. And they were. Except that my pride got in the way. You see, I had grown so accustomed to doing things on my own that I made it impossible for Chris to "take over". Never mind that handling things myself had turned into a huge train wreck... never mind that the way I took my husband's authority from him and ran with it wasn't Biblical. Just never mind all that.

Then our church began a women's Bible study. The first topic of discussion? The Proverbs 31 woman. Of course. Have you ever read Proverbs 31? This woman really worked my nerves. I mean, really? When I read about this woman all I could think was that I was the total opposite of her. She's not spiteful. She loves to knit and sew. She's an organized morning person. Her husband brags about how wonderful she is and her children are well-behaved. She wears fancy clothes and looks nice all the time and never has to worry about word vomit. She makes sure her family always looks nice, too. And my personal favorite, she treats her husband "generously" her whole life long.

I could not, for the life of me, think of a woman who was any more the opposite of the Proverbs 31 Woman than me.

Let's examine the evidence. (This was several years ago... I like to think that I've grown since then!) I had a tendency to be snarky and it was almost impossible for me to not have the last word during an argument. In other words, spiteful. I had no idea how to even hem my jeans, much less sew my own clothes. I had no control over Shaun (I was pregnant with Jordan at the time). Our home was chaotic... nothing in it's place. I would've rather been hit in the head with a hammer than wake up before the sun rose.

Proverbs 31:10 says it best... "A good woman is hard to find". I remember thinking..."If that's the definition of a good woman, no wonder they're hard to find!" Ha ha!
But the more I listened, the more I read and prayed, the more convicted I became. Not so much about all of the things I just listed, but because of verse 11...

"Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it".

Ouch. That one stabbed me right in the heart. All the other stuff... the sewing, cleaning, early-rising, and organizing... it all all took a back seat to the fact that my husband had no reason whatsoever to trust me. How could he, when I cut him out of everything? When we discussed what to do about a certain situation and I turned around and did what I thought was best instead of what we agreed to do together? Slowly but surely I began to realize that in order to be respectful of God's authority over my life, I had to be respectful of my earthly authority... my husband. And that by taking away Chris' biblical right as the head of our household, I was being boldly disobedient to God's will.

This was so hard for an independent control freak like myself. Honestly, it still is. But I've learned that by letting go of that control and putting it where it belongs, things in life go much more smoothly.

I realize that I've been really blessed since I "stepped down". I do respect Chris' authority over me, but he's never taken advantage of it. He doesn't lord it over my head and have unreasonable expectations. He's never been one to expect me to be someone I'm not: a homebody, a wonderful housekeeper, someone who's content to stay home with the kids twenty-four hours a day. He respects my need to get out of the house. He realizes that I need time with my friends. He's never once been upset with me for not having dinner on the table when he comes home from work. And I, on the other hand, have accepted the fact that some things are my responsibility. Some of those things I really hate to do. I've had to accept my role as my husband's support system... praying for him, keeping the kids out of his hair so that he's able to minister, making sure that his clothes are clean on Sunday mornings... yucky things like that!

A classic case of give and take. Even when we disagree on things, we have always been able to come up with a compromise. I have never, ever been told by my husband that I wasn't "allowed" to do something. There have been many times when we haven't agreed. We're human, after all. Usually in those situations, Chris will say to me, "I really wish you wouldn't do that". And I respect his wishes, even if it made me mad enough to spit nails because he was being so unreasonable. Because he's my authority.

Those who know my husband know that he's pretty laid back. So imagine my surprise the other day when, in the middle of a heated discussion he informs me that I'm not allowed to do something. I bristled at first. "Really? Not allowed? What am I, 10 years old again?" But he was serious. And then he went on to say:

"Erin. You know me. You know I'd never be this firm if I didn't really believe it's best for us and the kids. I know that I've never had to flat out tell you no, but I'm telling you now".

Woah. Hard core, no? My pride and independence began to kick in. Who did he think he was? It's the 21st century after all, and woman don't have to take this anymore! Thankfully, before I shot back this retort (See? God really is working on me!), a peace settled over me. And that was that. I looked at my husband and said, simply, "Okay".

We were quiet for the rest of the car ride. I think he was in shock. And me? I was thinking to myself that it was actually kind of hot when he put his foot down like that. Yes. I actually thought that. I could also literally feel God smiling down on me, pleased that I was in his will, for once. It was nice to bask in the glow for awhile.

And there you go. How I came to realize that submission is not a 4-letter word after all.

boxes... and what to do with them

School "officially" begins again in roughly two weeks. Yeah, my boys and I have been schooling all summer... but the new school year starts up again on Aug 8th in our county. For the record, I'm not a mean mama who makes her kids work work work all summer. We had school two or three days a week, and were able to have fun between all the learning. We actually covered a lot this summer. I'm very pleased with Shaun's progress in math and reading, especially.

But the anxiety is creeping in. This is becoming the norm for me at the end of July. I get antsy. Unsettled. Overwhelmed. Just the thought of a new school year scares me sometimes. I love how relaxed we are in the summer time. For the past two years our school months have been pretty relaxed as well. This year's going to be a little different. We've joined a new co-op which meets two days a week, all day long on both days. New people, new classes. I don't do change well, and neither do my kids. After agonizing for months, the Hubs and I decided that this new group is what's best for our kids. What a hard decision. I'm a creature of habit. I love my church and my church friends. I hate that we're separating ourselves from them, even just a little bit. In my heart, I know we heard from God and He's leading us in the right direction for our family. We'll be with a more diverse group of home schooling families. Most of these families share our beliefs. Some do not. The kids will be taking science, history, phonics, literature, PE, art, and health. For fun, Shaun will be in choir and also be taking voice lessons. Jordan will try his hand at karate. This will all take place in a "school-like" environment. They'll be graded. They'll have homework and be held accountable for completing class work and projects. It will be the best of both worlds. I hope!

I feel kind of like I'm back in school myself, getting nervous about the first day and meeting new people. I'm so glad my sister will be by my side!

Jordan's curriculum was delivered last week. 3 big boxes containing loads of smaller boxes filled with manipulatives, text books, readers, and story books. I've gotten everything out a few times with intentions of going though it, but somehow I always get overwhelmed with it all. Hopefully our lesson plans will be posted on the web site this week and I'll have a better idea of what to do.

I must get organized before August 8th. I have a goal to get our school room purged of anything non-school related this week. Then next week I'll organize everything that's left. We might not actually do school in that school room, but at least all of our stuff will be contained in that one room.
The bookshelf is first. I have so many books. Not sure where I'm going to put them. I can't bear to give them away. I'm a book hoarder. I've listed most of them on paperback swap, but I still need somewhere to keep them until they're requested through the web site. One thing's for sure, they're getting out of that school room!

As usual, I've put this off until the last minute. I'm notorious for procrastinating. I have, however, already filed the "intent to homeschool" for both boys... way before they were due. A first for me, and hopefully a step in the right direction for a more organized me.


It occurred to me for the first time yesterday that I'm going to be really teaching two kids this year. I've always taught Shaun but Jordan has kind of been hit or miss. He knows his letters, sounds, and numbers. He can count and of course he knows colors and shapes. He can write his name and letters and we're working on numbers. I must say that his handwriting is atrocious. Sadly, he gets this from me. Thankfully we have lots of Handwriting Without Tears in those boxes of curriculum! I haven't really had to work much with him and I was getting worried that he would be behind when we began kindergarten. Then I looked over his workbooks and realized that he's way ahead of himself already. This was a relief.

Sometimes I think about the huge responsibility we homeschooling families have, and it terrifies me into praying for God's grace and wisdom. Thankfully, that's usually when He sends His peace down to wash over me, and I can think clearly again.

He's good like that, that God of mine.

down the 'Hooch

The family and I were supposed to be at Myrtle Beach this weekend, but the trip was canceled due to circumstances beyond our control. Instead, we'll be going to St. George Island in September. The kids were disappointed about our change of plans, but took it all in stride. We decided to go tubing in Helen yesterday, since Chris had the day off and all. Tubing. I must admit that I had never been tubing before, even though I live less than an hour away from Helen, GA... the tubing capitol of the world.

Okay, I'm sure Helen is in fact NOT the tubing capitol of the world, but you would have thought it was by the way people reacted when I told them I had never been before. Apparently I'm one of the few people in Northeast Georgia who had never had the experience of floating down the Chattahoochee River in an enormous inner tube.

So we decided to go. Chris and a friend of his had taken the kids tubing a few years ago and had a horrible experience. Jordan got scared and wanted out of the water, so Chris was forced to get out and walk all the way down to the bus area. Not fun. I assured him that this time would be different.

On the way into the mountains Monday afternoon we noticed storm clouds off in the distance. We kept driving and it began to rain. The boys began to whine and cry, thinking that their day was "going to be ruined". The rain passed quickly, and by the time we arrived in Helen the sun was shining.

We paid for our tickets (only 3 bucks each!), bought 1 push-off stick for five more dollars (I thought I wouldn't need one... we would be floating, right?), strapped Jordan into a life jacket, and chose our tubes. The boys opted for floats with a bottom. Chris and I had the regular, doughnut looking ones. We attached our floats together, Chris with Jordan and Shaun with me. We made our way down to the river... and noticed a crowd of people screaming and jumping out of the water. Turns out, a snake had been spotted. A few men tried unsuccessfully to catch it while the rest of us stood by and watched. Finally we decided it was safe and gingerly climbed into the river.

I managed somehow to land where I was supposed to, in my tube. Chris and Jordan got in their tubes and shot on down the river like lightening. Shaun and I got stuck on a rock. So I did what I had to do. I got out of the tube and nudged us over the rocks. I then attempted to fall back into my tube, and landed in the river. Shaun, along with both of our tubes, began to float away. Thankfully, a kind stranger grabbed him and waited patiently for me to make my way down to him. This was no easy task for an uncoordinated woman such as myself. Those rocks were so slippery. I slipped and fell again, this time landing my knee right on a sharp corner of a rock. Ouch. By this time Chris has stopped to find out what had happened to us, and of course he saw the whole thing. And of course he laughed. It's a good thing I'm used to being so clumsy. I really don't get embarrassed much when I fall anymore.

We finally made it to Chris and Jordan so that Chris could help me get back into my tube. We floated along calmly for about five minutes, then ran into some rocks again. And again, I had to get out, push us over the rocks, and try to get back in... because of course Chris and Jordan had shot ahead of us again. I wound up in the water again. I began to wonder what in the world I had been thinking when I suggested that we all go tubing.

It was touch and go for awhile... long stretches of smooth sailing followed by bouts of rocky, shallow water. We finally made it to the halfway point, where you can choose to either get out and go home or keep floating for the "long run". This is where it began to rain. Really rain. It was pouring. Chris suggested that we get out. I agreed. The kids strongly disagreed. So, good sports that we are, Chris and I decided to keep on going.

The good thing about the rain was that it forced more water into the river. At least that's the way it seemed. Either there was more water or I finally learned how to tube, because it was actually very peaceful in the rain. Most of the people had gotten out at the halfway point. Shaun and I had a nice talk as we floated along. We only got stuck a few times and I didn't even have to get out of my tube to un-stick us.

All in all, it was a good trip. Not quite as relaxing as I thought it would be. I had visions of the four of lazily floating down the river, not getting stuck on rocks, bruising our knees, being separated, or getting rained on. But it was still fun. We even have plans to go back. I did learn some important lessons for next time: shell out the five extra bucks for a push-off stick of my own... wear my bathing suit, even if I wear a shirt over it (almost losing your shorts as you're stuck in the river with water washing over you is not fun)... wear sunscreen, no matter how much Chris assures me that we'll be in the shade the whole time (not true-if it hadn't rained, we would have been fried).

One more memorable moment: Coolers and drinks are not allowed on the river, for obvious reasons. The family and I are floating along next to a couple who can only be described as "redneck". They were very nice, just countrified, if you know what I mean. Suddenly, the man jumped out of his tube and waded over to the river bank, where he snatched a cooler. He hopped back in his tube, opened the cooler and took out a beer. As he cracked it open he looked at me, smiled, and said "This ain't my first rodeo". Ha ha ha! Then Jordan asked Chris, "Is that rum?" Ha ha ha again. The things my kids pick up from the "Pirates" movies.

When the ride was over we rode the bus back to our car. I changed clothes and then we went out for pizza before going home. It was a good day. We really can't wait until next time. We're going with some people from church. Crazy-fun people. Should make for an extremely memorable trip.

a day with my sister. and most of our kids.

Last Friday, my sister called me up and asked if I wanted to run errands with her. Since I am usually stuck at home during the day without a ride, I jumped at the chance. I needed to buy some things... shampoo, toilet paper, etc. Plus I love hanging with my sister. Even though all of the kids would be joining us (Shaun opted to spend the day with Granny), I was glad to go.

We started out at Auto Zone. Lori's van needed a new battery. I sat in the car with the kids until Lori came back out with the bad news. Turns out her van is super special and the battery is hard to get to. The Auto Zone guy warned her that it would take awhile for them to change it. He was right. It took several hours. No joke. I walked the kids next door to the pet store to kill time while we waited.


I was so impressed... just look at Jordan following the "one finger rule".


Yes. They're pretending to be cats on the floor of a pet shop. By this time, we didn't even care.


We also made friends with the store manager when we commented on the cool eclectic-ness of his music collection, which he had playing from his iPod. He was impressed that we knew who Blind Melon was. :)

We stayed in that pet shop for what seemed like forever until the children began to get hungry. So we walked next door to a Mexican restaurant. We'd been to this place a long time ago, but it had changed owners and was now like a Moe's... I think of it as a Mexican Subway. Anyway, we got two orders of nachos for us all to share. They were huge. And delicious.


After we ate, the van was ready. And we were more than ready to get out of there. We stopped at the library next.



Jordan with his new favorite book.... Z is for Zombies.

Target was next up. I ran into a kid from our old church's youth group in the parking lot. He's all grown up now. Having a baby and everything. It's always good to see him! Once we were inside the fighting over the buggies began. Somehow I would up with Jordan, Layna, and Jaycee. Jordan and his cousin Layna either really, really love each other or really, really don't love each other. This can change hour to hour. And apparently this was the hour they couldn't stand to be near each other. Considering, it could have been a lot worse, I guess. Or a lot better. Ha ha!


We were getting ready to check out when we ran into Chris' mom and sister, and her two sweet girls. Of course, Nana gave Jordan a treat... five dollars to spend! He struck it rich! He decided to spend it right there in the dollar aisle at Target.

The cute little red head on the left is Emma... Chris' sister's daughter.

Here I am holding Emma's new sister, Hailey.

Layna and Jordan with his findings from Nana. I guess these two liked each other at the moment. :)

We left Target and headed to Belk. There was a sale going on, and Lori needed a new shirt. No pictures from there, but our visit was quite eventful. Micah gagged himself and threw up in a dressing room. Jordan thought he was opening Lori's dressing room door, but it turned out to be a stranger in there instead. I think some more stuff happened, but I can't seem to remember what.

We got out of there as quickly as we could and headed to Oakwood to the Tractor Supply Store. This is my sister's new favorite store. I wasn't that impressed. The kids loved it, though.

Nothing says fun like climbing on bags of chicken feed.

They were sword fighting with horse riding crops.

After my sister had purchased her horse feed, I went to Wal-Mart. Twice. I went in by myself because Target didn't have my shampoo. When I got back out to the van, my niece wanted me to walk back in with her so she could spend her money. That girl always has money. I'm not sure where she gets it all, but she has more than I do a lot of times! We met an interesting character in the Littlest Pet Shop aisle... a woman about my age who collects Littlest Pet Shop figures. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. She was nice, though, and had a good conversation with my niece about how difficult it is to find certain animals. Since I am totally uneducated on Littlest Pet Shop, I wasn't included in the conversation.

By this time, it was after 7. The hubs had already been home, picked Shaun up from Granny's, and came back to church for band rehearsal. Lori drove Jordan and myself to church with plans of dropping us off so that she could go home, but the kids wanted to play on the play ground. We let them play for a few minutes and then they all had to go to the restroom. We went inside and relaxed in the air conditioning for a little bit.



Lori was really tired!

The kids played in the activity room for a few minutes, and the adults did too.

Then we all went out for pizza before we went back home.

What a day.

in my iPhone lately

I was going through the pictures on my phone today and had to laugh at the randomness of some of the things I choose to take pictures of. Here's some of them...

Shaun and friends after a swim.

A beautiful rainbow the family and I saw after a rain storm.

Jordan's new shoes.


The alter call at Forward Conference. Amazing.


Planet Shakers. Also taken at Forward Conference.


I was really excited about this one. See the Borax, Washing Soda, and Baking Soda? That's the ingredients for my laundry detergent... in the same store, on the same aisle, side by side. Until now, I had to go to at least two different stores to get my supplies, and they were never on the same aisle. Thank you, Wal-Mart!


Jordan and his cousin Layna. Playing XBox.


The Hubs and his friend Daniel. Also known as Ron and Don.


Ron and Don in their work clothes. Along with Shaun and Carlos Quesos.


Just a friendly game of dodge ball... in which Jordan didn't dodge.


Shaun and Jordan engaged in a "foot five".


My Pawpaw and Granny on their 60th wedding anniversary.

My sister and I got pedicures. And we took her kids with us!


Ready to swim!



Our after-church trip to El Sombrero. Yes, they ate all that food.


Laser Tag. "It's on. Like Donkey Kong".



We really love each other.

a (pictureless) recap of our Fourth of July

Our holiday was pretty low-key this year. My aunt usually hosts a cook out on the 4th, but this year she was a little too preoccupied with her newly born granddaughter to plan anything. My parents were recovering from my grandparents' 60th anniversary party which was held yesterday. So, my little family spent most of the day by ourselves. We cleaned a little and Chris and the boys cut the grass while I folded a ton of laundry. You remember... the same pile of clean laundry that I was supposed to have folded when I wrote this post. It took me awhile, but I'm happy to report that all of our clean laundry is not only folded, but also put away.

Anyway, we usually go to Dahlonega to catch the fireworks. This year, Chris was on call, so we couldn't risk being that far away from home. My friend Kelli told me that there were fireworks right down the street from us, so we decided to go there. It was kind of overcast all day, and then it began to rain and thunder around 7:00. We met my sister and another friend of ours, plus all of the kids, for dinner. My beef with broccoli was delicious. Chris wasn't too impressed with his sesame chicken. I think the entire restaurant wasn't too pleased with the amount of noise all seven of our kids were making. Oh well. What do you do? They weren't being rude... there's just a lot of them and we were in a small room. The MSG kicked in soon after the boys were finished eating, so we told the others we would meet them for fireworks and high-tailed it out of there.

It was still raining when I left the grocery store a few minutes later, but my sister called and told me that the fireworks were still on, so we headed that way. It was a small community celebration that was put on by a church in the neighborhood. It was really nice. We saw some old friends there who informed us that the event had been going on since 5:00. There had been a softball game and a potluck dinner. I had no idea. We're definitely going to take part next year. The crowd was smaller than we are used to, so the kids had a bit more freedom to run and play. After the fireworks ended, an elderly couple came up to Chris and thanked him for putting on such a good show. We're still a little confused about that. Best of all, there was no parking nightmare. When it was over, we went to our car and were home one minute later. Oh, and Shaun found a firework that had already been shot. He was quite pleased with his find and took it home to start a collection. He plans to add to his collection every year.

We're back at home now. The kids are supposed to be sleeping, but I've heard Jordan's little footsteps in the hallway twice already. Why that boy despises sleep so much is beyond me.