Well, I'd like to say that I plan to start writing again, but I probably won't. I miss it, I enjoy it, I just don't have the time for it. I am going to start making more of an effort, though, because it's so therapeutic for me.
It's a new year. 2018 was something else. We have had our share of ups and downs before, but this past year was a doozy that left our heads spinning. Lots of mountaintops and also lots of deep, dark valleys.
It seems like Chris and I would go from exhilarated to the depths of despair several times in just one week.... for the whole year. I was tired of the struggle and just not feeling it on January 31st.
Then, I received a Facebook message from a friend of mine. Not a close friend, as in someone I talk to often, as our paths rarely cross. We didn't even have each other's phone numbers. But she messaged me and said that she'd had a dream about me and that she'd like to tell me about it. And that she knew that she sounded crazy. Ha!
I called her and she proceeded to tell me about this dream. Jackie, if you're reading this and I'm messing up your dream, I'm sorry! This is just what I remember.
The dream:
I was in the middle of a field of wild flowers. I was dancing. The Lord's hand was reaching down to me from the sky and twirling me around. I was laughing and joyful. And, (this is my favorite part) I was barefoot, but my feet were wrapped up in some kind of material. As the Lord spun me around, the bindings were unraveling off my feet. As all this as happening, Proverbs 31:25 made itself known:
"She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."
My friend then began to tell me the things the Lord had revealed to her about my life. Things like: the things that are binding me will be falling away, I will get my joy back, and I will not be afraid of what's going to happen in the future any more. That God loves me, that He has a purpose for me, and that I'm about to start living out that purpose.
I really didn't know what to say. So I cried, of course.
I cried even harder when I realized that my mom had given me a necklace with that same scripture on it for Christmas just a few days before.
Needless to say, Proverbs 31:25 will be my verse this year. I don't really see myself as strong or dignified...yet. But with God's help, I will become both of those things. And I will laugh without fear of the future.
Sometimes I have to strain to hear God's voice. I'm thankful for other times, like these, when He's loud and proud and there's no way I can mistake what He's trying to tell me.
And to my sweet friend Jackie.... thank you for sharing your heart with me. I needed it.
