Ahhh. The hyperactive and/or strong-willed child. My children have made me an expert. That is, I'm an expert on recognizing the signs of said children. No way am I an expert on what to do with them! I've been down several roads of treatment with my oldest child, in search of a cure for his ADHD symptoms. I've medicated. Chosen to stop medication and just deal with the symptoms. We've changed diets. Declared food dyes to be The Devil. Declared stimulant medication to be The Devil. I've begged our doctors for medication and then flat out refused it at later visits. I've sang praises and thanked Jesus for the wonderfulness of stimulant medication and I've also called it The Devil.
I've never realized before just how often I refer to things as "The Devil".
You may have guessed by now that we, my husband and I, are at a standstill on what to do with these children God has blessed us with. More about that later. For now, I was just thinking back about our week and the crazy, zany, funny, things our children have done. All in the name of hyperactivity and strong-will.
As you will see, there's no doubt that my lovely ones have hyperactive minds of their own. And here's how I know.
You Know You Have Hyperactive and/or Strong-Willed Children When:
1. Your grandma buys you a copy of The Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson for your birthday.
2. You pick up your five year old from his class at church and his teacher says this to you:
"I was just trying to tell Jordan, and maybe you can help reinforce this to him, that its okay if he twirls during worship but that he really needs to stay on the carpet or the floor mat when he twirls. So he doesn't hurt himself if he falls. Its really okay if he twirls. I love that he's so exuberant in his worship. I just don't want him to get hurt."
Then you reply with:
"Did he obey you when you asked him to stay on the mat or the carpet?"
And teacher responds:
"Well...I could tell that he was really trying."
3. Your eleven year old has to flick, pinch, tap, kick, or swat his brother every single time he walks by. I mean, he really, truly must do this.
4. Both of your children must all the time be engaged in some kind of physical activity: running, jumping, dancing, wrestling, light saber fighting, karate chopping, etc. Again, they really, truly must do this.
5. At your son's eleven year check-up you burst into tears and cry to your child's pediatrician :
"Sniff. Sniff. Sob. I'm ready to....to....entertain the idea that maybe he needs to be on something to help him calm down just a little."
And then you proceed to spend one hundred bucks on a medication that doesn't work at all. Even though you swore on a stack of Bibles that you would never, never medicate your child for ADHD ever again. Ever.
6. Your five year old has an uncontrollable desire to climb on every single object he sees. Cars. Tables. Chairs. Parking lot signs. Play houses. The "outsides" of slides. Counter tops. Dressers. Its all fair game.
7. Your five year old's legs keep moving, as if he's running on air, when you snatch him up into your arms to stop him from running in Kroger.
8. When having a conversation with a friend in the noisy children's area at church, another friend wonders how you and your first friend can hear each other talk. You and first friend laugh and reply that this is the most quiet each of you has had all day. And then second friend quips:
"Ha ha! I guess so. You (referring to first friend) have about 15 kids? Right? (She was joking. First friend only has 7 children) I bet it IS loud at your house. And your two kids (referring to me this time) are about as loud as 15 kids. Ha ha ha!"
9. You comment to your husband that maybe its time for your oldest child to go back on some meds to help him calm down. And then, under your breath, you mutter:
"And Jordan's next!"
And you're only half-way joking.
10. You decided a long time ago to pick your battles with your children. And the battles you choose to let go are often the cause of raised eyebrows from strangers in the grocery store.
11. You begin having a constant internal debate with yourself. First, stating that God made your boys this way on purpose and that you really shouldn't try to squash their spirits. Second, stating that just a little squashing would be a fair price to pay for a little control.
12. You totally do not respect the personal space of the owner of your local vitamin store when you give her a bear hug upon learning that she sells homeopathic remedies for hyperactivity and impulse problems.
13. You buy 2 jars of said homeopathic remedies. One for each of your little angels. And consider getting one for your husband, too, because they inherited this from him in the first place.
14. You find yourself relating to and feeling sorry for Mark Lowry's mother.
15. You frequently comment to your husband how glad you are that your lives are never, ever boring.
And you actually mean it.
I've never realized before just how often I refer to things as "The Devil".
You may have guessed by now that we, my husband and I, are at a standstill on what to do with these children God has blessed us with. More about that later. For now, I was just thinking back about our week and the crazy, zany, funny, things our children have done. All in the name of hyperactivity and strong-will.
As you will see, there's no doubt that my lovely ones have hyperactive minds of their own. And here's how I know.
You Know You Have Hyperactive and/or Strong-Willed Children When:
1. Your grandma buys you a copy of The Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson for your birthday.
2. You pick up your five year old from his class at church and his teacher says this to you:
"I was just trying to tell Jordan, and maybe you can help reinforce this to him, that its okay if he twirls during worship but that he really needs to stay on the carpet or the floor mat when he twirls. So he doesn't hurt himself if he falls. Its really okay if he twirls. I love that he's so exuberant in his worship. I just don't want him to get hurt."
Then you reply with:
"Did he obey you when you asked him to stay on the mat or the carpet?"
And teacher responds:
"Well...I could tell that he was really trying."
3. Your eleven year old has to flick, pinch, tap, kick, or swat his brother every single time he walks by. I mean, he really, truly must do this.
4. Both of your children must all the time be engaged in some kind of physical activity: running, jumping, dancing, wrestling, light saber fighting, karate chopping, etc. Again, they really, truly must do this.
5. At your son's eleven year check-up you burst into tears and cry to your child's pediatrician :
"Sniff. Sniff. Sob. I'm ready to....to....entertain the idea that maybe he needs to be on something to help him calm down just a little."
And then you proceed to spend one hundred bucks on a medication that doesn't work at all. Even though you swore on a stack of Bibles that you would never, never medicate your child for ADHD ever again. Ever.
6. Your five year old has an uncontrollable desire to climb on every single object he sees. Cars. Tables. Chairs. Parking lot signs. Play houses. The "outsides" of slides. Counter tops. Dressers. Its all fair game.
7. Your five year old's legs keep moving, as if he's running on air, when you snatch him up into your arms to stop him from running in Kroger.
8. When having a conversation with a friend in the noisy children's area at church, another friend wonders how you and your first friend can hear each other talk. You and first friend laugh and reply that this is the most quiet each of you has had all day. And then second friend quips:
"Ha ha! I guess so. You (referring to first friend) have about 15 kids? Right? (She was joking. First friend only has 7 children) I bet it IS loud at your house. And your two kids (referring to me this time) are about as loud as 15 kids. Ha ha ha!"
9. You comment to your husband that maybe its time for your oldest child to go back on some meds to help him calm down. And then, under your breath, you mutter:
"And Jordan's next!"
And you're only half-way joking.
10. You decided a long time ago to pick your battles with your children. And the battles you choose to let go are often the cause of raised eyebrows from strangers in the grocery store.
11. You begin having a constant internal debate with yourself. First, stating that God made your boys this way on purpose and that you really shouldn't try to squash their spirits. Second, stating that just a little squashing would be a fair price to pay for a little control.
12. You totally do not respect the personal space of the owner of your local vitamin store when you give her a bear hug upon learning that she sells homeopathic remedies for hyperactivity and impulse problems.
13. You buy 2 jars of said homeopathic remedies. One for each of your little angels. And consider getting one for your husband, too, because they inherited this from him in the first place.
14. You find yourself relating to and feeling sorry for Mark Lowry's mother.
15. You frequently comment to your husband how glad you are that your lives are never, ever boring.
And you actually mean it.
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