Weepy

I'm weepy tonight.  Very emotional.  Shaun will turn 13 on Saturday.  13!  A teenager.  How in the world has this happened?  

I also came across a picture of my father-in-law tonight and I think it finally hit me that he's really gone.  How in the world did that happen?  February has been a hard month.  We're all tired.  Stressed but surprisingly not grouchy.  

Chris is back at home for the most part except when he's working and we're all glad about that.  The kids went kind of crazy when he was away helping his mom.  So did I.  And so did he, to tell the truth.  This is such a hard situation.  We still really need prayers as we try to grieve and adjust.  Please pray for my mother-in-law especially.  Her life has been turned upside down.  

Sometimes it helps to cry.  Everyone except me is sound asleep in our house.  It's so quiet and I can finally think, which is a rare occurrence.  Lately when it's quiet, I cry.  It's cleansing.  Refreshing, and it gives me a clear perspective.  We've had to explain that to the kids.  After his papa's funeral Shaun looked up at me and whispered, "I cried.  But only a few tears".  This broke my heart and I assured him that it was okay to cry.  That I had cried a ton  of tears and so had daddy.  I don't think Shaun had ever seen his daddy cry before all of this happened.  I can think of only two other times.  

Sigh.  This post is a big mess of melancholy rambling.