My "Before" Face

So, Christmas has come and gone.  We had a good one this year, filled with family and food.  Lots of food.  I broke my promise to myself and didn't start back doing Keto before Christmas.  Thankfully, this year only has about 45 minutes left.  A new year is right around the corner.  

Tomorrow, January 1, it's Keto Time.

The Hubs and I both have a goal to lose 100 pounds this year.  I'm not brave enough to post my weight on this public blog, no matter how little of an audience I have.  I will, however, post how much I lose each week along with some progress pictures.  And, if I can find my tape measure, my measurements.  

Here's a "before" shot of my face, taken today with my friend Jennifer during lunch today.   I'm the one in the glasses with the huge face.  I'm looking forward to a thinner face next month! 

Christmas "Break", So Far

We're on Christmas "Break" here at Smith Academy.  I used quotation marks because one of my students is actually still catching up on some assignments.  I won't name names, and this isn't really as bad as it seems.  We're just doing an assignment or two each day until we get caught up.  We're almost done.  Christmastime is always  busy for us, and we fell off of our school schedule during our church's Christmas production.  The production was beautiful, but I had forgotten how much work is put into it.  All of our shows and programs are over now, so we can relax a bit and just enjoy the rest of the season.  

Chris took some time off work this week.  We've been on "vacation time"....staying up way too late and sleeping in.  A few days ago, after we stayed up late and slept in, we  actually had a productive day.  We had to get a new fridge and a new washing machine.  We took a load of junk off to the landfill.  Chris fixed the bathtub in our room.  A lot of work, but we managed to get in some shopping and dinner together as a family.  

Last night, we went to see the Christmas lights in Dahlonega.  If you're local and haven't done this, you're missing out.  The square is all lit up and it's just magical.  At least Vi and I thought so.  Chris and the boys were less impressed than us.  We got home late, piled up on the couch and watched TV until 2 in the morning.  Because it's Christmas Break!  Chris had to work today, so he didn't get to sleep in, but everyone else in the house is still out.  It's only 9:32 am.  I got up with Chris and started some chicken and dumplings in the crock pot for our dinner.  

No, dumplings aren't Keto friendly.  That's another post.  

Also, yesterday, I did something stupid.  A few weeks ago, during the Big Snow, one of my windshield wipers broke.  I forgot about it, since it hasn't rained since.  Well, it rained yesterday and I honestly thought I was going to die.  I couldn't see a thing  in front of me.  My Prozac wasn't strong enough to handle that!  I had all the kids with me and I finally just pulled into the driveway of a big, fancy house and waited for Chris to come rescue me.  Lesson learned.  

Well, I didn't get back on track the next day.  In fact, I was way, WAY off track for a week.  And I felt awful, mentally and physically.  The bottom line is that, whether I'm losing weight or not, I really do feel better when I'm following Keto.  I was just going to wait until after Christmas to get back on the wagon.  This is what I do when I'm offtrack.  I reason with myself on why it's okay to remain off track.  Yesterday, I came to my senses.  I COULD wait until after Christmas and just feel miserable and bloated for another week and a half.  And then, my birthday is 5 days after Christmas.  And then there's New Years Eve.  Then Jordan's birthday.  And so on.  There's always something, some reason to wait.  I had some kind of internal intervention with myself and today I'm back on track.  I wasn't hungry until lunch, so I didn't eat until then.  I just finished a delicious salad with Romain lettuce, a little feta, a little bacon, and a little Ranch dressing.  It was delicious.  I'm also drinking my water again.   

In all reality, I probably will eat "real" Christmas food over Christmas, but at least I'll have a grip on myself as I head into that holiday.  Which, I don't think, has ever happened before.  For as long as I can remember, I've entered into Christmas stuffed full of food and miserable, anxiously waiting and dreading December 26th because that's when I'd start being healthy again.  Such a lame struggle.  I hate it.  

Weighty Issues

Again.  It's always the weight.  I was doing so well at the beginning of this year.  My doctor and I had finally diagnosed my thyroid issue, and my medication was working.  My hair was growing back.  I was eating right, exercising, and the weight was coming off.  

Then came the burn.  It took months to heal, and I literally couldn't move without grimacing in pain.  I stayed home on the couch unless it was absolutely necessary.  While I stayed home, I ate.  And ate and ate, for 2 months.  Even after I was able to get around again, I still couldn't exercise.  For me, exercise and eating right go hand in hand.  If I slack on one, I'll slack on the other.  So, I'd take the kids to the YMCA and eat snacks while they swam.  For real.  And I gained 30 pounds. 

I had to see a plastic surgeon for my burn, and that visit turned into Panniculectomy surgery.  If you don't know what that is, click the link for the gory details.  I came out of that surgery ten pounds lighter, which was exciting.  I wasn't expecting the recovery to be as bad as it was.  I went into this surgery thinking that the recovery would be similar to my three c-sections.  It just wasn't.  Recovery took about 2 months, the first of which is just a haze of pain medication.  And food, of course.  Our friends and families blessed us with meals while I recovered, and they fed us very well.  Plus I snacked all the time, when I wasn't sleeping.  

When I finally got the nerve to step on the scale last month, I had gained 40 pounds.  Seriously, only I could wind up weighing more after having ten pounds of excess fat and skin removed.  

I went back to my PCP doctor and found out that my blood sugar was high again.  She recommended a low carb way of life.  Again.  I was doubtful, because I'd tried it before, for a whole summer, and only lost 7 pounds.  But that was before my thyroid medicine kicked in.  I contemplated trying again, and then it seemed like everyone I knew was talking about going Keto.  I took that as a sign, so I started up again a week and a half ago.  

Chris is on board too, this time.  It's definitely an adjustment for him.  A whole new way of approaching what we eat.  Low carb, high fat, moderate protein.  Lots of green veggies and meat.  Just no bread, sugar, potatoes, or fruit.  Except berries.  In moderation.  

So, I started last Monday.  I weighed myself the other day, on Wednesday, and I was down four pounds.  This post has taken me three days to compose, so I'm not sure what the posted date will show.  Today is Friday, I started this post on Wednesday.  I'll have to check for future reference.  

So, anyway, on Wednesday, about a week and a half after starting Keto, I was down four pounds.  We had co-op that day, and our Christmas potluck lunch.  I made a Keto friendly spinach dip that I planned to eat with celery from a veggie tray and some cheese and pepperoni.  There are several other Keto moms in our group, so we had some options!  However.  I wound up at the end of the line.  By the time I got to the food, all of my Keto food was gone, except for some cheese.  There was a TON of food there, so I think the problem was that kids were loading up their plates with way more than they'd ever eat.  Even my spinach dip was gone.  So, I just ate whatever.  Chips and onion dip.  Some meatballs made with jelly and barbque sauce.  And a cookie.  I did eat a few veggie sticks, and someone made a finger food that consisted of a dill pickle wrapped in cream cheese and a slice of ham...these were really good, and Keto approved.  

Oh, and I drank some apple cider, too.

I felt absolutely horrible for the rest of the night.  So tired and sluggish.  It wasn't worth it.  

The next day was a new day, thank God.  My plan is to make it to Christmas with no slip ups.  I really have to take it day by day.  Sometimes minute by minute.  Like a true addict.  Food is my drug of choice.  

My Current Situation

Today is Wednesday.  Co-op day.  My day started out hectic and hasn't stopped yet.  

Co-op is over, and I'm currently at the library with Jordan, Violet, and my nephew.  We are at the library so that Jordan can get some of his school assignments completed.  Usually, on co-op days, we bring our laptop and he can get quite a bit accomplished during his down time.  This morning, though, he swears he only heard me ask him to pack the charger chord for the computer and not the computer itself.  

Omgoodness.  

Every week it's the same routine on Wednesdays.  Why would I only want to bring the charger chord?  Jordan's  eleven, about to be twelve.  Every day he's becoming more and more like a teenager.  I still love him, though.  Whether intentional or not, his lack of ability to bring our computer to co-op backfired on  him, because here we are at the library, schooling away.  He's not even complaining.  

One funny thing Violet did today.  I had a doctor's appointment and had to leave co-op for about an hour, during her science class.  When I returned, she ran up to me, moaning that she had the worst day ever.  Why?  Because Mrs. Melody tried to teach her about dinosaurs, and she doesn't like them.

Literally, smh.  

One Year Later...

So, I'm not sure how I managed to go an entire year (give or take a few days) without posting anything here.  Truthfully, we've had one heck of a year and have been so busy.  Also truthfully, I miss writing here.  It's therapeutic and I like having a way to remember this crazy life of mine.  The thought having an entire year of life absent from this blog gives me waves of regret and anxiety.

Moving on.

I left off last  year right after Thanksgiving.  We had a great Turkey Day Season.    The Christmas season was even more hectic than usual.  Both boys had their usual activities, and we added dance classes for Violet into the mix.  Lots of running around.  There are three kids and only two of us parents.  Said kids have activities in three different cities.  Thank God for my parents!  

Right before Christmas last year, Jordan dislocated his shoulder in a wrestling tournament.  The first doctor we saw said absolutely not more wrestling or football.  We were crushed and sought a second opinion.  After physical therapy and lots of work, Jordan is wrestling again this year.  We're taking it slowly to see how it goes.  This may or may not make me a nervous wreck.

In February, Shaun competed in Special Olympics for the first time... and placed FIRST!  This was so exciting and we were so proud of him.  I was so shocked at the level of competitiveness at these events.  These kids were out for blood!  I wasn't really expecting Shaun to do well, since it was his first time competing.  I guess he showed me.  Ha!

There's  nothing to report, really for the rest of the winter.  Nothing sticks out, anyway.  

Springtime sucked.  For me, anyway.  I burned myself boiling eggs to dye for Easter.  The handle of my pot broke off when I was taking the pot of eggs to dump into the sink.  The entire pot of rapidly boiling water cascaded over my torso.  I had never been burned before, so I didn't realize at first that not feeling any pain was a bad thing.  I finally saw my doctor a few days later, who sent me to a plastic surgeon.  The time between Easter and summer is literally one big blur of pain medication.  And pain.  I cannot express the pain.  

The good thing that came out of this experience was my panniculectomy.  Yes, I had one.  I had so much damage to my skin from the burn (and so much excess skin in general) that my plastic surgeon recommended this surgery.  I had it done in August, on the day of the solar eclipse to be more specific.  Recovery was hard.  The end of August and the month of September are also big blurs filled with pain, medication, and a few errors in judgement caused by said pain medication.  I'm all better now and I'm glad I had the surgery, which would have never been possible if I hadn't been burned.  So I guess in a round about way, I'm glad I was burned.  Sigh.  

I also gained over thirty pounds during this ordeal. Thirty freaking pounds.  I guess I could blame the medication, or the fact that I couldn't move for months.  I can also take responsibility and say that I went crazy and used food for comfort.  Same old thing.  

I'm starting from scratch with this weight loss thing.  It's not even about weight at this point,  but about being healthy.  I'm back to the gym and trying to eat right.  Chris is on board this time, too, so maybe we can make it work together.