From 04-05-12...
I had a doctor's appointment last week. I was expecting an ultrasound. Needing one for my peace of mind. I've been so anxious for the past few weeks. Fear had taken over. I went through this a little when I was expecting Jordan, only not quite so bad. I know I'm overreacting. Lying awake at night and imagining every little thing that could go wrong in a pregnancy is not healthy. I know this. And I know that everything is out of my hands. But I still worry. It's how I am. I hate it, but I've always struggled with worry. Lately, since I've been "off my feet", I've had lots more time to devote to worrying. This is not good. My blood pressure is up. I've been having anxiety attacks and sleepless nights.
So, at last week's appointment, I really needed an ultrasound.
I didn't get one. My tear is healed, and I'm not having any symptoms. Dr H said he couldn't just make up a reason to give me another ultrasound, and that was that. I scheduled my next appointment and went out to the car. And then, my emotions took over. I googled "Fetal Fotos" on my phone and called them up. Asked the lady who answered the phone if she had any openings that afternoon. She did, and I scheduled the appointment. I realize that this was selfish of me. Making this appointment for an ultrasound that would tell us the sex of our new baby before even finding out if my husband could get off work to go with me. As it turned out, he couldn't get off work early. But as usual, he was understanding of my craziness. His exact words were, "do whatever you need to do to feel better".
A few hours later, I was in the car with my mom and the boys. I had no idea that Fetal Fotos is only about 10 minutes from our house. We all went inside the office and I had the ultrasound. I had a twenty minute "baby fix" and I can honestly say that my mind was eased. And then the big moment came. The ultrasound tech asked the kids what they thought the baby was- boy or girl. Of course my children responded with an emphatic, "BOY". My mother, on the other hand, just knew I was carrying a girl. The tech grinned and told us that grandma was right... "there's your little girl!".
Little girl.
Not what I was expecting at all, but such a wonderful surprise. The world stopped for a minute while my brain registered the news. I was thrilled. The boys, on the other hand, were NOT. They wanted a brother. Things got a little dramatic. Have I mentioned that I live in a house full of drama kings? By the time we dropped my mom off at her house, they were starting to come around. They still weren't happy, but at least they weren't voicing their negative opinions anymore! I asked if they wanted to surprise their daddy by going to Wal-Mart and buying something girly for him to open. Of course, we would also buy the big brothers something too. They agreed to this whole-heartedly. I told them they could each pick out one small thing for their sister(!) to wrap up for dad. Shaun came around the corner with an armload of pink blankets and dresses. When I gently reminded him to pick one thing he replied, "But Mom. She will NEED all this stuff!". That's when I knew he was going to be okay.
We left the store with a sweet little pair of shoes (from Jordan), a set of girly onesies (from Shaun), and Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (from me, to my big boys). They chose an Incredible Hulk bag to wrap it in, and we set out for home. Of course, The Hubs called on the way home. I told him that we hadn't been able to determine the sex but that the baby was healthy. He seemed fine with the news and asked me if I felt better. He was already in the house when we made it home, so Shaun brought the bag in. Chris opened it and a look of shock came up on his face. "It's a girl??" he gasped. Then his phone rang. It was Josh from church. Chris answered the phone and said, "Dude, I just found out that I'm having a little girl!"
Hands down, my favorite memory from that day.
It's been eight weeks since that day. The boys have come around and accepted the fate that is their sister. They're actually excited. Jordan has felt her move. Shaun says he'd rather not... what 12 year old wants to touch his mother's stomach... but he's the first one to ask how my appointments go or if the baby's alright. He even has a nickname picked out for her. Violet Victoria will be " V V" to her biggest brother.
It will be a big change. It's so strange to have little dresses and pink sleepers in the house. We have about 3 more months until Violet joins us. If her movement in utero is any indicator, she will be a force to be reckoned with. I don't remember either of the boys being so strong or active. She'll fit right in! I guess we'd better start getting ready. There's a lot to do. Cribs and bunk beds to buy, things to register for, and rooms to paint. This pregnancy has flown by. It's so crazy to think that we're in this season again. I'm trying to savor every minute.
I had a doctor's appointment last week. I was expecting an ultrasound. Needing one for my peace of mind. I've been so anxious for the past few weeks. Fear had taken over. I went through this a little when I was expecting Jordan, only not quite so bad. I know I'm overreacting. Lying awake at night and imagining every little thing that could go wrong in a pregnancy is not healthy. I know this. And I know that everything is out of my hands. But I still worry. It's how I am. I hate it, but I've always struggled with worry. Lately, since I've been "off my feet", I've had lots more time to devote to worrying. This is not good. My blood pressure is up. I've been having anxiety attacks and sleepless nights.
So, at last week's appointment, I really needed an ultrasound.
I didn't get one. My tear is healed, and I'm not having any symptoms. Dr H said he couldn't just make up a reason to give me another ultrasound, and that was that. I scheduled my next appointment and went out to the car. And then, my emotions took over. I googled "Fetal Fotos" on my phone and called them up. Asked the lady who answered the phone if she had any openings that afternoon. She did, and I scheduled the appointment. I realize that this was selfish of me. Making this appointment for an ultrasound that would tell us the sex of our new baby before even finding out if my husband could get off work to go with me. As it turned out, he couldn't get off work early. But as usual, he was understanding of my craziness. His exact words were, "do whatever you need to do to feel better".
A few hours later, I was in the car with my mom and the boys. I had no idea that Fetal Fotos is only about 10 minutes from our house. We all went inside the office and I had the ultrasound. I had a twenty minute "baby fix" and I can honestly say that my mind was eased. And then the big moment came. The ultrasound tech asked the kids what they thought the baby was- boy or girl. Of course my children responded with an emphatic, "BOY". My mother, on the other hand, just knew I was carrying a girl. The tech grinned and told us that grandma was right... "there's your little girl!".
Little girl.
Not what I was expecting at all, but such a wonderful surprise. The world stopped for a minute while my brain registered the news. I was thrilled. The boys, on the other hand, were NOT. They wanted a brother. Things got a little dramatic. Have I mentioned that I live in a house full of drama kings? By the time we dropped my mom off at her house, they were starting to come around. They still weren't happy, but at least they weren't voicing their negative opinions anymore! I asked if they wanted to surprise their daddy by going to Wal-Mart and buying something girly for him to open. Of course, we would also buy the big brothers something too. They agreed to this whole-heartedly. I told them they could each pick out one small thing for their sister(!) to wrap up for dad. Shaun came around the corner with an armload of pink blankets and dresses. When I gently reminded him to pick one thing he replied, "But Mom. She will NEED all this stuff!". That's when I knew he was going to be okay.
We left the store with a sweet little pair of shoes (from Jordan), a set of girly onesies (from Shaun), and Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (from me, to my big boys). They chose an Incredible Hulk bag to wrap it in, and we set out for home. Of course, The Hubs called on the way home. I told him that we hadn't been able to determine the sex but that the baby was healthy. He seemed fine with the news and asked me if I felt better. He was already in the house when we made it home, so Shaun brought the bag in. Chris opened it and a look of shock came up on his face. "It's a girl??" he gasped. Then his phone rang. It was Josh from church. Chris answered the phone and said, "Dude, I just found out that I'm having a little girl!"
Hands down, my favorite memory from that day.
It's been eight weeks since that day. The boys have come around and accepted the fate that is their sister. They're actually excited. Jordan has felt her move. Shaun says he'd rather not... what 12 year old wants to touch his mother's stomach... but he's the first one to ask how my appointments go or if the baby's alright. He even has a nickname picked out for her. Violet Victoria will be " V V" to her biggest brother.
It will be a big change. It's so strange to have little dresses and pink sleepers in the house. We have about 3 more months until Violet joins us. If her movement in utero is any indicator, she will be a force to be reckoned with. I don't remember either of the boys being so strong or active. She'll fit right in! I guess we'd better start getting ready. There's a lot to do. Cribs and bunk beds to buy, things to register for, and rooms to paint. This pregnancy has flown by. It's so crazy to think that we're in this season again. I'm trying to savor every minute.
No comments:
Post a Comment