Glasses

A few weeks ago, The Hubs purchased himself some glasses. From a stand in the mall. His vision doesn't require him to wear glasses in order to see. He just saw these glasses and thought they looked really cool, so he bought them. Here he is. In his new glasses. (This is the best picture I could find)


Can you see them? Cool glasses, right?

As a person who MUST wear contacts or glasses in order to see anything clearly, I think the idea of wearing fake glasses is silly. And I've made my opinion known. But Chris still loves his glasses, and he wears them all the time.

Last week, brave soul that he is, my Hubs took our two children to the movies by himself. "Karate Kid" was playing, and they were all super excited to see it. When they returned, I asked him how things went. This is a recap of our conversation:

Me: So, how'd it go tonight? How were the kids?

Chris: It was okay.

Me: Okay, what happened?

Chris: "Stinkin' Jordan. He was --

Shaun: Jordan was standing up in his chair doing karate chops and kicks. Everybody saw him.

Me: Huh? Why was he doing that? Chris...did you let him stand on his chair and behave that way in a movie theater??

Chris: I didn't know he was doing it until I heard the people behind us laughing.

Me: Were you three not sitting together? How could you not know this was going on?

Chris: I was right beside Jordan. I just didn't notice what he was doing because...well, okay. If you must know, it was because I was wearing my glasses and the frames get in the way of my peripheral vision. That's why I didn't notice. But as soon as I heard those people laughing I looked to see what was going on and I made him stop.

I could NOT keep myself from laughing. Tonight, we finally took the kids to see "Shrek Forever After". And Chris left his glasses at home.

I have a child who loves to climb...

As I was organizing some of our pictures, I noticed that I had a TON of pictures of Jordan on top of things that he'd climbed. Yes, my youngest child is a climber. We noticed this about him very early on in his life. I remember walking into our den and finding him on top of our piano when he wasn't even a year old. He just likes to climb, and then he likes to stay on top of the things that he climbs. I asked him a few days ago to explain exactly why he feels as if he must climb on top of everything he sees. His reply? "I like to be up high. Because I'm a monkey." Who can argue with that?

Here are some photos I found of Jordan. You know...on top of things that he's climbed!

Here's Jordan on top of his dresser. He had been sent to his room for a time-out and this is how I found him. I think he was three years old here.


Two years old. At the park.


Trying to make it up the rock wall at the fair.



Totally oblivious to the signs reading "Please do NOT climb on the pumpkins!"


Monkey Bars for the self-entitled Monkey Man.





Buggies are made for perching.


Who needs stairs?



Jordan absolutely LOVES this ladder at church. I should clarify here that he's really not allowed to climb on this ladder. We do have some rules, after all! Every time he climbs up this ladder, he is rewarded with a punishment. After I snap a picture, of course...



And finally, it goes without saying that, given his love of climbing and being "up high", this is Jordan's favorite way to be carried by his Dad:




Yes. I have a child. And he loves to climb!

Nobody's gonna rain on our parade....or on our swimming trip, either!

On the way home from church Wednesday night, I received a text. An "invitation" text. I love those! It was from our church friends, inviting us over for lunch and a swim in their community's pool the next day. Of course, we accepted. Shaun loves swimming in their pool and he's always up for hanging out with his friends Seth and Nathan. He thinks Olivia is pretty cool, as well! Jordan was excited, too, because it just so happens that the parents of Seth, Nathan, and Olivia are none other than Mr. Brandon and Mrs. Kendra: two of his teachers on Sunday morning. Jordan was a little disappointed when I explained that Mr. Brandon would probably be at work and wouldn't be able to swim, but he got over himself pretty quickly.

So, the next morning, we headed off. It was a little hectic at first, as it always is with a small herd of children...trying to get everyone fed and to the restroom, but we eventually made it down to the pool. We lathered everyone with sunscreen, I strapped Jordan into his life jacket, and Kendra and I found seats under an umbrella. We're fair-skinned, after all!

The kids all had a blast...for about 15 minutes. That's when the rain started. The kids kept swimming. After all, it was only rain! Jordan then announced that he had to use the restroom. Again! When we returned, everyone was out of the pool. Uh oh, I thought. It must have thundered!

I was right. We waited around a few more minutes, hoping it would pass. Unfortunately, it didn't. When lightening started shooting straight down from the sky, we loaded up the car and drove back to the house. I was worried we were in for some all-out whining...but I was pleasantly surprised. The kids played video games. The moms talked. Jordan called me a "punk" when I told him no about something. And he was punished. Oh, and the best part...when we came back from the pool, Jordan had the nice surprise of seeing Mr. Brandon after all. He had come home from work on his lunch break to check out a problem with the family's air conditioning unit. Jordan was so excited to see him!

This was the second time this week that a swimming trip of ours was canceled due to inclement weather. Chris and I decided to take the kids swimming at my parents house Tuesday evening. We left our house and it was just a little cloudy. During the 5 minute drive to my parents house, the thunder started booming and the wind was blowing. We thought maybe this would be one of those "quick summer time thunder storms", so we went inside to visit until the storm passed. Two hours later, we were still visiting and the storm was still raging.

Ahh. Gotta love summer time in Georgia!

Addiction

I have a new one. Words with Friends. If you have an iPhone, Blackberry, or any other kind of phone that is capable, go to your App Store right this minute and download the *free* version. Then join me in a friendly game of Scrabble. Search for my user name...Erin012...and challenge me! Your chances of winning are fairly good, as I stink at this game. But its only my first day! I think my problem is that I'm too impatient...and I don't like to think about things for too long. Whatever. I still have fun!

My good friend Halston turned me on to this game today. Actually-if I'm going to be totally truthful-she took my phone from me (during a nursing home visitation with our church), downloaded the app, and even chose my user name for me. Some might say she's a tiny bit controlling...but that's an issue for a whole different post. :) Kidding! I love her! Chris and I have had a game going with her since around noon today. Part of the beauty of Words with Friends is that it's self-paced. Players can take thier turns when they have a spare minute, or they can wait hours in between turns if they're stumped. One can even play while driving, but I don't recommend it. Ahem.

So, today after I had been engaged (off and on, of course!) in an intense game of Scrabble for about 5 hours when the family and I arrived at Shaun's karate class. When we walked inside and made our way past the reception desk to our seats, I overheard the receptionist, Michelle, saying something to the tune of "...Words with Friends. Its free! Its so addictive!" Needless to say, I jumped right into that conversation and picked up 2 more user names to challenge, so I can play until my heart is content.

So. Get the app. And challenge me!

Why I won't be named "Mother of the Year" anytime soon.

We did something bad, Chris and I. Well. Not really bad, I guess. Stupid may be a better word. Definitely not smart. Or I guess it depends on who you ask. Some people may consider it bad.

We had promised to take the boys to the movies on Friday evening. Shrek, of course. They'd been looking forward to it all week. Chris picked up some movie passes from work, and we made our plans. Friday also happened to be our friend Ronnie's birthday. So we invited him along. We had planned to eat dinner at Chilli's and then go to the 8:30 movie.

Everything went according to our plans until it was dessert time. I had taken the boys to the restroom thinking we were ready to head to the theater. When we returned to the table, the (big) boys had ordered dessert. Okay, I thought. Whatever. We all shared some of the white chocolate cake and ice cream. And it was delicious!

We made it to the theater just in time. Chris went up to the window to trade our passes in for tickets and received the blow....turns out the movie passes were not valid on 3D movies. And the 8:30 show of Shrek was, in fact, 3D. The last showing of the regular Shrek had started playing 45 minutes before we arrived. So there we were.

We found ourselves in the midst of a dilemma. The only other kid-appropriate movie showing that night was "Marmaduke". Even if we had wanted to see that, (which we didn't--not only does it look utterly ridiculous to me, we will be taking the kids to see this movie at church camp this week) it was a new release. And the passes we had were discount passes, which means that we could only see movies that had been in theaters for two weeks. Sigh.

We tried to explain to the kids. I tried to talk them into coming back the very next day to see Shrek. They weren't having it. Shaun was on the verge of tears and Jordan was on the verge of a tantrum. That's when my Hubs had his bright idea. He proposed to take the children to see Robin Hood. Of course he blurted out this idea before he discussed it with me. And of course the kids agreed wholeheartedly. After all, they just wanted to see a movie. They really didn't care which one.

For the record, I tried to reason with Chris. I told him that the kids were tired. The movie didn't start until 9:45, and they'd never last that long. I told him that we knew nothing about this movie and, since it was rated PG-13, it probably wasn't appropriate for Shaun to see, let alone Jordan. I tried to remind him of the time my mother had taken my sister and I to see Titanic, also rated PG-13, and about how shocked and mortified we all were when we discovered that there was nudity in the movie.

But no. He wouldn't listen. His argument? And I quote, "You wouldn't have a problem with it if I wanted to see Eclipse". Um. Well, yes I would. Its true that my kids have seen some PG-13 movies. But- only movies that we've seen first. I tried to bring up this little detail, but he didn't want to hear it. So off we went. Me, my 32 year old husband, our 29 year old friend, and our children, ages 10 and 4. Into a PG-13 movie about warriors and thieves that began at 9:45.

We were about fifteen minutes early walking into the theater. When we were all inside, I thought previews were already playing. I turned around and whispered, "Is this right? Are we in the right theater?" To which a woman behind us, after catching a glimpse of Jordan, retorted "I don't know. This is Robin Hood". It turns out the previews weren't playing at all, it was just the "First Look" they play before the previews. So we all settled into our seats in the back row.

We had barely sat down when Jordan asked for a drink. And Ronnie wanted popcorn. So off they went. Chris soon followed, saying that he wanted some popcorn for himself. They came back in one piece, Jordan clutching a drink that was almost as big as his whole body. He sat back and began to sip. The real previews began. When the "Eclipse" trailer played, Jordan turned to me and said "Oh, mom! Its Twilight!" Which resulted in holier-than-thou-look-number-2 from the same lady who had walked in behind us. I tried to ignore it.

Half-way through the trailers, I heard a big SPLASH. Of course. Jordan's huge drink. All in the floor. Chris left to get a refill. Jordan saw him leave and jumped up, running after him. I ran after Jordan, in case Chris had already gotten outside the theater door. We got another drink and when we came back to our seats, Ronnie was laughing. Hard. I wasn't sure why until I saw the theater employee on our aisle, setting up a cone around the mess Jordan had made. We all sat down on each side of the cone and the movie began.

In all honesty, it was a great movie! Just totally inapropriate for the children to see! Lots of violence. And let's not forget the scene in which Prince John and his French girlfriend were in the bed, making tons of noise, until John's mother walked in to give him a "talking to". And then John proceeds to stand up butt-naked in front of his mother. Ew. Yeah, Chris was getting some evil looks from me.

Aside from that...it wasn't that bad. Jordan actually feel asleep halfway though. And we didn't get anymore "looks". And, after we made it back home, Chris actually admitted that we probably shouldn't have taken the kids to a movie like that before we had seen it for ourselves. Um, yes. Haven't we heard that before?

The next morning, we had a meeting at church. Since we were all out unitl almost 1 a.m., we were tired. A friend asked me why I was yawning, and I told her we were out late at a movie. She asked me what we saw, and the whole story came out. There was a pause of semi-awkward silence and then she hit me with, "What? Didn't you know there was that R-rated movie playing that they both wanted to see?" Followed by laughter. The funny kind of laughter, but mixed in with the I-can't-believe-you-really-took-your-kids-to-see-that-movie kind of laughter.

So there you have it. Why I won't be named "Mother of the Year" anytime soon.

Out of the Mouths of Moms

"Do you need to use the restroom? Are you sure? Well, you need to stop touching your private parts. If you feel like you must touch it, please go to your room and close the door."

"Yes, you must wash your hands. Because you just used the toilet. If you want to go back to our table and eat, you must wash your hands. Because your hands are dirty. Because you put them on the toilet, and toilets are dirty. Because other people have had their bottoms on it. Just wash your hands!"

"Please don't hold the puppy by her neck. Because you could hurt her. I know she won't stay in your lap. Probably because you've squeezed her too hard and she's afraid of you. "

"Okay, that is SO inappropriate. We do NOT fart that way in public. And if you do, you certainly don't need to announce it to everyone. I don't care if Dad thinks its funny- its rude!"

"Jordan...give me the knife. Bring it back to me right now. Right this minute! I know Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fight with knives, but you're not a turtle. Where did you find that, anyway. I said bring it to me right now! "

"Please do not use my cellphone to take pictures of your brother's bottom. That's not what cell phones are for. If you do that again, I won't let you play games on my phone anymore."

Things My Children Have Said Lately

"Look at that man. He has a peg-leg!"- Shaun

"I am going to my class tonight. And I'm not gonna hit any of my friends."- Jordan

"Okay, so where's the dead man?"- Shaun

"I just don't want you to be my mom anymore because I'm mad at you because you tell me what to do and you're mean to me so I don't want you to be my mom anymore."- Jordan

"Not my spelling. Please not my spelling. It stinks. Its so boring. Anything but my spelling."- Shaun

"I drew on my armpit, too. Not just my body. See?"- Jordan

"Can you PLEASE tell Jordan to stop beating me with this stick?"- Shaun

"Did God make me black?" No. "I think He did." Nope. He made you white. "Did He make me red?" Nope. "I think He did make me red. See?" And he points to his nipples. - Jordan

"When I did the dance moves, I got out of breath. So I took a break during the worship song." Shaun

"Can I just kiss you on the glasses?"- Jordan

Peppy

I've been sick for the past few days. Wheezy, asthma-like symptoms. It stinks. Yesterday, my wheeze was so terrible I could hardly get a breath.

Now, I know this is bad. Real bad. But, ever since the pollen came out in April, I've been sneaking puffs of Shaun's Albuterol inhaler. The one he used back when HE had asthma, over a year ago. Its not like I was really stealing his medicine. His symptoms have long since disappeared, and he hasn't had to use his inhaler in over a year. I took my first puff on Easter Sunday. Oh, the relief! I could breathe! So I kept on puffing, as often as I needed. Until all of the Albuterol was gone. GONE! By this time, the worst of pollen season was behind me, so I thought I'd be okay. And I was, for a few weeks. But Sunday night, I was up all night long. Unable to breathe. Coughing. Hardly able to talk without using my "tourrettes" voice- as my sister calls it.

A few days earlier, while cleaning out our medicine drawer, I came across some of Jordan's old Albuterol packs. The kind that's used in a nebulizer. Sometime in the middle of Sunday night, I remembered those packets and thought that I could really benefit from a breathing treatment. Jordan hasn't had to have a breathing treatment in over a year, and its a good thing...because I couldn't find our nebulizer for the life of me. I turned the house upside down at 2:00 in the morning while searching for that crazy thing. Nothing. I still have no idea where it is.

As soon as the sun came up....or around 9:00....I called my sister and informed her that I was sending the Hubs over to her house to borrow her children's nebulizer. Of course, she agreed to loan it to me, and Chris returned home to me carrying the cutest little penguin-shaped nebulizer you've ever seen. Seriously. Its shaped like a penguin. I've named him Peppy and am honored to call him my new friend. And, just let me tell you...What a difference a breathing treatment makes! I could breathe again! I could talk. I could SLEEP! I gave myself breathing treatments ever four hours, like clockwork. I even carted Peppy along on a visit Vogel State Park for a Memorial Day picnic. Yes, I've been attached to that penguin-shaped nebulizer for the past two days.

And I'm feeling better. Still coughing a little, but no wheezing. As long as I keep doing the treatments. But, I realize that I cannot continue to use all of my children's medicine. And so, I think a trip to the doctor is in order.

I wonder if she'll give me a nebulizer of my very own? And if I can request a penguin-shaped one? I've grown really attached to Peppy over the past two days. I'm not really sure that any old nebulizer could ever take his place.