God-Moments

Sometimes I write just to be writing.  To record our days so that I don't forget events and sayings and funny things the kids are doing in each season of their lives.  Then sometimes God tells me what to write.  Or He does something so amazing for me that I can't not share it.

This is one of those times. 

The kids and I went to noon prayer service today.  Jordan had been wanting to go so that he could do communion.  I love that he's so excited about communion, but I really didn't want to go to prayer service.  The only reason I wound up going was because Violet had a doctor's appointment this afternoon and we would be in town all day anyway.  If we went to prayer service first, we could ride together and save a little gas money.  

So, we went to church with Chris and had two hours before service started.  Violet took a nap and the boys did some school work while we waited.  Finally, it was time and we went in and got our little communion cups.  

The service began and it was really good.  Just what I needed to hear.  The pastor who preached referenced the message from this past Sunday.  Perry Stone brought a good word about "speaking to our mountains".  During the sermon today we were asked to think about our own personal mountains and then were given time to reflect and pray.  One particular mountain I'm currently facing is an old enemy of mine.  Depression.  Yuck.

It's been almost a whole year since I've dealt with this ugly demon.  I know for a fact that I was delivered from it last summer. But lately I've been feeling it try to creep back in.  I'm overwhelmed. And let's face it-  my three kids have been giving me some fits lately. I've also been struggling with forgiveness.  Feeling bitter.  I think I wrote recently that bitterness was not becoming on me.  Well, it's still not!  My joy's been slipping away.  

Violet got fussy during the prayer portion of the service.  I was going to take her out into the lobby but she settled down on my way out. I  decided to stay in the back of the auditorium. And I started speaking to my mountain.  What started out as speaking to my mountain soon had me in tears.  I cried out to God to wrap his arms around me and give me my joy back!  I asked for help in seeing the good things in every moment, the good things in my kids, the good things in my marriage. I paced around, prayed in the spirit, and cried until it was time to do communion.  The service ended and I didn't feel any difference except that now my eyes were all gritty from my tears.  I sat down in a chair to wait for Chris to get his things together so that we could go to lunch.  

Out of nowhere a woman I've never seen before began making her way toward my from the front row.  She pulled me to my feet, wrapped her arms around me, and through her tears began telling me that my family was beautiful, that I was beautiful, and that my marriage was beautiful.  She prayed for God to continue to bless us.  When she was finished, I looked at her and said "You have no idea how much I needed that today.  Thank you!".  She gave me one more hug and said, "Don't forget.  You are blessed!".

I am, indeed.  

I write all this to say to you, my friends, that God cares.  He cares.  He cares when we're tired and stressed and ready to pull our hair out as we strive to live in His will and do what He's called us to do.  He cares enough to send down little God-moments when we're at our lowest.  

  I don't think I've ever prayed specifically for God to wrap his arms around me before.  Today, 10 minutes after I prayed that prayer, I get enveloped in a hug by a total stranger who basically parroted back answers to my prayers to me.  What an amazing moment.  For all I know, that woman was an angel sent from God to confirm to me once and for all that I don't have to be a slave to depression.  I CAN see the glass as half-full and I CAN have my joy back.  Even on days like the ones I've been having lately.  :)

Okay.  I've been going all day and now it's almost midnight and I'm tired.  I'm not going to proofread this before I hit "publish", so there's no telling how it'll look.  It may not be pretty, but it's what's on my heart.