crazy quotes

I went out with some friends to celebrate our good friend Elissa's birthday last night. I love laughing and saying silly things and acting just a little bit crazy. As usual, we said some funny things and laughed a whole lot. I don't want to forget any of these little jewels, so I'm writing them down here. Of course, in order to protect the guilty, I'm not naming any names. I don't even think anyone knows who came along on this little outing, except of course those of us who were there. Everyone's identity should be safe. Anyway, here they are.

Lady Number 1:"My sewing machine needs a tune-up."

Lady Number 2: "Huh?"

Lady Number 1: "If that's what you do to a guitar, why can't you do it to a sewing machine?"

"Being on top is too much work."

"The good thing about having c-sections is that you're not all stretched out down there."

"Oh yeah. People mistake me for a lesbian all the time. I've even gotten free stuff because people thought I was a lesbian. I'm not sure why... do I look like a lesbian?"

"Speaking of R.I.P., I need to let one rip."

Person number 1: "Be quiet, or I'll tell everyone about the bad-awful thing you did."

Person number 2: "The terrible-awful."

Person number 1: "Dang it. Right. The terrible-awful thing you did."

"You seriously don't know what corn pone is?"

"She hates Amish people. She doesn't even like to read Beverly Lewis."

"I just punched her in the face."

And my absolute favorite of the night, even though it wasn't said by one of us, was:

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

Because I think we all need to hear it every single day.